Let's Talk About Shame, Baby
Explicit content warning
11/26/21 • 15 min
Shame is actually a really big part of codependency. If you are codependent, shame and guilt are confusing to tease out. You can't really tell the difference between them. I talk about my own confusion with this when I was healing as well.
The sneaky little trick of shame is that it makes you think you are at fault, and will be rejected if you share the burdens you feel shame about with others. But shame actually gets lighter when you share about those related experiences with healthy people who will support you. It's a little liar.
It's important to clarify that you're sharing about these things with healthy people. Those who would throw you under the bus are probably part of what created shame in you, and should not be trusted to support you out of it. Don't share with those people; it won't help.
Today's episode is also actually me sharing a small portion from a previous event. This was the finale event to the Crush Your Codependence Masterclass. It was only for those who registered for that event. I did a 10 minute presentation, and here it is!
Contact Me or Consume My Stuff Here:
Healing Ceremony - *NEW* Happening the end of every month. We'll be doing energy work, meditations and journaling to guide to you--you guessed it--healing!
$25 USD
Happening November 29, 2021 at 5-6:30 pm pacific
>>>>>>>Register Here<<<<<<< https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18953727&appointmentType=27943751
For registration links for non-November 2021 months (if you're listening to this in the magical future), check my Instagram bio or the most recent podcast episode.
A Less-Codependent Holiday Workshop -*NEW* Helping you manage all the expectations of the Holidays that can make a People Pleaser's Brain Explode with Obligations! You will receive The Codependent's Holiday Workbook, and we'll go through how to clarify your wants and clarify the realities of time.
$25 USDDecember 1, 2021 at 5-6:30 pm pacific
>>>>>>>Register Here<<<<<<< https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18953727&appointmentType=28078038
Sign up for my Transforming Your Codependency Text messages! I can be in your texts messages every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I’ll be giving advice, loving reminders and information to help you love yourself and heal that codependency NOW.
Sign up by texting the word PEACE to 877-338-0875 or visit this web site: https://slkt.io/xlBe
I've got 3 (three) 1:1 Coaching Spots open, DM me on instagram or email me below to learn more and get a Curiosity Call! There is no obligation, and it never hurts to learn your options, right?
Website: Soulamplified.org
Instagram: @SoulAmplified
e-mail: [email protected]
Shame is actually a really big part of codependency. If you are codependent, shame and guilt are confusing to tease out. You can't really tell the difference between them. I talk about my own confusion with this when I was healing as well.
The sneaky little trick of shame is that it makes you think you are at fault, and will be rejected if you share the burdens you feel shame about with others. But shame actually gets lighter when you share about those related experiences with healthy people who will support you. It's a little liar.
It's important to clarify that you're sharing about these things with healthy people. Those who would throw you under the bus are probably part of what created shame in you, and should not be trusted to support you out of it. Don't share with those people; it won't help.
Today's episode is also actually me sharing a small portion from a previous event. This was the finale event to the Crush Your Codependence Masterclass. It was only for those who registered for that event. I did a 10 minute presentation, and here it is!
Contact Me or Consume My Stuff Here:
Healing Ceremony - *NEW* Happening the end of every month. We'll be doing energy work, meditations and journaling to guide to you--you guessed it--healing!
$25 USD
Happening November 29, 2021 at 5-6:30 pm pacific
>>>>>>>Register Here<<<<<<< https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18953727&appointmentType=27943751
For registration links for non-November 2021 months (if you're listening to this in the magical future), check my Instagram bio or the most recent podcast episode.
A Less-Codependent Holiday Workshop -*NEW* Helping you manage all the expectations of the Holidays that can make a People Pleaser's Brain Explode with Obligations! You will receive The Codependent's Holiday Workbook, and we'll go through how to clarify your wants and clarify the realities of time.
$25 USDDecember 1, 2021 at 5-6:30 pm pacific
>>>>>>>Register Here<<<<<<< https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18953727&appointmentType=28078038
Sign up for my Transforming Your Codependency Text messages! I can be in your texts messages every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I’ll be giving advice, loving reminders and information to help you love yourself and heal that codependency NOW.
Sign up by texting the word PEACE to 877-338-0875 or visit this web site: https://slkt.io/xlBe
I've got 3 (three) 1:1 Coaching Spots open, DM me on instagram or email me below to learn more and get a Curiosity Call! There is no obligation, and it never hurts to learn your options, right?
Website: Soulamplified.org
Instagram: @SoulAmplified
e-mail: [email protected]
Previous Episode
How to Do the 'Active Listening' Thing
Communication is a big deal babe, and many times we don't even know how we're falling short at it. There are lots of moving parts, so I'm gonna help a sister out today and break down one part of good communication: Active Listening.
First off, it's not about you. It's about the other person. You are focused on hearing them and understanding them. Have body language that focuses on hearing them. This means eye contact baby!
Don't listen to discover what you're going to say next--listen to understand the situation and how they are feeling! Then, paraphrase to make sure you got it right! Maybe you didn't, and thats okay. They'll fill in the bits you missed.
Active Listening doesn't have to involve giving solutions, either. I recommend you ask early in the conversation if they want support and listening OR solutions OR both. Then you know what you're doing, and not doing!
Contact Me or Consume My Stuff Here:
Healing Ceremony - *NEW* Happening the end of every month. We'll be doing energy work, meditations and journaling to guide to you--you guessed it--healing!
$25 USD
Happening November 29, 2021 5-6:30 pm pacific
>>>>>>>Register Here<<<<<<< https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18953727&appointmentType=27943751
For registration links for non-November 2021 months (if you're listening to this in the magical future), check my Instagram bio or the most recent podcast episode.
A Less-Codependent Holiday Workshop -*NEW* Helping you manage all the expectations of the Holidays that can make a People Pleaser's Brain Explode with Obligations! You will receive The Codependent's Holiday Workbook, and we'll go through how to clarify your wants and clarify the realities of time.
$25 USDDecember 1, 2021 5-6:30 pm pacific
>>>>>>>Register Here<<<<<<< https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18953727&appointmentType=28078038
Sign up for my Transforming Your Codependency Text messages! I can be in your texts messages every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I’ll be giving advice, loving reminders and information to help you love yourself and heal that codependency NOW.
Sign up by texting the word PEACE to 877-338-0875 or visit this web site: https://slkt.io/xlBe
I've got 3 (three) 1:1 Coaching Spots open, DM me on instagram or email me below to learn more and get a Curiosity Call! There is no obligation, and it never hurts to learn your options, right?
Website: Soulamplified.org
Instagram: @SoulAmplified
e-mail: [email protected]
Next Episode
Variable Energy, Society's Expectations and the Feminine Cycle
We all have more energy on some days than others. But we're often given messages the make us feel like we have to produce at an optimal level every day. This messaging can be internalized, resulting in negative self talk for being lazy, useless and much nastier inner thoughts.
Let's just put this out there: It's okay to have different amounts of energy on different days. It's actually pretty normal. That's exactly what I break down today.
You may be effected by sleep, how much fun you're having, health conditions, if you're an empath or not, if you are responding with codependent patterns to situations around you, your menstrual cycle and MORE. With this short list I've given, is it any wonder that you have different energy levels on any given day?
The Books I mention during this episode are:
In the Flo by Alisa Vitti (this book has more science than the ones below)
Code Red by Lisa Lister (Lisa's books have more spirituality than the one above)
Love Your Lady Landscape by Lisa Lister
Contact Me or Consume My Stuff Here:
A Less-Codependent Holiday Workshop -*TODAY* Helping you manage all the expectations of the Holidays that can make a People Pleaser's Brain Explode with Obligations! You will receive The Codependent's Holiday Workbook, and we'll go through how to clarify your wants and clarify the realities of time.
$25 USDDecember 1, 2021 at 5-6:30 pm pacific
>>>>>>>Register Here<<<<<<< https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18953727&appointmentType=28078038
Sign up for my Transforming Your Codependency Text messages! I can be in your texts messages every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I’ll be giving advice, loving reminders and information to help you love yourself and heal that codependency NOW.
Sign up by texting the word PEACE to 877-338-0875 or visit this web site: https://slkt.io/xlBe
I've got 3 (three) 1:1 Coaching Spots open, DM me on instagram or email me below to learn more and get a Curiosity Call! There is no obligation, and it never hurts to learn your options, right?
Website: Soulamplified.org
Instagram: @SoulAmplified
e-mail: [email protected]
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