Perfectionism: A Trauma Response
Explicit content warning
11/22/22 • 51 min
1 Listener
Our society rewards those who work hard, appear to never make mistakes, and seem to have everything under control. We’ve collectively decided on what perfect looks like and attributed perfectionism with the ideal person. What if we told you that perfectionism is actually a protective measure used to prevent oneself from feelings of rejection, abandonment, and worthlessness? These words don’t quite scream “perfect” do they?
Trauma Rewired hosts Jennifer and Elisabeth have touched upon this trauma response before, but today’s episode is a deep dive into how it can develop and lead to harmful avoidance behaviors. They deconstruct perfectionism, including defining the three types of perfectionism and how it interplays with CPTSD elements like the inner critic.
You’ll learn the many health consequences that the chronic stress of perfectionism can cause, and how to distinguish excellence from perfectionism. Jennifer and Elisabeth also share their experience with perfectionism, and how it can push us into burnout or freeze states.
Perfectionism is not an attainable goal, which makes it debilitating and a hindrance to healing trauma. To take the first step towards moving out of perfectionism, tune in!
Topics discussed in this episode:
- Defining the 3 types of perfectionism
- Perfectionism as a trauma response
- Jennifer’s example of setting yourself up for failure
- The effects of perfectionism on our health
- Maladaptive coping mechanisms for perfectionism
- How to recognize perfectionist behaviors and thinking
- Jennifer on taking action against her perfectionism
- Trauma healing, neurosomatic intelligence, and integration
- Limiting beliefs push the loop of perfectionism
- Elisabeth on the importance on self-regulation tools in her life
- How perfectionism negatively affects organizations and employees
- Steps Elisabeth has taken to heal her perfectionism and workaholism
Learn more about Elisabeth Kristof and her company, Brain-Based Wellness, here: https://brainbased-wellness.com/about/
Join the Trauma Rewired Facebook Group!
Head to https://calendly.com/traumarewired/consultation for a consultation to identify trauma responses in your own life and learn how to train your nervous system to move out of behaviors that aren’t serving you!
Work with Jennifer:
https://linktr.ee/traumarewired
FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: www.athleticgreens.com/rewired
Our society rewards those who work hard, appear to never make mistakes, and seem to have everything under control. We’ve collectively decided on what perfect looks like and attributed perfectionism with the ideal person. What if we told you that perfectionism is actually a protective measure used to prevent oneself from feelings of rejection, abandonment, and worthlessness? These words don’t quite scream “perfect” do they?
Trauma Rewired hosts Jennifer and Elisabeth have touched upon this trauma response before, but today’s episode is a deep dive into how it can develop and lead to harmful avoidance behaviors. They deconstruct perfectionism, including defining the three types of perfectionism and how it interplays with CPTSD elements like the inner critic.
You’ll learn the many health consequences that the chronic stress of perfectionism can cause, and how to distinguish excellence from perfectionism. Jennifer and Elisabeth also share their experience with perfectionism, and how it can push us into burnout or freeze states.
Perfectionism is not an attainable goal, which makes it debilitating and a hindrance to healing trauma. To take the first step towards moving out of perfectionism, tune in!
Topics discussed in this episode:
- Defining the 3 types of perfectionism
- Perfectionism as a trauma response
- Jennifer’s example of setting yourself up for failure
- The effects of perfectionism on our health
- Maladaptive coping mechanisms for perfectionism
- How to recognize perfectionist behaviors and thinking
- Jennifer on taking action against her perfectionism
- Trauma healing, neurosomatic intelligence, and integration
- Limiting beliefs push the loop of perfectionism
- Elisabeth on the importance on self-regulation tools in her life
- How perfectionism negatively affects organizations and employees
- Steps Elisabeth has taken to heal her perfectionism and workaholism
Learn more about Elisabeth Kristof and her company, Brain-Based Wellness, here: https://brainbased-wellness.com/about/
Join the Trauma Rewired Facebook Group!
Head to https://calendly.com/traumarewired/consultation for a consultation to identify trauma responses in your own life and learn how to train your nervous system to move out of behaviors that aren’t serving you!
Work with Jennifer:
https://linktr.ee/traumarewired
FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: www.athleticgreens.com/rewired
Previous Episode
Emotions and the Nervous System
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How the Patriarchy and Systems of Oppression live in the Body
“In order to have a thriving world, a thriving ecosystem that works in harmony, we need variance... And yet because we are so far away from our own sense of inherent knowing of our enoughness, we’ve constructed a world where that’s not true for our bodies.”
This quote from author Sonya Renee Taylor perfectly puts the discussion on this episode of Trauma Rewired into context. Joining host Jennifer Wallace to share their perspectives on how systems of oppression live in the body are founders of Neuro Somatic Intelligence, Elisabeth Kristof and Melanie Weller, as well as Victor Jones, a neurosomatic practitioner.
Societal, racial, institutional, and ancestral oppression are just a few of these systems that lead to chronic stress and negative consequences for our health. We live in a world with oppressive systems like racism and unrealistic body standards, which festers a sense of unsafety, and results in a dysregulated nervous system, making it difficult to find connection and community. But there are ways we can overcome these inherited and learned responses!
To start the process of dismantling these oppressive systems and getting to a place of safety and healing, tune in to learn more!
Topics discussed in this episode:
- The body hierarchy and how oppression lives inside the body/nervous system
- How these systems of oppression affects us and how to challenge them
- Melanie’s view on the effect of patriarchy and oppression on the body
- Our bodies as ancestral artifacts
- Victor on how NSI can help dismantle these systems
- Finding compassion and connection
- How the vagus nerve is impacted by oppression
- Societal oppression in regards to fat phobia
- Victor’s experienced conditioning around racism
- Why regulation tools are so important
- Mental illness stigma as oppression
- Deep survival responses and regulating the nervous system
- Benefits Elisabeth has seen from working with her nervous system
Connect with Melanie Weller on Instagram and her website: https://www.melanieweller.com
Connect with Victor Jones:
Victor LaRue Jones, MSW, LCSW, LCAS (he, him, his)
Certified Resilience Educator
Valiant Families, PC
PO Box 8064
107 SE Main St Ste 410
Rocky Mount, NC 27804
252-382-0682
Learn more about Elisabeth Kristof and her company, Brain-Based Wellness, here: https://brainbased-wellness.com/about/
Join the Trauma Rewired Facebook Group!
Head to https://calendly.com/traumarewired/consultation for a consultation to identify trauma responses in your own life and learn how to train your nervous system to move out of behaviors that aren’t serving you!
Work with Jennifer:
https://linktr.ee/traumarewired
https://www.traumarewired.com/
FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: www.athleticgreens.com/rewired
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