Episode 136: Learning the Practice of Joy with Danielle Brooker

06/04/20 • 55 min

The Happier Approach: Quieting your High Functioning Anxiety

“You should be grateful,” they say.

“It isn’t that bad. I’m just whining,” you tell yourself.

“I shouldn’t be so negative. I have somuch to be positive about in my life.”

Man, oh, man! We really beat ourselves up for not being able to stick with positive thoughts all the time. The minute we start to feel negativity—like fear, anger, or doubt—we’re trained to step in with positivity.

Yet anger, sadness, and doubt have things to teach us. If we skip right over these “negative emotions,” we never get to experience life on a deeper level.

Today, I’m thrilled to talk with Danielle Brooker who helps busy, always-on women ditch stress and reclaim their joy. She owns The Daisy Patch, where she offers private coaching and group masterminds as well as digital courses. She also hosts the podcast, Let It Shine, and is a Forbes.com contributor.

In this episode, Danielle and I totally geek out about the differences between joy, happiness, and positive thinking. There is so much good stuff here and I can’t wait for you to hear it.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

What the difference is between joy and happiness
How joy and positive thinking work together yet how they are completely different
How you can be uncertain and feel really bad and at the same time experience joy
Why she refers to her online home as The Daisy Patch

Learn more about Danielle:

Learn more about Nancy:

Podcast Recommendations:

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

“You should be grateful,” they say.

“It isn’t that bad. I’m just whining,” you tell yourself.

“I shouldn’t be so negative. I have somuch to be positive about in my life.”

Yet anger, sadness, and doubt have things to teach us. If we skip right over these “negative emotions,” we never get to experience life on a deeper level.

In this episode, Danielle and I totally geek out about the differences between joy, happiness, and positive thinking. There is so much good stuff here and I can’t wait for you to hear it.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

What the difference is between joy and happiness
How joy and positive thinking work together yet how they are completely different
How you can be uncertain and feel really bad and at the same time experience joy
Why she refers to her online home as The Daisy Patch

Learn more about Danielle:

Learn more about Nancy:

Podcast Recommendations:

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Previous Episode

Episode 135: The Myth Of The "Right Way"

Today, we’re talking about doing things the “Right Way” and—surprise!—how there’s no such thing.

Unsurprisingly, many of my clients live for “doing it right.”

For them, there is nothing more amazing as hearing: Yes, you’re doing it right. In fact, one of the most popular phrases I hear from clients is: I did okay, right? They’re always looking for affirmation that they did it right.

So why is the need to do things the “Right Way” such a common experience of people with High Functioning Anxiety?

Doing it right, following the rules, and being a good girl keeps us from criticism. And growing up—either in our family of origin or through school and church—we learned that following the rules earns us LOTS of praise.

Not only that, but it protects us from the anxiety of not knowing what to do next. It keeps us safe—at least that’s what we convince ourselves of.

What rules have you created for yourself? Let’s explore this together in this week’s episode and find out what we can do about it.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

Why there is no such thing as doing things the “right way”
How the quest for doing things the “right way” leads to judging others
What we miss out on when we constantly try to do things the “right way”
How curiosity is key if we’re trying to understand why we’re afraid of getting things wrong

Links:

---

During the pandemic, I'll be offering a mini version of my Voxer work. Nothing too intense. Nothing too coachy. Just a chance for you to vent, talk about what's most pressing, and have a neutral third party on the phone for right now.

I'm calling it Coach In Your Pocket: Just Checking In Version.

Rather than a 3-month commitment to you completely regroup on your anxiety, Coach In Your Pocket: Just Checking In Version is a simple monthly program geared to help you stay sane during this time.

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Next Episode

Episode 137: Redefining Self-Care and Reclaiming Sovereignty with Mara Glatzel

Which of these examples looks like a day of self-care for you?

A hike through the woods with your nearest and dearest and a picnic lunch.

A rambunctious night of games, drinks, and pizza with friends.

Sleeping in and having coffee in bed, followed by a granola bowl on the back deck.

A chance to read your new fiction book, some yard work, and a barbeque on the grill.

Canceling plans to go canoeing because you just don’t feel good and need to rest.

Staying in bed all day, watching movies.

We have a set definition of what self-care should look like. But the reality is that any and all of the above ideas can be self-care!

For those of us with High Functioning Anxiety, we struggle with self-care. I mean, soul-nourishing, true downtime, really-giving-back-to-ourselves kind of self-care.

And yet our lack of self-care keeps us stuck in over-functioning and a lack of self-loyalty.

Sound familiar?

That’s why this month we’re talking about what keeps you stuck and how self-care (and lack thereof!) is one of those things.

My guest today is Mara Glatzel, MSW, an intuitive coach, writer, and podcast host who helps perfectionists and people pleasers reclaim their sovereignty. She’s a queer, femme wife and mother of two, recovering control freak, and a human who deeply understands the impulse to relegate her needs to the bottom of a very long to-do list in an attempt to prove her worth.

Mara also teaches everything she knows about identifying, honoring, and advocating for your needs in her 9-month online program, Tend. You can access her free training Revive: Self-Care That Works, hang with her on Instagram, or tune in to her weekly podcast, Needy.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

Her tagline redefining self-care and reclaiming sovereignty and what that means to her
How to prioritize yourself when you have overly prioritized others
How self-accountability is an act of self-love
Why “needs” is such a bad word in our society and how she is reclaiming needs as a good thing

Learn more about Mara:

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com