70. Loneliness & the Importance of Relationships with Dr. Amy Banks

10/16/16 • 37 min

Recently someone posted this question in the introvert subreddit on reddit: "How to deal with half wanting new friends and half wanting to be a hermit?"

I hear and read questions like this all the time from introverts and introverted HSPs. We cherish being alone, and then sometimes wonder if we can get along without worrying about having relationships. After all, relationships are time consuming, difficult, and can be painful.

But then we often realize that we cannot exist alone. It might seem easier to avoid relationships, but it is bad for our mental and physical health. Humans were built to need and thrive on connection with others.

A Vice.com interview with Amy Banks, PhD, titled, "An Expert Explains Why You Feel So Lonely All the Time" really piqued my interest in this topic. I loved Dr. Banks' scientific explanation of why having quality relationships is so important.

Dr. Banks was an instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and is now the Director of Advanced Training at Jean Baker Miller Training Institute at the Wellesley Centers for Women. Her newest book is called Wired to Connect: The Surprising Link Between Brain Science and Strong, Healthy Relationships.

On this episode, we talk about:

The health impact of loneliness and disconnection
Why American society values the "do-it-alone" mindset so strongly
The dopamine reward system and relationships
Online bullying
How a boss or manager can use good relationships to improve the workplace
Connections with animals
And....communism?!? (Note: communism is discussed simply for the concept of community vs. individualism. We are not saying we want to live in a communist society!)

Amy recommends that those looking to improve their relationships first take her free Relational Assessment. You can get in touch with Amy on Twitter, Facebook, and check out her column on Psychology Today: Wired to Love Other books recommended by Dr. Banks in this episode:

Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community by Robert Putnam
Love and Survival: 8 Pathways to Intimacy and Health by Dean Ornish

Want to support the podcast?

If you enjoy my podcast and blog, if you find it helpful, uplifting, or entertaining, that's awesome! Would you consider giving just $1 per episode? Check out my Patreon page to see how it works. A special thank you to Gloria, the newest supporter!

Podcast music attribution: Bust This Bust That (Professor Kliq) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Recently someone posted this question in the introvert subreddit on reddit: "How to deal with half wanting new friends and half wanting to be a hermit?"

On this episode, we talk about:

The health impact of loneliness and disconnection
Why American society values the "do-it-alone" mindset so strongly
The dopamine reward system and relationships
Online bullying
How a boss or manager can use good relationships to improve the workplace
Connections with animals
And....communism?!? (Note: communism is discussed simply for the concept of community vs. individualism. We are not saying we want to live in a communist society!)

Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community by Robert Putnam
Love and Survival: 8 Pathways to Intimacy and Health by Dean Ornish

Want to support the podcast?

Podcast music attribution: Bust This Bust That (Professor Kliq) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Previous Episode

69. Curious about Meditation?

This episode is for those who have never tried meditation, are curious about it, or who have tried it but felt like they didn't "get" it. Meditation has helped me a lot over the past year. There was a time when I didn't think I could do it. I didn't understand what meditation was and whether I was doing it "right". I hope to reach other people, like me, who didn't think meditation would work for them. I hope this will inspire you to give it another try, because it can be rewarding.

My favorite meditation apps:

Want to support the podcast? If you enjoy my podcast and blog, if you find it helpful, uplifting, or entertaining, that's awesome! Would you consider giving just $1 per episode? Check out my Patreon page to see how it works. A special thank you to S.W., the newest supporter!

Podcast music attribution: Bust This Bust That (Professor Kliq) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Next Episode

71. The Highly Sensitive Podcaster with Andy Mort

Today's episode features Andy Mort of the Gentle Rebel podcast (formerly known as the Sheep Dressed like Wolves podcast).

We talk about what it's like to be a Highly Sensitive Person and a podcaster. (He interviewed me on his show recently, too: listen here!)

Some of the topics covered in this episode include: receiving negative feedback, making money, and tips for people who want to start their own show.

You can get in touch with Andy on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and find his music here.

Looking for a Community for HSPs? Join The Haven!

As mentioned in this episode, Andy's HSP community, The Haven, is open for registration from Nov. 4-10, 2016.

The Haven is a private membership site completely dedicated to HSPs. There's two years of great content available--like high-quality videos, interviews, collaborative projects, and blog posts--which have been created specifically to help support, encourage, and inspire HSPs in a range of areas, and Andy's always coming out with new content, too.

My favorite part might be the safe and supportive Facebook community that's exclusive to members.

There is no obligation or commitment. It's just $1 to try it out for the first month and you can cancel anytime, so there's really no reason not to give it a try and see if it's for you!

Learn more about The Haven at highlysensitiveperson.net/haven.

Podcast music attribution: Bust This Bust That (Professor Kliq) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0