How to Stop Self Sabotaging When Dating

10/17/23 • 47 min

In the “How to Stop Self-Sabotaging When Dating” episode, Triggered AF hosts, Alechia & Dani get honest about all the ways in which we sabotage ourselves when we’re dating. If you want to attract better partners you’ll want to get super clear about what works for you. From there, it’s crucial to work on the parts of you that don’t yet believe you deserve what you want so you sabotage yourself. You set the standard and boundaries for the way people handle you. Treat yourself so well that anytime you’re treated contrary to what is your norm or standard, you can course correct. You’ll be waiting a long time hoping for others to validate your importance in the world. So, first start with you! Listen in now for a little taste of what’s included in the DWAF course and use these tools to date well and live even better.

Watch the conversation on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/q0UCIcyouak

Discover the best types of partners for you with the “What Type Dater Are You?” Quiz: https://bit.ly/dwafquiz

SPONSORED BY:

Dating Well AF Course, visit to learn more: http://datingwellaf.com

KEY POINTS:

Be intentional with how you treat and love yourself.
Set the standard for how people treat you.
Identify what you love about yourself and work on ways to show self-appreciation.
Learn to be vulnerable about your journey and tell yourself the truth.

QUOTABLES:

“If you do not believe that you are worthy of good things, you begin to attract things and people that do not treat you well.”

“Replace negative self-talk with positivity.”

“Learn yourself so that you can choose your partner and not settle for being chosen.”

“Set boundaries and standards that you are able to maintain as well.”

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOSTS:

Alechia Reese

For coaching, visit: http://gotvaluenation.com

Instagram | instagram.com/alechiareese

LinkedIn | linkedin.com/alechiareese

Dani Bourdeau

For coaching, visit: http://danifostercoaching.com

Instagram.com/thedanibourdeau

RESOURCES:

For more info, visit: http://triggeredafpodcast.com

Like what you're hearing? Follow Triggered AF and share the love!

IG: instagram.com/triggeredafpc

Twitter: twitter.com/triggeredafpc

FB: facebook.com/triggeredafpc

YouTube: youtube.com/channel/@triggeredafpodcast

Triggered AF Podcast is produced by Triggered Media Group.

Watch the conversation on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/q0UCIcyouak

Discover the best types of partners for you with the “What Type Dater Are You?” Quiz: https://bit.ly/dwafquiz

SPONSORED BY:

Dating Well AF Course, visit to learn more: http://datingwellaf.com

KEY POINTS:

Be intentional with how you treat and love yourself.
Set the standard for how people treat you.
Identify what you love about yourself and work on ways to show self-appreciation.
Learn to be vulnerable about your journey and tell yourself the truth.

QUOTABLES:

“If you do not believe that you are worthy of good things, you begin to attract things and people that do not treat you well.”

“Replace negative self-talk with positivity.”

“Learn yourself so that you can choose your partner and not settle for being chosen.”

“Set boundaries and standards that you are able to maintain as well.”

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOSTS:

Alechia Reese

For coaching, visit: http://gotvaluenation.com

Instagram | instagram.com/alechiareese

LinkedIn | linkedin.com/alechiareese

Dani Bourdeau

For coaching, visit: http://danifostercoaching.com

Instagram.com/thedanibourdeau

RESOURCES:

For more info, visit: http://triggeredafpodcast.com

Like what you're hearing? Follow Triggered AF and share the love!

IG: instagram.com/triggeredafpc

Twitter: twitter.com/triggeredafpc

FB: facebook.com/triggeredafpc

YouTube: youtube.com/channel/@triggeredafpodcast

Triggered AF Podcast is produced by Triggered Media Group.

Previous Episode

How to Use Delusion to Create a Dope Life

May all your delulu come trululu. In the episode of “Using Delusion to Create an Inspired Life,” we focus on the power in transforming your reality through astronomical thinking. Delusion is essential in shifting your mindset. You cannot allow the expectations and opinions of others to dictate your life and the vast opportunities it holds. Everyone has different experiences in life, and there is no right or wrong answer in these experiences. Another person’s experience – although true for and to them – does not have to be your reality. Create a delusion that is supportive of your purpose regardless of what others think you may or may not be able to accomplish. Remember, your delusion serves as an armor for your dreams.

Watch the interview on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/M-QQGRGgRJ4

SPONSORED BY:

Dating Well AF Course, visit to learn more: http://datingwellaf.com

KEY POINTS:

Another person’s experience does not have to be your reality.
You are in control of your destination.
Breathing is your permission slip to try again each day.
It is not everyone’s responsibility to feed into your delusion.
Your delusion serves as an armor for your dreams.

QUOTABLES:

“You decide what your reality is.”

“There are endless possibilities and opportunities in this life.”

“Use delusion to create the life you want!”

“It is important to not be constantly seeking validation, but if you must seek validation do so for the favorite version of yourself.”

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOSTS:

Alechia Reese

For coaching, visit: http://gotvaluenation.com

Instagram | instagram.com/alechiareese

LinkedIn | linkedin.com/alechiareese

Dani Bourdeau

For coaching, visit: http://danifostercoaching.com

Instagram.com/thedanibourdeau

RESOURCES:

For more info, visit: http://triggeredafpodcast.com

Like what you're hearing? Follow Triggered AF and share the love!

IG: instagram.com/triggeredafpc

Twitter: twitter.com/triggeredafpc

FB: facebook.com/triggeredafpc

YouTube: youtube.com/channel/@triggeredafpodcast

Triggered AF Podcast is produced by Triggered Media Group.

Next Episode

How to Build Your Legacy and Manage Your Assets

Money and Legacy: Planning for the Final Chapter

Over 70% of African Americans don’t have an estate plan. Over the next 25 years the largest wealth transfer will occur in American history, but the majority of Black people aren’t going to participate in that because we don’t have estate plans. You can keep complaining about what’s happening to you or learn how to build legacies for yourself and your families. Edges were laid and wigs were snatched speaking with Attorney India Ali, Esq. and Ashley M. Fox of Empify, they gave actionable steps that you can use today to begin preserving and structuring the legacy for your family. Whether you're rich or working on it, this episode is for you!

Watch the conversation on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/_SLg_eOby3I

SPONSORED BY:

Dating Well AF Course, visit to learn more: http://datingwellaf.com

Quote of the Week

“Might fuck around and find out how worthy I am in this lifetime.” – Lauren Eliz Love

Dating Well AF Tip

"The longer you entertain what's not for you, the longer you postpone what is."

Dating potential and not honoring what you truly want and the type lifestyle you desire will only ensure you never get it.

KEY POINTS & QUOTES:

Legacy is started and created while you’re living.
We hyperfocus on death, but when it comes to legacy planning, focus on putting a structure around the legacy you’re living now.
You plan trips, marriages, and vacations. Be willing to also structure your end of life plans.
People die, assets don’t!
Wanting your children or family to “get it out the mud” comes from a place of anger, not love.
Set your child up so they have the tools and resources to lead the life they want to lead versus the one they have to lead.
The person in the mirror is who changes your life.

CONNECT WITH OUR GUESTS:

India Y. Ali, Esq

Instagram | http://instagram.com/askattorneyali

TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@askattorneyali

Website: https://askattorneyali.com

Ashley M. Fox

Instagram | http://instagram.com/_ashleymfox

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleymfox1

Website: https://www.empify.com

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOSTS:

Alechia Reese

For coaching, visit: http://gotvaluenation.com