When Cuckolding Turns Dark: The Danger of Turning Fantasy Into Reality
Explicit content warning
03/29/25 • 69 min
2 Listeners
Trigger Warning: This episode discusses suicide.
Venus delves into the rarely discussed emotional aftermath of cuckolding through an unflinchingly honest conversation with John, who shares his journey from fantasy to reality – and the mental health crisis that followed.
After 20+ years of marriage, John finally revealed his deepest desire to his wife, setting them on a path neither fully anticipated. While many discussions about cuckolding focus on the erotic thrill, John describes his first real experience with brutal candor: "Fear, nausea... genuinely, just what have I done? Why have I done this to myself? It was horrifying." The raw vulnerability as he recounts coming home and breaking down in tears provides crucial perspective for anyone considering this lifestyle.
What makes John's testimony particularly valuable is the paradoxical psychology he unveils. Despite experiencing severe depression that eventually led to suicidal thoughts, he never wanted to stop – and often desired to escalate their activities. "The most warped thing about all this is that at the absolute lowest points, I wanted to continue," he explains, illuminating how the emotional struggle itself becomes intertwined with the arousal. This emotional complexity extends to feelings of sexual irrelevance that many cuckolds face: "Once your wife gets a bull that's really good at fucking her, you realize that you're not sexually valid in the same way anymore."
Through communication with his wife and developing healthier boundaries, John eventually found balance. His story serves as both caution and guidance for curious couples, highlighting the crucial importance of mental health support when exploring intense kinks. "You don't know how you're going to feel until you do it," he warns, pushing back against the "cheerleading" common in online communities.
Cuckolding-Friendly Counselors and Therapists:
American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists
National Coalition for Sexual Freedoms - Kink Aware Professionals Directory
Joymode: GREAT SEX SOLVED, NATURALLY
Use Code VENUS for 20% off your first order at tryjoymode.com/venus
🚀 Support your erection quality
💪 Perform with confidence
❤️xoafterglow.com❤️ Meet the platform for ethical porn. Made by women, for women (and everyone). We make and share videos that portray sex accurately and treat performers with dignity, because nothing is sexier than consent. Use code VENUS for a free 7 day trial at ➡️ https://afterglow.ubpages.com/venus/
❤️Venus Connections❤️ - Matchmaking for loving cuckolding relationships and female-led relationships. Learn more at https://www.venusconnections.com/
👑♠️ Maison De Neige is high end lifestyle and streetwear fashion with a passion for the beauty of interracial combined with high fashion. Visit https://www.maisondeneige.com/
Destination Links for Venus - https://linktr.ee/venuscuckoldress
Trigger Warning: This episode discusses suicide.
Venus delves into the rarely discussed emotional aftermath of cuckolding through an unflinchingly honest conversation with John, who shares his journey from fantasy to reality – and the mental health crisis that followed.
After 20+ years of marriage, John finally revealed his deepest desire to his wife, setting them on a path neither fully anticipated. While many discussions about cuckolding focus on the erotic thrill, John describes his first real experience with brutal candor: "Fear, nausea... genuinely, just what have I done? Why have I done this to myself? It was horrifying." The raw vulnerability as he recounts coming home and breaking down in tears provides crucial perspective for anyone considering this lifestyle.
What makes John's testimony particularly valuable is the paradoxical psychology he unveils. Despite experiencing severe depression that eventually led to suicidal thoughts, he never wanted to stop – and often desired to escalate their activities. "The most warped thing about all this is that at the absolute lowest points, I wanted to continue," he explains, illuminating how the emotional struggle itself becomes intertwined with the arousal. This emotional complexity extends to feelings of sexual irrelevance that many cuckolds face: "Once your wife gets a bull that's really good at fucking her, you realize that you're not sexually valid in the same way anymore."
Through communication with his wife and developing healthier boundaries, John eventually found balance. His story serves as both caution and guidance for curious couples, highlighting the crucial importance of mental health support when exploring intense kinks. "You don't know how you're going to feel until you do it," he warns, pushing back against the "cheerleading" common in online communities.
Cuckolding-Friendly Counselors and Therapists:
American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists
National Coalition for Sexual Freedoms - Kink Aware Professionals Directory
Joymode: GREAT SEX SOLVED, NATURALLY
Use Code VENUS for 20% off your first order at tryjoymode.com/venus
🚀 Support your erection quality
💪 Perform with confidence
❤️xoafterglow.com❤️ Meet the platform for ethical porn. Made by women, for women (and everyone). We make and share videos that portray sex accurately and treat performers with dignity, because nothing is sexier than consent. Use code VENUS for a free 7 day trial at ➡️ https://afterglow.ubpages.com/venus/
❤️Venus Connections❤️ - Matchmaking for loving cuckolding relationships and female-led relationships. Learn more at https://www.venusconnections.com/
👑♠️ Maison De Neige is high end lifestyle and streetwear fashion with a passion for the beauty of interracial combined with high fashion. Visit https://www.maisondeneige.com/
Destination Links for Venus - https://linktr.ee/venuscuckoldress
Previous Episode
Venus's Top 5 Most Mind-Blowing Cuckolding Lessons
The Venus Cuckoldress podcast celebrates five years with a special compilation of the most profound, mind-shifting moments that have transformed understanding of cuckolding relationships.
• Key Barrett explains the concept of "unfiltering" in female-led relationships, breaking down how women are taught to filter their responses and how shedding this brings clarity to relationships
• Crystal Welch characterizes cuckolds as "higher life forms" who have evolved beyond toxic masculinity through personal growth work
• Dr. Justin Lehmiller's research reveals men with cuckolding fantasies have higher self-esteem and self-confidence than typically assumed
• Dr. David Ley explains how sexual shame creates self-defeating behaviors in men with cuckolding desires, including the common pattern of intense interest followed by ghosting
• Ella breaks down how patriarchal systems create a skills deficit in men's emotional intelligence, explaining why many struggle with the "varsity level" communication needed for ethical non-monogamy
Links
Key Barrett: https://bsky.app/profile/keybarrett.bsky.social - books https://a.co/d/4PNQSHp episode - https://www.buzzsprout.com/822292/episodes/14336219-flr-surrender-submit-and-serve-her-with-key-barrett-m-sc
Dr. Justin Lehmiller: https://www.sexandpsychology.com/ - books https://a.co/d/4gvABX0 episode https://www.buzzsprout.com/822292/episodes/14336195-what-do-your-cuckolding-fantasies-say-about-you-with-special-guest-dr-justin-lehmiller
Dr. David Ley: https://bsky.app/profile/davidleyphd.bsky.social books https://a.co/d/gjjwtdO episode - https://www.buzzsprout.com/822292/episodes/14336246-unraveling-the-cuck-shame-spiral-with-dr-david-ley
Crystal Welch: https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/cw episode https://www.buzzsprout.com/822292/episodes/14336214-a-bold-message-to-the-women-of-the-world-you-really-can-have-i
❤️xoafterglow.com❤️ Meet the platform for ethical porn. Made by women, for women (and everyone). We make and share videos that portray sex accurately and treat performers with dignity, because nothing is sexier than consent. Use code VENUS for a free 7 day trial at ➡️ https://afterglow.ubpages.com/venus/
❤️Venus Connections❤️ - Matchmaking for loving cuckolding relationships and female-led relationships. Learn more at https://www.venusconnections.com/
👑♠️ Maison De Neige is high end lifestyle and streetwear fashion with a passion for the beauty of interracial combined with high fashion. Visit https://www.maisondeneige.com/
Destination Links for Venus - https://linktr.ee/venuscuckoldress
Next Episode
The Hottest Real Life Cuckolding Stories!
Becca and Drew share their 29-year journey from teenage sweethearts to a cuckolding couple, revealing how they've maintained a passionate relationship by embracing sexual exploration and open communication.
• Met as teenagers and knew early on they were into "more than just vanilla sex"
• Discovered their interest in cuckolding after a teenage incident where Drew was aroused by seeing hickeys another man had left on Becca
• Experienced their first spontaneous cuckolding encounter in a Jeep parking lot with friends watching outside
• Met their most memorable bull online who understood the psychology of everyone's roles and set a high standard
• Learning to overcome shame and judgment from others while strengthening their relationship
• Being in the lifestyle has made them both better lovers to each other
• Communication and aftercare are essential to their success
• Advice for women: do self-work to destroy societal conditioning about female sexuality
Join the Queens Quarters community on venuscuckoldress.com for a free live Q&A session on May 13th at 1pm Pacific/4pm Eastern time.
Joymode: GREAT SEX SOLVED, NATURALLY
Use Code VENUS for 20% off your first order at tryjoymode.com/venus
🚀 Support your erection quality
💪 Perform with confidence
❤️xoafterglow.com❤️ Meet the platform for ethical porn. Made by women, for women (and everyone). We make and share videos that portray sex accurately and treat performers with dignity, because nothing is sexier than consent. Use code VENUS for a free 7 day trial at ➡️ https://afterglow.ubpages.com/venus/
❤️Venus Connections❤️ - Matchmaking for loving cuckolding relationships and female-led relationships. Learn more at https://www.venusconnections.com/
👑♠️ Maison De Neige is high end lifestyle and streetwear fashion with a passion for the beauty of interracial combined with high fashion. Visit https://www.maisondeneige.com/
Destination Links for Venus - https://linktr.ee/venuscuckoldress
The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast - When Cuckolding Turns Dark: The Danger of Turning Fantasy Into Reality
Transcript
Here's what's coming up on the show .
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