Understanding We Are One: The Next Step in Human Evolution

07/06/21 • 66 min

When it comes to being more empathetic with other humans that are different from us, Lauren Nile feels that she could put together a five-day PowerPoint presentation with 1000 bullet points, yet nothing would be as impactful as experiencing discrimination or harassment first-hand or seeing someone we love go through it. She believes that we need to go out there and be curious and make an effort to get the closest we can to walk in their shoes. Once we see their humanity, it is almost impossible to hold on to the prejudices against them.

Lauren Nile is an Author, Keynote Speaker, Organizational Development Trainer, Consultant, and Retreat Facilitator. Her primary goal in working with groups is to increase participants' self-awareness and emotional intelligence. She is a former VoiceAmerica.com and The Wisdom in The Middle host. Lauren was named one of the 2019 Outstanding Voices of Palm Springs and received the 2019 Greater Palm Springs Pride Spirit of Stonewall Advocate of the Year Award. Lauren holds a BA in Philosophy from the University of New Orleans, an MA in Philosophy from the University of Connecticut, and a JD from Cornell University School of Law.

In this episode, we had a wonderful conversation about oppression, acceptance, and empathy. Lauren shared her brilliant take on intersectionality and enlightened us with her kind wisdom. We discussed our society's ongoing transformations and what is missing to reach equality. Lauren also shared her experience coming out to her family, how they reacted, and her experience as an LGBTQ community member in the late '70s.

Some Questions We Ask:

Could you tell us a bit about you, your experience, and your life? (7:30)
We would love to hear about how coming out was for you. (17:20)
How do we educate young people to avoid sticking to beliefs that won't let them accept others with a different sexual orientation than theirs? (24:30)
What is the intersectional nature of your experience around race and sexual orientation? (32:45)
What can we do to be advocates for the LGBTQ community? (44:06)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

Lauren describes how it was to grow up in the segregated South as a Black person (9:05)
We need to be curious; that is how the world changes (15:01)
The impact of not being accepted by their families for trans people (22:05)
Lauren shares her priceless view on intersectionality (32:27)
Lauren's list of 9 essential items to be an advocate for the LGBTQ community (44:07)

Resources:

Lauren N. Nile website
Book: Lauren N. Nile - RACE: My Story & Humanity's Bottom Line
The Faith of Humanity Podcast with Lauren Nile
What I Want White People To Know And Do - Lauren N. Nile
Race And Racism: Going to the Core Workshop - Lauren N. Nile and Bridget Sampson
The Family Acceptance Project, San Francisco State University
Book: Isabel Wilkerson - The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration

Connect with Lauren:

Connect with Jackie and Bridget:

Some Questions We Ask:

Could you tell us a bit about you, your experience, and your life? (7:30)
We would love to hear about how coming out was for you. (17:20)
How do we educate young people to avoid sticking to beliefs that won't let them accept others with a different sexual orientation than theirs? (24:30)
What is the intersectional nature of your experience around race and sexual orientation? (32:45)
What can we do to be advocates for the LGBTQ community? (44:06)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

Lauren describes how it was to grow up in the segregated South as a Black person (9:05)
We need to be curious; that is how the world changes (15:01)
The impact of not being accepted by their families for trans people (22:05)
Lauren shares her priceless view on intersectionality (32:27)
Lauren's list of 9 essential items to be an advocate for the LGBTQ community (44:07)

Resources:

Lauren N. Nile website
Book: Lauren N. Nile - RACE: My Story & Humanity's Bottom Line
The Faith of Humanity Podcast with Lauren Nile
What I Want White People To Know And Do - Lauren N. Nile
Race And Racism: Going to the Core Workshop - Lauren N. Nile and Bridget Sampson
The Family Acceptance Project, San Francisco State University
Book: Isabel Wilkerson - The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration

Connect with Lauren:

Connect with Jackie and Bridget:

Previous Episode

Ava’s Coming Out Story and the Beautiful, Healed Relationship With Her Mother, Dr. Paria Hassouri

It had never occurred to Dr. Paria Hassouri that she didn’t know her child's gender. When her daughter Ava came out as transgender at 13, Paria didn’t believe her. Many years later, and with a better understanding of what it means to have a transgender child, Paria knows that gender is a spectrum that presents and evolves at different times.

Visiting us today is Dr. Paria Hassouri and her daughter Ava, to talk about their journey during Ava's transition. Paria is a pediatrician, a writer, and an activist. She recently published Found In Transition, a memoir where she tells her side of her daughter's transition story.

As an Iranian-American who spent some of her early years living in Iran, Paria knows how exhausting it is to be judged on sight, and that is one of the main reasons she advocates against transphobia.

In this episode, Paria and Ava generously shared their story - the bitter and the sweet parts of their love story. We talked about how they managed to rebuild trust in each other after Paria's first reactions of denial, anger, and grief. We also talked about how Ava has forgiven Paria and how Paria is working to forgive herself. Ava kindly shared some advice for transgender children and their parents.

Tune in, and listen to Paria and Ava's beautiful story of love, acceptance, growth, and forgiveness.

Some Questions We Ask:

Paria, can you give us a little summary of what it was like for you when Ava came out as transgender? (4:31)
What would your advice be, Ava, for parents of trans kids who might be where our parents were four years ago? What would you say to them? (11:07)
Part of your growing up was in Iran. How do you think that your struggle to fit in and find your place culturally here in the US impacted your feelings about Ava and her transition? (16:37)
I'm curious what your advice would be for trans kids, especially trans kids who are around your age when you came out, and how you would recommend they handle it (26:31)
Jackie knows people who are actually raising their kids with a non-gendered upbringing. Do you see that changing as a pediatrician? Or do you think we still have a pretty long way to go on that front? (33:54)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

Paria's reaction when Ava came out and how they transitioned to the place they are now (5:50)
The process of rebuilding trust between them (11:20)
What it meant to Ava to come out and not being accepted immediately (22:45)
Transgender people are beautiful. What Ava learned in her first encounters in Transforming Family (28:00)
Paria's final message on the relationship between a transgender kid and their mother (43:25)

Resources:

Paria Hassouri website
Book: Paria Hassouri - Found in Transition: A Mother's Evolution during Her Child's Gender Change

Connect with Jackie and Bridget:

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Next Episode

Mental Health Support for Transgender Youth with Aydin Olson-Kennedy

Going through his transition in a rural area of Northern California was tough and lonely for Aydin. Although he assumes there were other trans people in the area, he never got in touch with them. On the other hand, he would drive three and a half hours each way to see a gender specialist on weekends. These difficulties created a strong desire in him to increase accessibility to mental health services for transgender people, which he considers crucial. This marked the beginning of a journey of advocating for the transgender community and supporting them as a counselor, trainer, and educator.

Aydin Olson-Kennedy is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the former Executive Director of the Los Angeles Gender Center. In his practice, Aydin has been serving teenagers and adult transgender and nonbinary individuals and their families for over ten years. He is considered a national expert, and he has trained thousands of professionals and families in the US and is a dedicated volunteer professional for the Los Angeles based support group Transforming Family, which Bridget is a parent volunteer for.

In this episode, we had an enlightening conversation where Aydin shared his transition journey, and the difficulties he faced before and after coming out as a transgender man. We discussed important recommendations for how parents can support and communicate effectively with their transgender and nonbinary children. We explored misgendering people: why it happens and tips for parents, caregivers, and others to prevent it. Aydin also offered some poignant insights on the damage that can be caused by parents expressing their own distress with their kids, and much more.

Some Questions We Ask:

Often, you are doing a lot of work to convince cis people to accept trans people. What is that like for you on a personal level emotionally? (7:47)
What are some of the top things you can say to parents whose kids just came out as transgender? (17:50)
How would you say that the desire to have control over your kid plays into accepting their transition? (22:47)
How do you help people avoid misgendering? Because it can be so triggering and painful to be misgendered. (43:03)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

A bit of Aydin's journey into becoming a therapist for the LGBTQ community and an expert in the field (5:35)
Three things Aydin pays careful attention to in order to be sure he is not harming the parents or the transgender and nonbinary young people he serves (13:12)
Coming out is an invitation to people into a private space (19:09)
One of the main reasons why misgendering occurs (42:57)
The fear of some parents and caregivers about conversations about gender turning into the only topic of discussion (50:44)

Connect with Aydin: