5. Leaving an abusive relationship

12/25/23 • 18 min

My voice may crack a bit today, after an intense week of coaching sessions has left its mark, but the message I'm about to share transcends any hoarseness.
We're addressing the heart-wrenching process of contemplating separation or divorce, especially when the specter of abuse looms large and the stakes are immeasurably high. It's a journey fraught with emotional complexity, requiring not just careful consideration but, at times, meticulous planning for those in situations of manipulation and control.
This episode brings to light the harsh realities for those considering the tough decision to leave an abusive relationship, as well as unpacks the deceptive facade that can arise within couples counseling in such contexts.
I'm not just talking about the steps to recognise and escape an abusive dynamic, I'm providing an anchor—a community of support for those who feel isolated in their struggles. This conversation is a testament to the strength and resilience required on the path to safety and healing.

I'm a specialist Separation, Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.
I support women to strategically navigate ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and to optimise their outcome for themselves and their children.
Part of my specialist coaching includes helping women to optimise their court outcomes, particularly parenting arrangements. If you are navigating the court system with a controlling former partner, or suspect that you might in the future, I can help.

To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit:
https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au
For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-you
For more information about separation planning (including a checklist):
https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanning
Follow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching
MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):
1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

Lifeline: 13 11 14

13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Lifeline: 13 11 14

13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Previous Episode

4. Christmas chaos

Post-separation abuse and chaos at Christmas go hand in hand!
So what is it about Christmas, and other special holidays, that seem to bring out the worst in high-conflict abusers?
d
Join me on this episode as we discuss the chaos that controlling and abusive people attempt to create during the festive season.

Lifeline: 13 11 14

13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Next Episode

6. Unmasking D.A.R.V.O: Understanding how abusers distort reality

Have you ever felt bewildered by the shifting dynamics in a relationship, where suddenly you're the one being blamed?
This latest episode is a stark revelation of the DARVO tactic—Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender—used by abusers to evade responsibility and attack your reality.
We uncover the chilling strategies abusers use to distort reality, assaulting their victim's character to protect their own fragile self-worth.
This conversation is a must-hear, offering insights into the manipulative playbook that underpins abusive relationships.
Navigating the treacherous waters of psychological manipulation can leave victims disoriented and isolated. In this episode, we expose how abusers not only deny their victims' experiences but launch a counteroffensive aimed at reversing roles, painting themselves as the aggrieved party. The impact on victims' credibility and support systems can be devastating. This episode peels back the layers of these abusive dynamics, providing clarity and validation for anyone who has faced such bewildering and harmful treatment. Join me, Danielle Black, to unearth the unsettling truths of DARVO and bolster your understanding of these complex interpersonal battles.

Lifeline: 13 11 14

13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast - 5. Leaving an abusive relationship

Transcript

Speaker 100:00:34.280

Hello , let's talk about whether or not separation from your partner is the right choice for you . Actually , before we start talking about that , firstly I would like to apologise for my

Speaker 100:00:48.681

croaky voice . I'm not sure if you can pick that up . Maybe I'll try and clean that up in the editing stage . I'm recording this on Christmas Eve an