Why I STILL Believe In Marriage

05/23/19 • 24 min

I suppose I have seen marriages in pretty tough spots. Destructive and hurting, I've watched relationships both heal and end. I've also had the privilege of seeing some pretty amazing marriages. So, when I was asked by a client a few days ago, "After all this time, do you really still believe in marriage?", I paused. Not because I wasn't sure about my answer. I just wanted to be clear about my answer. Somewhat flippantly, I replied, "Believe in it? I've seen it! I'm even in one!" But more deeply, that question triggered me. Yes, of course I still believe in marriage. I work with hurting marriages every day. I coach, teach, and even push people toward better relationships, healthier marriages. Still, that question.... WHY do I believe in marriage? Because the problem is not with marriage. It's with how we do it. Culture certainly needs to act to help with people who are getting married... so that people are better prepared. But guess what? YOU can act to improve your marriage.... That makes all the difference, as we work to save and improve marriages one relationship at a time. Listen to the podcast episode below. RELATED RESOURCES Nature of Marriage Thriving Marriage Series My Mission My Save The Marriage System

Previous Episode

Is Your Marriage Fragile or Anti-Fragile?

Some marriages seem so fragile, ready to break at any time. Many times, people work hard to protect that type of marriage. It seems that anything can be the end of it! That fragility is not baked into the marriage. It comes from a mindset, a misunderstanding. It comes from thinking that a successful marriage simply has no struggles, no difficulties. Not true. In fact, successful marriages take on the challenges as an opportunity for growth. That is one of the hallmarks of thriving marriages. Not just marriages that are surviving. But ones that are thriving. Over the years, I noticed that the thriving marriages had often been through their share of bumps and bruises, struggles and strife. But they had learned from the struggles. They had found ways to come together, to stand together, in the face of the difficult times. Those marriages that struggled? They moved from the team-approach to the me-approach: "what am I getting?," "why should I take this?," "I want my fair share." And in the process, the relationship (the "team") got pushed aside. It was all "me, me, me, you, you, you." Not "WE." In today's Save The Marriage Podcast, I use the term from business, Anti-Fragile, to describe what you are moving toward... and how to begin that shift. Listen in to discover how you can shift from Fragile to Anti-Fragile. RELATED RESOURCES Dealing With Difficult Times Being A WE Being A Team Using Conflict To Grow Save The Marriage System Relationship Rewrite

Next Episode

The Path To Peaceful Conversation

How do you make a shift, from painful communication to peaceful conversation? What if you have something difficult to discuss with your partner? How do you start? What do you do? What path do you follow? My guest on the Save The Marriage Podcast, is Susan Allan. After talking her way out of a very dangerous situation with her ex-spouse, Susan set out to discover better ways of communication in difficult relationships. Susan created the 6 Part Conversation Process in her attempt to help others communicate better. Over the years, Susan has used this process (and taught this process) to thousands of individuals and couples. In my interview, we cover the first 2 parts of the process (for the full process, find the entire interview at Relationship Rewrite). The first 2 foundational parts set the scene for a conversation that can be had and heard... that may just get you to a different place in your relationship. Listen to the podcast below. RELATED RESOURCES It Isn't Just Communication But There ARE Communication Issues Susan Allan's Website Relationship Rewrite Save The Marriage System