Don’t Go To Therapy For Someone Else’s Advice; Go To Find Your Own Answers

05/03/23 • 22 min

A common myth about therapy is that therapists offer their patients advice. This is actually something that therapists are not supposed to do, as it gives away your power to someone else. Therapists are not trained to be expert advice-givers or to dish out solutions to problems. Rather, therapists are trained to deeply listen and serve as a guide for you to explore within and discover your own answers. When seeking therapy, the goal is to build a trusting relationship not only with your therapist, but more importantly with yourself. This allows you to explore your own feelings, safely and with support so you can make decisions that are right for you. While it may be tempting to ask a therapist for advice, this actually goes against the objective of therapy. The ‘right’ answers and the solutions that are best for you come from finding that place within where you trust yourself and recognize that you are in control of your own life!

🙅‍♀️ Why therapists should NOT give advice. 01:26
🤯 The shock to the system for all therapists who start training: everybody wants advice! 02:37
👩‍🎓 Student therapist placement and supervision: when the urge to help, along with the client asking for advice, led to failure. 04:22
🤩 Why your clinical therapist won’t give you advice: what is the therapeutic relationship? 08:19
🎯 You are the expert of you - we help you realize that. 11:51
✨ When we ask for advice, we don’t build trust within ourselves. 14:14
🌸 Learning to trust yourself: self-care is a highly used word, but what matters is giving yourself the gift of trusting yourself. 15:30
✅ Blaming the therapist vs. revealing your inner knowing and finding the answer within. 17:20
⚡ Listening and reflecting in therapy: the answer will always come from within you. 19:32

Links:

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.bonniewims.com

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims: calendly.com/bonnie-96

Links:

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.bonniewims.com

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims: calendly.com/bonnie-96

Previous Episode

The Misunderstandings and Myths of Therapy

The media has misconstrued and sensationalized the truth about therapy for far too long.

The stigmas created by the media’s representation of “crazy people” has tainted its reputation, which prevents many people from getting the help they need.

Therapy is just a form of self-care that focuses on our mental health rather than our physical health and is just as mundane as going to a dentist or a gym. You don’t have to be considered “ill” to pursue therapy, it is a tool that is meant to help people who are struggling with any obstacles in their lives.

If you are experiencing any challenges stopping you from moving forward in life, consider speaking to a therapist!

✨ Therapy is still shrouded in secrecy and silence and that causes a lot of stigma. 01:28
1️⃣ A story about tinfoil hats: therapists don’t try to read people’s minds. 03:18
2️⃣ “Only crazy people have therapists” is a very bad misperception that the media perpetuates. 07:34
3️⃣ “Talking to a therapist means you are broken.” - Vulnerability is the greatest measure of courage. 10:45
4️⃣ Our behavior comes from our thoughts: Dr. Bonnie’s personal story on trauma. 13:55
🍷 “I can handle my problems myself, I’m not on my knees”: coping mechanisms can help to some extent. 17:42
💸 “I can’t afford it”: there is a solution to that. 18:53
💡 “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” 20:06

Links:

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.bonniewims.com

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims: calendly.com/bonnie-96

Next Episode

What is Really Therapeutic?

Calming activities are not a replacement for real therapy. Activities like “goat yoga” can offer a relaxing and decompressing experience that can help manage stress, but calling them therapeutic is a mistake. If you are suffering from trauma that is negatively impacting your sense of self and your ability to cope, it may be best for you to seek out genuine therapeutic help to overcome those struggles. Therapy is not a quick fix, so start the journey as early as you can, so you can learn to understand yourself and enjoy the benefits of a life with positive mental health. It’s never too late to ‘think about our thinking’ and integrate our joy with the understanding of our trauma from the past. Goat & puppy yoga may be cute and calming, but if you are struggling with anxiety, depression, or a skewed sense of self, consider speaking to a therapist today.

🐐 Goat yoga is not therapeutic in the real sense of the word. 01:50
🥺 Four of Bonnie’s older siblings left home because of their abusive father: why running away from home at age 15 was the only choice. 03:07
🤯 Bonnie survived trauma: reconstructing life in school, relationships, and work. 10:55
👱‍♀️ Mood swings and anxiety: looking back - if Bonnie had therapy at a younger age, it would have helped her tremendously. 13:08
🧒 Children blame themselves for abuse: self-blame that tangles with fear and affects all relationships. 14:05
🥃 Alcoholism is not the excuse for horrible behavior: PTSD is real for non-military people, too. 16:22
👉 Trauma response is real: Bonnie’s triggers and how they impacted her choices. 18:08
✨ Understanding and connection to oneself can deepen through therapy. 21:17
🎯 What proper therapy with a therapist can provide you. 22:06

Links:

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.bonniewims.com

Book:https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims:calendly.com/bonnie-96