11. Dispelling the myth of shared blame in high-conflict separation & divorce

01/15/24 • 14 min

Have you ever felt unjustly blamed for the strife in a high-conflict separation?
In this episode I'm tearing down the myth that both parties are equally responsible for the turmoil that often follows a divorce, especially when it comes to co-parenting.
As someone who's walked alongside many women embroiled in post-separation battles, I shine a light on the realities they face, including the continuation of family violence they hoped had ended with their relationship. The truth is, these women are frequently on the receiving end of legal action initiated by their ex-partners, and it's high time we recognise and support victim-survivors, rather than perpetuate a cycle of blame.
This episode isn't just about laying bare the challenges—it's about offering solace too. I discuss the critical importance of building a circle of support, and I share how my group membership program is a lifeline for many women, offering a community that understands without needing the full backstory.
For anyone feeling isolated, misunderstood, or weary from the fight, this conversation is a reminder that you're not alone, and the weight of dispelling conflict is not yours to carry alone. Tune in for a heart-to-heart, where empathy meets empowerment, and where your side of the story is not only heard but wholeheartedly believed.

I'm a specialist Separation, Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.
I support women to strategically navigate ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and to optimise their outcome for themselves and their children.
Part of my specialist coaching includes helping women to optimise their court outcomes, particularly parenting arrangements. If you are navigating the court system with a controlling former partner, or suspect that you might in the future, I can help.

To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit:
https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au
For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-you
For more information about separation planning (including a checklist):
https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanning
Follow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching
MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):
1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

Lifeline: 13 11 14

13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Lifeline: 13 11 14

13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Previous Episode

10. Navigating High-Conflict Separation: The Top 10 Mistakes to Avoid (Part 2)

Navigating the turbulent waters of high-conflict separation, divorce and co-parenting requires more than just a life vest; it demands a skilled navigator.
This episode is Part Two of my insights into the ten most common slip-ups people make during these stormy times, helping you steer clear of diving down unnecessary 'diagnosis' rabbit holes and the mirage of 'magical thinking.'
The journey doesn't end with living in separate homes; especially when children are involved.
For those who are facing the shadow of post-separation abuse, know that support is effective at any stage.
I stand steadfast in solidarity with everyone fighting the battle of high-conflict divorce and post-separation abuse, and my promise to you is my ongoing offer of transformative specialist divorce coaching.

Lifeline: 13 11 14

13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Next Episode

12. The reality of family law and the court system

As a survivor of an abusive relationship, the journey through the legal labyrinth of family law was a battleground I never anticipated, one that many of you might be facing right now.
In this podcast episode, I peel back the curtains on the raw truths of navigating the adversarial legal system - an arena for false accusations and strategic defenses, often leaving the protective parent feeling alone, unprotected and repeatedly victimised.
In the world of the Australian court system, I also address the harsh reality for those ensnared in prolonged legal disputes fueled by an ex-partner's financial resources.
For those of you navigating these treacherous waters, or about to set sail into them, I bring insights that could prove to be your anchor. Join me in charting a course through these challenges, providing the beacon of hope and clarity that is so very needed in such trying times.

Lifeline: 13 11 14

13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast - 11. Dispelling the myth of shared blame in high-conflict separation & divorce

Transcript

Speaker 100:00:34.201

Hi everyone . Today I'd like to talk about the reality of high conflict , separation , divorce and co-parenting , and whether or not being in the middle of a high conflict situation is even a choice that you get to make . I think there's a lot of confusion around this . I think there's a really big misconception that a high conflict situation is something in which both people are