Episode 131: The Surprising Connection Between Avoidance and Anxiety

04/30/20 • 16 min

The Happier Approach: Quieting your High Functioning Anxiety

Let me check Instagram one more time.

Maybe I got an email? I haven’t checked for 10 minutes.

My glass of what is almost empty. Let me go downstairs for a refill. Stretching would be good right now, anyway.

Well, that break took a lot longer than I had planned. I got sucked into pulling some weeds while talking to my husband and then decided to make a snack.

Oh geez, I forgot to actually refill my glass.

Okay. Back at my desk. Before I start writing, let me check Instagram one more time. Anything new in my inbox?

This was me trying to write this podcast episode–avoiding and procrastinating. For me, this is all part of the process.

All this month we have been talking about avoidance and anxiety. We talked with Jaquette Timmons about avoidance and money, Erica Drewry about our relationship with food, Bailey Parnell about social media, and Andrea Owen about avoidance, anxiety, addiction.

Today I want to wrap the month up and talk about the connection between avoidance and High Functioning Anxiety and give you some insight into High Functioning Anxiety vs Low Functioning Anxiety.

Avoidance and anxiety go hand in hand but you might be surprised to learn how.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

What the differences are between High Functioning Anxiety and Low Functioning Anxiety
How there really isn’t one type of anxiety that is better than the other
How knowing where you fall really helps with coping better
And how to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms that we often develop around our anxiety

Links:

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During the pandemic, I'll be offering a mini version of my Voxer work. Nothing too intense. Nothing too coachy. Just a chance for you to vent, talk about what's most pressing, and have a neutral third party on the phone for right now.

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Let me check Instagram one more time.

Maybe I got an email? I haven’t checked for 10 minutes.

My glass of what is almost empty. Let me go downstairs for a refill. Stretching would be good right now, anyway.

Well, that break took a lot longer than I had planned. I got sucked into pulling some weeds while talking to my husband and then decided to make a snack.

Oh geez, I forgot to actually refill my glass.

Okay. Back at my desk. Before I start writing, let me check Instagram one more time. Anything new in my inbox?

This was me trying to write this podcast episode–avoiding and procrastinating. For me, this is all part of the process.

Today I want to wrap the month up and talk about the connection between avoidance and High Functioning Anxiety and give you some insight into High Functioning Anxiety vs Low Functioning Anxiety.

Avoidance and anxiety go hand in hand but you might be surprised to learn how.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

What the differences are between High Functioning Anxiety and Low Functioning Anxiety
How there really isn’t one type of anxiety that is better than the other
How knowing where you fall really helps with coping better
And how to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms that we often develop around our anxiety

Links:

---

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Previous Episode

Episode 130: Alcohol, Anxiety, & Avoidance With Author Andrea Owen

Is it too early to pour a glass of wine?

I'm just going to have one drink while I read my book outside.

Okay, well, one more while I cooked dinner.

Oh, a glass of wine would taste so good with this pasta.

I think I'm just going to do half a glass.

Well, there's just a little bit left in the bottle. I'm just going to finish that up...

And then at 3:00 AM, waking up with a headache and unable to go back to sleep, my monger starts chiming in: Why did you drink so much? What were you thinking? Why did you do that – again?

Before I took a long, hard look at my drinking, this was what I put myself through most days of the week.

Alcohol and anxiety tend to go hand in hand. We drink to decrease our anxiety and then because it feels so good, we drink too much and the result is an increase in anxiety.

Today, we're continuing our month of avoidance and anxiety by talking with Andrea Owen about the connection between avoidance and alcohol.

As a recovering alcoholic and life coach, Andrea has a unique perspective on the topic of avoidance and alcohol. She is the founder of Your Kick-Ass Life coaching and author of the books How To Stop Feeling Like Shit and 52 Ways To Live a Kick-Ass Life. I have been a huge fan of Andrea's for years, and this is the first time I've had the privilege of talking with her.

I love this interview for so many reasons, but the main point I want to leave you with is that alcohol use runs on a continuum and it is a personal decision. No one can tell you that you have a problem with alcohol except for yourself. For Andrea, her bottom was very high. For others, it takes much more drama and devastation before they notice they have a problem.

If you haven’t had the chance, go back and listen to the episodes with Jacquette Timmons, Erica Drewry, and Bailey Parnell.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

When Andrea knew she wasn’t just a social drinker
Why it can be so hard to see that drinking is a problem
Why alcohol gives us false hope as a tre

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Next Episode

Episode132: Working Brighter In The Hustle Culture with Brittany Berger

Go Go Go is addicting.

During this social distancing time, I keep hearing people say that we can finally stop hustling and use this time to get in touch with ourselves. The problem with that thinking is it implies that hustling is something that was forced upon us.

But in reality, hustling is something we choose to do as a coping mechanism against our uncomfortable feelings of sadness, grief, anger, doubt, and uncertainty.

For those of us with High Functioning Anxiety, these mechanisms can lead to even greater levels of anxiety. We all rail against hustle culture while at the same time actively embracing it. This coping mechanism has become a valued cultural norm to point where we even glorifying it.

So what would it be like to stop embracing the hustle culture altogether?

My guest today has raised a one-woman battle against hustle culture and her addiction to it. Brittany Berger is the founder of Work Brighter, a digital media company that helps productive unicorns go beyond working smarter to a version of productivity that makes room for “unproductive” things like rest, self-care, and fun.

She started Work Brighter after 5 years running content marketing in high-stress startups that prioritized hustle, growth, and scaling over self-care and mental health. Now that she's changed her own mindset, she spends her time helping other high achievers define balance for themselves, advocating for mental health awareness, and dancing...always dancing.

That Brittany walks her talk which is one reason this interview is so amazing. She believed the hustle culture lie with all of her being and shares not only her burnout story but what she has created and the values she lives by now.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

Brittany’s transformational story of burnout with all the nitty-gritty details
What self-care really looks like
Why it is so hard to unhook that belief that we can rest only when we have earned it
Practical tips for when your to-do list is 500 things long and your boss is breathing down your throat
How to get out of the cycle of pushing during the week and collapsing on the weekend

Brittany’s Links:

Nancy’s Links:

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com