The Brochure on Grief and the Distraction It Causes

04/09/24 • 18 min

This week I'm giving an update on how I'm managing and navigating my grief over losing Dallas, my horse. It's been another rough week. Not that the grief isn't hard enough, but our cat Bubbie needed to be rushed to the emergency vet. This would be hard enough emotionally but I didn't realize how much of a trigger it would be for me. Waiting to talk to the vet I just lost it. And it turns out I was so distracted by not only the grief around Dallas but the worry about Bubbie I guess that I ended up tripping and falling in the parking lot. Another example of how grief can cause distraction. I realize my head has been somewhere else. Hard to concentrate. Unfortunately this time my body suffered the pain because of it.
I've continued to try to find comfort in all things familiar. Sometimes, the most mundane things, like an episode of "I Love Lucy" or planting a new plant, digging in the soil, becomes something of an unexpected life rafts. Being outside with nature is somewhat comforting. Is that because Dallas lived outside too?
At the same time, I have a couple of friends going through just horrible challenges right now. My heart hurts for them. I'm thought of my friend Gina so much. Why do I miss her more now than any other time? Because she was so good at providing comfort when there was loss. So good at providing solace when I was hurting. Through my own pain, I recognize the hole she left behind even more now.
This episode isn't just about sharing my story—it's a beacon for anyone adrift in their own sea of loss, a reminder that, though these waters are tumultuous, none of us need to sail them alone.
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Previous Episode

The Brochure on Embracing Grief: Honoring Dallas and the Healing Power of Self-Care

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As I navigate the beginning of my life - our lives - without our beloved horse Dallas, I share a couple of the heart wrenching experiences from this past week. There is solace I suppose in rituals that ease the burden of grief, or at least help you navigate the world. His stall at the barn is now a tribute to him, with flowers and heartfelt notes, each message a testament to the love Dallas inspired. Then there are his ashes, that are finally back with us at home. There's some comfort in that. Through it all, our loyal dog, Brownie, and the unexpected refuge found in a new part-time job, offer moments of peace amidst the sorrow.
Navigating the tumultuous seas of loss requires a compass of self-care, a theme explored in this week's conversation. I unveil the steps I've taken to maintain a sense of balance—hydrating, walking with Brownie, eating healthily, and embracing rest. This episode is not just my journey; it's an open door for you, the listener, as we walk this path together. Join us as we share in the collective experience of grief, finding strength in the messages of support from our community and discovering a wellspring of hope that guides us toward next week's update. Grief is always a part of life.
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Next Episode

The Brochure on Continuing Grief, Healing Gardens, and Keeping Busy

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As I reach the four week mark after the loss of Dallas, I find myself in denial. Denial over his passing. And denial that the grief doesn't exist I guess. It's been hard to process continually and yet I know somehow I must process it, as painful as it is.
I open up about the time in 2007 when Dallas fell ill, sharing the story of our struggle and my profound gratitude that arose from those challenging days. I learned about then, or was it before with one of my dogs, to cherish every moment and soak up my time with him. I watched so many of our friends at the barn lose their horses over the years and knew it could happen quickly and without warning.
I'll share with you the distraction and the literal grounding my garden has afforded me. I learned about a woman who started a company called Meet Me in the Dirt to fill her own holes from grief. What a great name, right? And I'll talk briefly about my new job and how that's helping to keep me busy as well.
Life goes on whether we want it to or not. Join me as I navigate through grief. Loss is something we all experience.
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