102. Rediscovering Intimacy After the Nest Empties

05/17/25 • 40 min

As relationships evolve, the empty nest phase presents a pivotal moment for couples to rediscover each other beyond their parenting roles. In this insightful episode, Carolyn Sharp shares valuable insights from her new book, "Fire it Up: Four Secrets to Reigniting Intimacy and Joy in Your Relationship."

Join us as we explore how to reconnect and reignite passion when the kids leave home.

Highlights:

The three crucial elements for a healthy relationship: ignition (spark), kindling (communication), and oxygen (acceptance).
The power of curiosity for reconnection—asking better questions leads to deeper understanding.
Why couples often overlook communication and acceptance while trying to rekindle the spark.
The importance of defining your relationship purpose during major life transitions to create clarity and direction.

Key Takeaways:

Healthy relationships require intentional nurturing to avoid stagnation.
Balance in relationship conversations should be paired with enjoyable activities to strengthen bonds.
The assumption that "true love" doesn’t need effort is a myth; revitalizing a relationship takes work.
Creating a safe space for honest communication fosters authentic connections, even when romantic passion may have faded.

Carolyn Sharp Bio

Carolyn Sharp always knew she wanted a career in helping people. She earned a master of social work from Portland State University and has extensive training in attachment, neuroscience, trauma, and mindfulness. Today, she is an experienced couples therapist with twenty-five years of training and practice in helping people build vital, vibrant, and secure functioning relationships through one-on-one and group couples coaching, workshops, retreats, and intensives. She combines her passion for helping people with her widespread experience to create the healthiest and happiest relationships possible.

Find Carolyn Online: LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok

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Join us as we explore how to reconnect and reignite passion when the kids leave home.

Highlights:

The three crucial elements for a healthy relationship: ignition (spark), kindling (communication), and oxygen (acceptance).
The power of curiosity for reconnection—asking better questions leads to deeper understanding.
Why couples often overlook communication and acceptance while trying to rekindle the spark.
The importance of defining your relationship purpose during major life transitions to create clarity and direction.

Key Takeaways:

Healthy relationships require intentional nurturing to avoid stagnation.
Balance in relationship conversations should be paired with enjoyable activities to strengthen bonds.
The assumption that "true love" doesn’t need effort is a myth; revitalizing a relationship takes work.
Creating a safe space for honest communication fosters authentic connections, even when romantic passion may have faded.

Carolyn Sharp Bio

Find Carolyn Online: LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok

Support the show

FREE WORKBOOK
3 Steps to Loving Your Empty Nest Life

ENJOY THE SHOW?
Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or follow on Spotify and many more.

Previous Episode

101. Gray Divorce: Navigating Relationships After 50

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What happens to long-term relationships when the kids leave home? In this candid conversation, relationship coach Dr. Marie Murphy shares her insightful and judgment-free perspective on the growing phenomenon of gray divorce—the trend of couples separating after the age of 50.

With her PhD in sociology of sexuality, Dr. Murphy challenges conventional views on infidelity and relationship transitions. She emphasizes the importance of being honest with ourselves about what we truly want: “Do you want to reconnect, or do you just think you should want to reconnect?” This distinction lies at the heart of our discussion and leads to deeper explorations of relationship dynamics during midlife.

Highlights:

Understanding gray divorce: 40% of divorces now occur after age 50, often linked to infidelity.
The role of intentional curiosity in revitalizing relationships and fostering deeper connections.
The dilemma of feeling responsible for others' emotions and how it conflicts with cultural ideas of individualism.
Empowering thoughts that help you navigate your relationship choices without guilt or shame.

Key Takeaways:

Approaching infidelity with a non-judgmental mindset allows for clearer decision-making.
The sociology of sexuality focuses on understanding actual behaviors in relationships rather than adhering to societal norms.
Making relationship choices often involves balancing competing desires rather than straightforward right or wrong decisions.

Marie Murphy's Bio

Dr. Marie Murphy is a non-judgmental infidelity coach, and the host of the podcast Your Secret is Safe with Me. Much of the so-called advice out there for people who are engaging in infidelity is little more than thinly veiled judgment, but that's not what Marie provides. Marie offers guidance and support that respects the fullness of your humanity, and the complexity of your situation - no matter what you're doing in the infidelity department. To learn more about Marie and her coaching services, go to https://www.mariemurphyphd.com.

Find Marie Online: Instagram, Facebook

Support the show

FREE WORKBOOK
3 Steps to Loving Your Empty Nest Life

ENJOY THE SHOW?
Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or follow on Spotify and many more.

Next Episode

103. Walking the Way: Lessons from the Camino de Santiago

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What if your most profound life lessons could come from an unexpected journey? In this inspiring episode, I explore how my recent walk along the Camino de Santiago in Spain became a powerful metaphor for navigating the empty nest years—filled with surprises, deep connections, and personal growth.

Walking the Portuguese route with strangers from around the world pushed me beyond my comfort zone, revealing that the richest experiences often come from embracing detours rather than rushing to the finish line. When faced with a challenging climb, a simple question from a friend—"What’s the rush?"—became a guiding wisdom for embracing the present moment.

The true magic of the Camino was found in the connections formed along the way. Brief conversations with fellow pilgrims sparked feelings of transformation, and our nightly ritual of sharing a "crumb" (challenge) and "cookie" (joy) strengthened resilience and gratitude—key components proven to boost mental well-being during major transitions.

Through rain and sunshine, I discovered that each traveler brought unique "superpowers," from authenticity to embracing new experiences, inspiring me to pursue my dreams while savoring life's small moments. This journey taught me that necessary endings—like children leaving home or finishing a long walk—create space for new beginnings.

What’s your Camino? Whether it’s a new hobby, career change, or inner exploration, your next big adventure awaits. Take that first step—your most meaningful journey might be just around the corner.

When you're ready to craft a fulfilling new chapter, visit thisemptynestlife.com to learn how I can support you in designing a life full of purpose and joy.

Highlights & Key Takeaways:

Embrace detours over rushing — slowing down creates space for growth.
Deepen connections through shared vulnerability and gratitude practices.
Recognize the unique strengths ("superpowers") each person brings to your journey.
Mindfulness in everyday moments fuels profound self-discovery.
Necessary endings open doors for exciting new beginnings.

Join me on this journey of self-discovery, and maybe find your own Camino to fulfillment.

Support the show

FREE WORKBOOK
3 Steps to Loving Your Empty Nest Life

ENJOY THE SHOW?
Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or follow on Spotify and many more.

This Empty Nest Life - 102. Rediscovering Intimacy After the Nest Empties

Transcript

Speaker 100:00:00.119

You take the time to ask the question what do we want ? What is this relationship for ? And I recommend couples do this at any significant milestone in their relationship a new job , a move , having kids , kids reaching a certain age because we all are growing and changing all the time . We may not be growing and changing in intentional ways that are leading us in the direction