Marriage, Equality & The Mental Load - A Candid Chat with Steph & Doug
Explicit content warning
03/21/25 • 62 min
Steph sits down with her husband of 17 years, Mark (Doug) Douglas, for an unfiltered and often hilarious deep dive into marriage, equality at home, and the invisible workload that often falls on women. From their whirlwind romance and early parenting struggles to resentment, gender roles, and the reality of balancing careers and family, no topic is off-limits.
Doug is a finance professional navigating the ever-evolving dynamics of modern partnerships. As a couple, Steph and Doug have had to unlearn traditional gender roles, redefine teamwork, and figure out how to stop bickering about the food shop. Spoiler alert - they don’t have it all figured out!
We Talk About:
The Mental Load & Motherhood - Why Steph felt trapped while Doug got to enjoy a solo train ride and a Pret sandwich.
When the Kindness Goes - How exhaustion and resentment creep into long-term relationships. Relearning Equality - The moment Doug realized doing the food shop wasn’t just about clicking ‘repeat order’ on Tesco.
Paternity Leave & Male Privilege - Why many men still hesitate to take time off and what needs to change.
The Pancake Revelation - A seemingly small act that transformed their approach to sharing responsibilities.
The Chats That Changed Everything - From Eve Rodsky’s episode, How to Make it Fair to Matt Frey's This Is How Your Marriage Ends, the resources that helped them shift their mindset.
With plenty of laughter, some uncomfortable truths, and a whole lot of real talk, this episode is for anyone who has ever argued about housework, felt unseen in their relationship, or just wants to feel less alone in the chaos of modern family life.
And for those of you listening in real time, let's not forget that Mother's Day is just around the corner and Don't Buy Her Flowers is on standby to help you with a thoughtful gift that shows the mother in your life the gratitude they so deserve!
Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
This episode we are proud to have two excellent sponsors:
Anara Skincare - luxury, natural skincare without compromise. Use code DBHF20 for 20% off.
Sweet Freedom - award winning syrups and spreads, always sweet, always natural. Use code DBHF15 for 15% off.
We recorded this episode at Patch in Twickenham, which is a co-working space and they have another four locations in England. Patch are offering 50% off the first two months membership with the code Steph50. Go to patch.work
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Steph sits down with her husband of 17 years, Mark (Doug) Douglas, for an unfiltered and often hilarious deep dive into marriage, equality at home, and the invisible workload that often falls on women. From their whirlwind romance and early parenting struggles to resentment, gender roles, and the reality of balancing careers and family, no topic is off-limits.
Doug is a finance professional navigating the ever-evolving dynamics of modern partnerships. As a couple, Steph and Doug have had to unlearn traditional gender roles, redefine teamwork, and figure out how to stop bickering about the food shop. Spoiler alert - they don’t have it all figured out!
We Talk About:
The Mental Load & Motherhood - Why Steph felt trapped while Doug got to enjoy a solo train ride and a Pret sandwich.
When the Kindness Goes - How exhaustion and resentment creep into long-term relationships. Relearning Equality - The moment Doug realized doing the food shop wasn’t just about clicking ‘repeat order’ on Tesco.
Paternity Leave & Male Privilege - Why many men still hesitate to take time off and what needs to change.
The Pancake Revelation - A seemingly small act that transformed their approach to sharing responsibilities.
The Chats That Changed Everything - From Eve Rodsky’s episode, How to Make it Fair to Matt Frey's This Is How Your Marriage Ends, the resources that helped them shift their mindset.
With plenty of laughter, some uncomfortable truths, and a whole lot of real talk, this episode is for anyone who has ever argued about housework, felt unseen in their relationship, or just wants to feel less alone in the chaos of modern family life.
And for those of you listening in real time, let's not forget that Mother's Day is just around the corner and Don't Buy Her Flowers is on standby to help you with a thoughtful gift that shows the mother in your life the gratitude they so deserve!
Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
This episode we are proud to have two excellent sponsors:
Anara Skincare - luxury, natural skincare without compromise. Use code DBHF20 for 20% off.
Sweet Freedom - award winning syrups and spreads, always sweet, always natural. Use code DBHF15 for 15% off.
We recorded this episode at Patch in Twickenham, which is a co-working space and they have another four locations in England. Patch are offering 50% off the first two months membership with the code Steph50. Go to patch.work
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Previous Episode
Motherhood, Comedy & Wrinkles: Ageing Disgracefully with Genevieve Turley
Steph sits down with the hilarious and incredibly talented makeup artist Genevieve Turley. Known for her candid takes on beauty, motherhood, and life in general, Gen shares her journey from being a nurse in the Air Force to becoming a sought-after bridal makeup artist and an Instagram star with over 400k followers.
Gen is a freelance makeup artist and content creator helping women over 30 navigate the beauty industry. With a previous career as a burns specialist nurse in the RAF, Gen is on a mission for women to rethink the way they talk to themselves and encourages them to have a better relationship with their reflection.
We Talk About:
- From Air Force Nurse to Makeup Artist - Gen’s unconventional career path and how nursing skills helped her in the bridal industry.
- Motherhood & Chaos - Juggling work, kids, and life admin, plus her thoughts on the early years of parenting.
- The Power of Comedy - How her love for Absolutely Fabulous, French & Saunders, and British comedy shaped her online presence.
- Beauty Standards & Aging - Breaking the cycle of unrealistic beauty ideals and why she champions real skin, real faces, and confidence.
- Instagram Fame & Finding Balance - The joy (and pressure) of content creation and why she still prioritizes her bridal clients.
- Supporting Women - Encouraging genuine compliments, shutting down negative talk, and lifting each other up.
This episode is sponsored by Anara Skincare, luxury, natural skincare without compromise. Use code DBHF20 for 20% off.
Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Next Episode
Teenagers and Midlife, The Perfect Storm with Lorraine Candy
Parenting teenagers and navigating midlife can feel like a perfect storm. One moment you’re managing eye-rolls and slammed doors, the next you’re questioning why no one warned you about perimenopause. In this episode, Steph is joined by journalist, author, and parenting pro Lorraine Candy for a frank and reassuring conversation about raising teens, handling hormones, and keeping a sense of humour through it all.
In this episode Steph and Lorraine cover:
- Why teenagers behave like they do (and how to stay calm when they don’t)
- Talking to your kids about relationships, social media and boundaries
- The truth about perimenopause and why so many women feel dismissed
- Why midlife and parenting teens can feel like an emotional rollercoaster
- Practical strategies for keeping communication open and family life less stressful
Lorraine also opens up about midlife, perimenopause and why so many women feel unsupported when they seek medical help. From advocating for yourself at the GP to understanding why teenagers don’t seem to "see" mess, this conversation is packed with insights, humour and reassurance for parents in the thick of it.
In this episode, we discuss:
- The teenage brain: why logic often goes out the window
- How to talk to your kids about sex, relationships, and social media
- The struggles of perimenopause and why GPs still don’t have the right answers
- Why midlife and parenting teens collide in unexpected ways
- The importance of connection, dinner table conversations, and knowing when to back off
Lorraine Candy, is an author, editor and podcaster. She co-hosts the Postcards From Midlife podcast with Trish Halpin, host of The Times' podcast, The Parent Pod and is the author of 3 incredible books. She is a former editor of Cosmo, ELLE and Sunday Times Style and a mum of four children.
Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
This episode we are proud to have two excellent sponsors:
Anara Skincare - luxury, natural skincare without compromise. Use code DBHF20 for 20% off.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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