Why Most Adults Argue Like 12-Year-Olds—And How to Fix It Fast

05/01/25 • 55 min

What if conflict isn’t the problem—but your brain’s outdated way of responding to it is?

In this game-changing episode of the TRUE Wellness Podcast, Dr. Dee sits down with Carol Barkes, one of the nation’s top neuroscience-informed conflict resolution experts, to explore the untold science behind how we communicate, argue, and heal.

With over three decades of experience, Carol has worked with global organizations like the U.S. Air Force, Amazon, HP, and even the United Nations, applying cutting-edge brain science to transform communication and negotiation at the highest levels. She’s directed one of Idaho’s largest court mediation programs and serves as an ADR advisor to FEMA. But beyond her impressive credentials—she brings the tools that actually work for everyday people, in real-life relationships.

💡 What Listeners Will Learn

In this episode, you’ll learn:

✅ How unresolved conflict creates hidden health problems—from anxiety to inflammation

✅ Why most adults have the conflict resolution skills of a 12-year-old (and how to fix it)

✅ The “90-Second Rule” to stop spiraling arguments in their tracks

✅ How to disarm defensiveness and create safety in any conversation

✅ The role of tone, texting, and triggers in modern communication breakdowns

✅ Why conflict is your biggest opportunity for growth—not your enemy

Carol’s viral TEDx Talk “From Flames to Solutions” was one of the Top 30 most influential TEDx Talks of the century (LA Magazine)—and after hearing her insights, you’ll understand why.

Find out more about Carol here:

www.carolbarkes.com

https://www.instagram.com/carol.barkes/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/carol-barkes-2aa9192b/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100046888702012

Tedx Talk Episode: Conflict and Negotiation: From Flames to Solutions | Carol Barkes | TEDxHuntingtonBeach

Download your FREE TRUE Wellness Checklist here: https://go.drdee.com/checklist

Thanks for listening to TRUE Wellness with Dr. Dee, where we’re redefining health and empowering change. Hosted by Dr. Dee, creator of the T.R.U.E. Wellness Framework, this podcast brings you expert insights, inspiring stories, and actionable strategies to help you thrive.

Subscribe, share, and join the conversation! Visit www.drdee.com to learn more, and follow us on social media for more wellness inspiration.
Instagram: dr.dee.phdFacebook: dr.dee.z.phdYouTube: @dr.deephdLinkedIn: drdeezanzarovphdTikTok: @dr.dee.phdWebsite: www.drdee.com

Want to watch the full interview? Watch here: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.deephd

🎙️ Your journey to true wellness starts now!

What if conflict isn’t the problem—but your brain’s outdated way of responding to it is?

💡 What Listeners Will Learn

In this episode, you’ll learn:

✅ How unresolved conflict creates hidden health problems—from anxiety to inflammation

✅ Why most adults have the conflict resolution skills of a 12-year-old (and how to fix it)

✅ The “90-Second Rule” to stop spiraling arguments in their tracks

✅ How to disarm defensiveness and create safety in any conversation

✅ The role of tone, texting, and triggers in modern communication breakdowns

✅ Why conflict is your biggest opportunity for growth—not your enemy

Find out more about Carol here:

www.carolbarkes.com

https://www.instagram.com/carol.barkes/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/carol-barkes-2aa9192b/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100046888702012

Tedx Talk Episode: Conflict and Negotiation: From Flames to Solutions | Carol Barkes | TEDxHuntingtonBeach

Download your FREE TRUE Wellness Checklist here: https://go.drdee.com/checklist

Want to watch the full interview? Watch here: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.deephd

🎙️ Your journey to true wellness starts now!

Previous Episode

Is Your Tongue Making You Sick? The Hidden Link Between Airway Health, Sleep, and Chronic Symptoms

What if everything you thought about health is missing one major factor—your airway?

In this jaw-dropping episode of the TRUE Wellness Podcast, Dr. Dee interviews Alyse Shockey, RDH, CHHP, CSOM—airway health pioneer, orofacial myology expert, and founder of Tongue UniversityTM. With over 30 years in dentistry and holistic health, Alyse reveals how your tongue position, breathing patterns, and childhood habits could be silently contributing to fatigue, anxiety, poor sleep, and even ADHD misdiagnoses.

This episode exposes how airway dysfunction goes undetected in both kids and adults—causing widespread symptoms that are too often misdiagnosed or ignored.

💡 What Listeners Will Learn

✅ Why Tongue Position Could Be Wrecking Your Health Most people have no idea where their tongue should be resting. Poor placement affects your breathing, posture, sleep, and facial development—yes, even as an adult.

✅ The Shocking Childhood Signs of Airway Dysfunction Bedwetting, thumb-sucking, night terrors, ADHD, and crooked teeth are often misdiagnosed symptoms of an airway issue, not behavioral problems.

✅ How Tech Neck & Mouth Breathing Are Reshaping Faces The rise in electronic use and open-mouth posture in kids is impacting jaw development and overall facial symmetry.

✅ Why Orthodontics Alone May Not Fix the Problem Without retraining the tongue and correcting mouth function, braces alone won’t prevent relapse—and may cause more issues long-term.

✅ How You Can Start Fixing the Problem Today Simple tests, posture checks, and breathing awareness can reveal red flags. Alyse offers practical, everyday ways to reclaim your airway and your health.

Download your FREE TRUE Wellness Checklist here: https://go.drdee.com/checklist

Want to watch the full interview? Watch here: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.deephd

🎙️ Your journey to true wellness starts now!

Next Episode

Can Sound Heal the Body? How Frequency Can Restore Your Health Naturally

What if the key to healing wasn’t in a pill—but in a frequency?

In this powerful episode of the TRUE Wellness Podcast, Dr. Dee sits down with Linda Bamber-Olson, sound healing expert and founder of WAVWatch, to uncover the overlooked science of bioenergetic healing. Born deaf in one ear, Linda developed a lifelong passion for sound, later creating one of the most cutting-edge wearable tools that uses frequencies to support the body’s natural ability to heal. From emotional trauma to physical pain, parasites to hearing loss—she’s seen sound change lives.

With over 30 years in holistic health and a deeply personal journey through breast cancer advocacy, Linda shares the remarkable stories and science behind how sound frequencies influence cellular function, balance hormones, and even support mental wellness. You’ll rethink everything you thought you knew about healing.

What Listeners Will Learn:

The True Power of Sound Frequencies

Learn how ancient knowledge and modern tech converge to help the body rebalance, detox, and heal—without drugs or side effects.

The Shocking History of Sound Medicine Suppression

Discover how pioneers like Tesla and Rife were silenced—and why frequency-based healing was nearly erased from modern medicine.

How a Watch Helped Dissolve Pain, Infections, and Even Kidney Stones

Hear real-life case studies, from women reversing breast lumps to people ditching hearing aids and chronic pain meds after 30-minute sessions.

Why You Absorb Frequencies Through Your Bones and Skin—Not Just Ears

Uncover how your body acts like a tuning fork, resonating with healing tones that restore balance from the inside out.

How Parasites, EMFs, and Emotional Trauma Disrupt Healing—and How to Clear Them

Linda explains how WAVWatch protocols helped clear parasitic infections and trauma-related symptoms with measurable before-and-after results.

Learn more about Linda's work here:

https://buy.wavwatch.com/yo0nfg46 - Use code DR.100 for a $100-OFF on your first WavWatch!
https://www.instagram.com/thewavwatch
https://www.facebook.com/wavwatch

Download your FREE TRUE Wellness Checklist here:

https://go.drdee.com/checklist

Download your FREE TRUE Wellness Checklist here: https://go.drdee.com/checklist

Want to watch the full interview? Watch here: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.deephd

🎙️ Your journey to true wellness starts now!

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