The Save The Marriage Podcast

Since my book, Thrive Principles, came out, people have asked me why I shifted my focus from saving marriages to thriving. In reality, there is no shift. My System on saving a marriage is the same path to having a thriving marriage. In fact, my focus from the beginning was on how to have a thriving life in all areas of living -- including in marriage. Which means that there are many cross-over points between how we thrive and how we save a marriage. In this week's Save The Marriage Podcast, I discuss three anchors of Thrive Principles that can help you address the issues in your marriage. These three principles can help you save your marriage. Just remember the acronym, ARC. Acceptance Responsibility Control Use these three principles as you work to save your marriage. RELATED RESOURCE: Control Responsibility Thrive Principles Save The Marriage System

In previous podcast episodes, I have answered questions submitted by listeners. In fact, I still do. You can email your questions by clicking here. But since this podcast goes to listeners around the world, submitted questions need to be a) applicable to others, and b) not so broad that it is impossible to answer in a simple episode. But then, there are the short questions. Both in the question and the needed response. So, in this episode, I round up the short questions, so I can address them all. All of them, though, started with this: “I want to save my marriage!" Most of the questions demonstrated the beginning point of learning... not even knowing the question to ask, but knowing what you want. The senders knew they wanted to save their marriage, but weren’t sure even where to start and what to ask. But here is the important thing: the questions still apply to you, whether you are at the same point or further along. Listen in to hear my response to questions like where to start, what about some tricks/hints, what to do if a spouse isn’t interested, what a plan might look like, how long this process might help, and what to do now. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES Can A Marriage Be Saved? Why You Need a Plan Why Your Spouse is Resisting How Long Does a Crisis Last? Why Fear is a Problem Grab the Save The Marriage System HERE

I wish this only happened every now and then. Imagine, for a second, that someone is working on saving their marriage. In this case, they have chosen to use my System. And they are making progress! (Yay!) Then... they decide to do something else... add something on... try to "spice up" their approach. And suddenly, their efforts fall apart. The other day, I was talking with someone who falls into this approach. Making great progress using my material. Then losing all progress when they added on some more "save your marriage" stuff they found on the internet. "I guess your approach doesn't work," this person said. I pointed out that my approach was, in fact, working... until they stopped using it and went with pretty much the exact opposite of what I recommend. No surprise, but their spouse was confused. And this person said, "I don't get it! It was supposed to save my marriage!" I asked, "Did you 'look under the hood' to see what was behind that approach? Did you wonder if it is compatible with what you were already doing?" I knew the answer before I asked, and I could tell I was correct from the confused "umm... I... well... uh... what do you mean?" that I heard back. Let me be the first to say, there is some great information out there on saving your marriage. And there is also a lot of steaming piles of 💩 out there! But when someone is desperate to save their marriage, it is sometimes tempting to jump onto some "great idea" out there. But that isn't a great approach... if you want to be successful. You have to manage that mess... or "Gatekeep" what is coming your way. And that is what we talk about on this week's episode. I discuss what works and what doesn't, how to distinguish between them, and how to gatekeep yourself, so that you save your marriage! Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES: My Approach My Books My System

“I’m just out of energy,” she told me, “I don’t think I can even try to save my marriage. Besides, what is the point?" Let’s face it: right now, many people are feeling exhausted and drained. And working to save a marriage can be tiring when the world is rightside-up. Much less when everything feels upside down! Many people feel pulled in so many questions... but when something is important... as important as marriage... why does it get shifted down? Relegated to the “left over energy,” if there is any? There are some underlying reasons why it may feel like there is no more energy... and it isn’t really about not having energy. More importantly, there are some things you can do to do an “energy reset.” Make a shift... then save your marriage. I cover the underlying issues and the way to solve them in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES Self-Care Series Dealing with Fear Having a Plan Simplify your Efforts Save The Marriage System

Have you ever been sucked into a situation or argument, then realized your actions were not what you wanted? There is that split second, that pause, where you get to choose your response. Many people miss that split second, telling themselves, "I had no choice. I was just reacting." But deep down, we know that is not the case. We have a choice on how to respond. If you miss that choice, you will regret the reaction. How do you choose? Let's talk about that in this week's podcast. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES Be On The Same Team Argument Fails Your Fail Points The Save The Marriage System