The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast - 28. Part Two: Safe-guarding yourself from 'alienation' accusations - unsupervised day visits & drug and alcohol testing

28. Part Two: Safe-guarding yourself from 'alienation' accusations - unsupervised day visits & drug and alcohol testing

03/18/24 • 28 min

As a mother who's trudged through the murky waters of post-separation abuse, I understand the tightrope walk of safeguarding children while facing the possibility of false accusations of things like 'withholding', 'gatekeeping' and 'alienation'.
This episode shines a light on the credibility battles many women face when family violence surfaces in legal disputes. It's a candid discussion that hinges on the painful truth: the way a man treats the mother of his children often foreshadows his post-separation behaviour.
Transitioning to and from supervised visitation can feel like navigating a minefield and I explore this delicate topic with an emphasis on the significance of professional supervision and other tools at your disposal, like hair follicle testing and BACtrack alcohol monitoring, to ensure the safety and well-being of your precious children during these visits.

I'm a specialist Separation, Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.
I support women to strategically navigate ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and to optimise their outcome for themselves and their children.
Part of my specialist coaching includes helping women to optimise their court outcomes, particularly parenting arrangements. If you are navigating the court system with a controlling former partner, or suspect that you might in the future, I can help.

To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit:
https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au
For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-you
For more information about separation planning (including a checklist):
https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanning
Follow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching
MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):
1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

Lifeline: 13 11 14

13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Lifeline: 13 11 14

13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Previous Episode

27. Part One: Safe-guarding yourself from 'alienation' accusations - supervised visitation

As a parent who might be battling to shield your children from an abusive ex, the fear of being slapped with accusations of 'alienation' is all too real.
Embarking on the family law journey as a protective parent requires a delicate strategy, and in this episode I discuss how to utilise supervised visitation to your advantage. Steering clear of alienation accusations, while ensuring your children's safety, can feel like an impossible task but in this episode, and others to follow, I will discuss how to balance the act of being a protective parent while maintaining your credibility.
Join us for me for the first part of this crucial conversation—because when it comes to navigating separation and co-parenting with a controlling abuser, knowledge is not just power, it's protection.

Lifeline: 13 11 14

13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Next Episode

29. Part Three: Safe-guarding yourself from 'alienation' accusations - regular written updates & photo sharing apps

In this episode I emphasise the importance of consistent written communication as a safeguard against false accusations. Whether it's setting up a new email address or using secure platforms like Our Family Wizard, these strategies can help you to maintain your credibility and shield your children from as much conflict as possible.
It's about more than just avoiding phone calls or responding on your own terms—it's about curating a child-focused environment. I share strategies for using email to send regular updates on your children's lives, strategies for sharing their milestones, and the wisdom of scrutinising shared content to ensure your childrens' best interests are always in focus.
You may not like communicating with your ex, but not doing so can leave you open to significant criticism, including accusations of 'withholding', 'gatekeeping' and the dreaded 'parental alienation' - especially if you end up in court.
Take back your power and control and do what you can to optimise how you are perceived by others on this challenging journey!