#12: Distraction & Self-Soothing to Ride out Painful Emotions

09/04/19 • 40 min

Marielle and Ed continue their conversation about Distress Tolerance focusing on Distraction and Self-Soothing. While these skills won’t solve any problems, they can be super helpful when you are caught up in painful emotions.

Distraction in DBT is broken down into separate skills that go by the acronym ACCEPTS (as in Wise Mind ACCEPTS).

Show Highlights:

Choosing distraction is very different than unconsciously avoiding
Sometimes it’s wise to not fully experience your emotions
These skills can be used when you have a strong urge to fix a problem immediately
You can also use these skills when you feel an urge to engage in a behavior you are trying to stop
A - Activities
C - Contributing
C - Comparisons
E - Emotions
P - Pushing Away
T - Thoughts
S - Sensations
Different activities redirect your attention to something else - away from the painful emotion
Figuring out what activities hold your attention when you’re upset
Contributing can have a secondary benefit of creating a sense of purpose or meaning in your life.
Comparing our pain to others can put our pain in perspective
Comparing your current situation to other hard times in your life can help you feel like you can get through
To use emotions to distract, first figure out what you are feeling and then do something that evokes a different emotion
Pushing away is shutting out or blocking your painful emotion
Self-Soothing with your five senses: sight, sound, taste, touch and smell

Resources:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition

SUDs (Subjective Units of Distress) Scale

Ask Us a Question!

We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here.

Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Distraction in DBT is broken down into separate skills that go by the acronym ACCEPTS (as in Wise Mind ACCEPTS).

Show Highlights:

Choosing distraction is very different than unconsciously avoiding
Sometimes it’s wise to not fully experience your emotions
These skills can be used when you have a strong urge to fix a problem immediately
You can also use these skills when you feel an urge to engage in a behavior you are trying to stop
A - Activities
C - Contributing
C - Comparisons
E - Emotions
P - Pushing Away
T - Thoughts
S - Sensations
Different activities redirect your attention to something else - away from the painful emotion
Figuring out what activities hold your attention when you’re upset
Contributing can have a secondary benefit of creating a sense of purpose or meaning in your life.
Comparing our pain to others can put our pain in perspective
Comparing your current situation to other hard times in your life can help you feel like you can get through
To use emotions to distract, first figure out what you are feeling and then do something that evokes a different emotion
Pushing away is shutting out or blocking your painful emotion
Self-Soothing with your five senses: sight, sound, taste, touch and smell

Resources:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition

SUDs (Subjective Units of Distress) Scale

Ask Us a Question!

We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here.

Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Previous Episode

#11: Radical Acceptance

Today, Marielle and Ed discuss the skill of Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance is a Distress Tolerance skill that helps you stop fighting reality, however painful that reality is. When you can fully open up and radically accept what is happening in the present moment, suffering decreases.

Show Highlights:

Getting too focused on change can sometimes backfire
Radical acceptance is not against change
Radical acceptance is different than plain old acceptance
Our instinct is often to fight painful things that are happening
Radical acceptance is not negating a sense of justice or fairness
Denial of reality can keep us from taking steps towards change
Acceptance does not equal approval
Accepting painful things can be a process
The first step in moving forward from painful things is accepting that they did happen
Sadness often comes up when we radically accept
Pain is a part of life for everyone - it can’t be avoided
It’s a fallacy to think that if you accept things you don’t like about yourself you won’t change
Radical acceptance doesn’t mean we don’t have preferences
We need to radically accept the past
If you are practicing Radical Acceptance of something in the future make sure you are only accepting known limitations
Willing Hands is a skill that can help you Radically Accept
To practice Willing Hands, turn your palms towards the sky and relax your arms
When we fight reality, we are often holding a lot of tension in our bodies

Links & Resources

www.bayareadbtcc.com

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition

Ask Us a Question!

We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here.

Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Next Episode

#13: 10 Common Myths About Emotions

Today Marielle and Ed discuss the 10 most common myths about emotions. These myths can come from the culture around us and from the families we were raised in. Asking yourself where you learned some of these myths may be helpful in debunking them. Some myths have to do with a fear of being out of control with emotions and other myths are more about equating emotions with the truth of who you are.

Show Highlights:

Myth 1: Having strong emotions means I am out of control.

Feeling the emotion and the behavior get conflated
It can feel like strong emotion automatically equals out of control behavior
Intense emotion can be very physical
Taking action on our strong emotion makes it feel out of control

Myth 2: If I start crying, I’m never gonna stop.

We always start crying, often sooner than we think
Under all circumstances, we do eventually stop crying

Myth 3: I need to push down my anger or it will become dangerous.

Anger also has a life-span, if we let it move through us it will dissipate
We can feel angry and not act on it in a dangerous way
We have a lot of power over how to handle our own anger

Myth 4: If I am feeling very emotional, I must do something to change it.

Emotions give us information
We don’t necessarily need to change emotions

Myth 5: Reason is better than emotion.

Another way of stating this myth is: it’s always better to be rational than emotional
Sometimes it sounds appealing to not have emotions
Emotions connect us to others

Myth 6: Emotions can just happen for no reason.

Emotions are a response to something even if we don’t know what that is
If you’re having a strong emotional response, it’s a signal to do a little exploring

Myth 7: I am my emotions.

We are so much more than our emotions
It’s not uncommon to feel more than one emotion at once
If you are basing your identity on your emotions, it will be hard to have a stable sense of self because our emotions are in continual flux

Myth 8: It’s inauthentic to try to change or question my emotions.

Sometimes it’s not effective to feel or act on an emotion
Sometimes our emotions are not aligned with our goals or values so the most authentic thing to do is to work to change it
Our emotions don’t always fit the facts

Myth 9: My emotions speak the absolute truth.

Sometimes our strong emotions are based on interpretations or assumptions rather than actual facts
Just because you feel something doesn’t mean it’s true

Myth 10: I need to be very emotional to be creative.

Emotions help support creativity but we don’t have to be overwhelmed by emotions to be creative

Ask Us a Question!

We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here.

Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.