Codependency and Chronic Pain with Dr. Andrea Furlan, MD
06/05/23 • 53 min
-What is chronic pain and how does it relate to codependency?
-How might codependents sabotage their health?
-What are the initial steps we can take to practice self-care and prevent conditions like chronic pain?
Welcome to Episode 129! This week, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Andrea Furlan, MD, PhD, on the connection between codependency and chronic pain. In the episode, Dr. Furlan educates us on what chronic pain is and how codependency a) contributes to the development of chronic pain and b) ways that codependents may sabotage their healing from chronic pain since we can’t practice self-care. You’ll hear ways Dr. Furlan has navigated codependency in her own life, including with her chronic pain patients. We explore Dr. Furlan’s eight steps to curing chronic pain and discuss ways you can begin to implement them in your life asap! It’s a must-listen!
Links for the show:
Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497
Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge
Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC
Work with me! Email [email protected] to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!
More on this week’s guest:
Dr. Andrea Furlan, MD, PhD, is an Associate Professor in the Department of Medicine at the University of Toronto and a Staff Physician and Senior Scientist at the Toronto Rehabilitation Institute. Her YouTube page has more than 487,000 subscribers and more than 42 million views. She received a CIHR New Investigator Award, and her research focus is on treatments of chronic pain including medications, complementary and alternative therapies, and rehabilitation.
https://www.iwh.on.ca/people/andrea-furlan
https://www.instagram.com/dr.andrea.furlan/
Deets on the episode:
We begin by hearing Dr. Furlan’s definition of codependency: in a relationship between two people, one person puts the interests of another above their own to help them succeed. Dr. Furlan describes ways that she learned about codependency in addiction medicine and started to see it in her patients who would refuse to take care of themselves.
Dr. Furlan opens up about codependency in her own life where, as a mother, she has had to find the balance between doing the right thing for her and her children related to caretaking. She reveals how she and her colleagues often combat codependency with their patients. “We work harder than our patients.” She details empathy research on doctors who prioritize the needs of their patients over their own which contributes to burnout. Can you relate?
We shift focus to Dr. Furlan’s expertise: chronic pain. We learn what the definition of chronic pain is, the difference between acute pain versus chronic pain, and how it relates to the alarm system in a house. Thing is, with chronic pain, the physical “alarm system” is broken.
Dr. Furlan and I discuss the ways she has seen her patients become codependent with their chronic pain where they form an identity as a “chronic pain patient.” We also hear her struggles with codependent patients who have difficulty practicing self-care and sabotage their chronic pain recovery.
What’s a codependent trying to heal from chronic pain to do? Dr. Furlan suggests these eight steps which she details in her book:
- Accept you have chronic pain
- Control your emotions
- Sleep
- Nutrition
- Communication
- Medication
- Exercise
- Goals in life
Dr. Furlan leaves us with reminders to practice self-love, compassion, and to create healthy community.
Thanks for coming on Dr. Furlan! And thank you for listening, my dear listener!
PLEASE:
Rate.
Review.
Subscribe.
Share.
We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!
-The Self-Validation Challenge - free 30-day guide to providing yourself with all the validation you seek: www.codependummy.com/challenge
...
-What is chronic pain and how does it relate to codependency?
-How might codependents sabotage their health?
-What are the initial steps we can take to practice self-care and prevent conditions like chronic pain?
Welcome to Episode 129! This week, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Andrea Furlan, MD, PhD, on the connection between codependency and chronic pain. In the episode, Dr. Furlan educates us on what chronic pain is and how codependency a) contributes to the development of chronic pain and b) ways that codependents may sabotage their healing from chronic pain since we can’t practice self-care. You’ll hear ways Dr. Furlan has navigated codependency in her own life, including with her chronic pain patients. We explore Dr. Furlan’s eight steps to curing chronic pain and discuss ways you can begin to implement them in your life asap! It’s a must-listen!
Links for the show:
Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497
Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge
Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC
Work with me! Email [email protected] to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!
More on this week’s guest:
Dr. Andrea Furlan, MD, PhD, is an Associate Professor in the Department of Medicine at the University of Toronto and a Staff Physician and Senior Scientist at the Toronto Rehabilitation Institute. Her YouTube page has more than 487,000 subscribers and more than 42 million views. She received a CIHR New Investigator Award, and her research focus is on treatments of chronic pain including medications, complementary and alternative therapies, and rehabilitation.
https://www.iwh.on.ca/people/andrea-furlan
https://www.instagram.com/dr.andrea.furlan/
Deets on the episode:
We begin by hearing Dr. Furlan’s definition of codependency: in a relationship between two people, one person puts the interests of another above their own to help them succeed. Dr. Furlan describes ways that she learned about codependency in addiction medicine and started to see it in her patients who would refuse to take care of themselves.
Dr. Furlan opens up about codependency in her own life where, as a mother, she has had to find the balance between doing the right thing for her and her children related to caretaking. She reveals how she and her colleagues often combat codependency with their patients. “We work harder than our patients.” She details empathy research on doctors who prioritize the needs of their patients over their own which contributes to burnout. Can you relate?
We shift focus to Dr. Furlan’s expertise: chronic pain. We learn what the definition of chronic pain is, the difference between acute pain versus chronic pain, and how it relates to the alarm system in a house. Thing is, with chronic pain, the physical “alarm system” is broken.
Dr. Furlan and I discuss the ways she has seen her patients become codependent with their chronic pain where they form an identity as a “chronic pain patient.” We also hear her struggles with codependent patients who have difficulty practicing self-care and sabotage their chronic pain recovery.
What’s a codependent trying to heal from chronic pain to do? Dr. Furlan suggests these eight steps which she details in her book:
- Accept you have chronic pain
- Control your emotions
- Sleep
- Nutrition
- Communication
- Medication
- Exercise
- Goals in life
Dr. Furlan leaves us with reminders to practice self-love, compassion, and to create healthy community.
Thanks for coming on Dr. Furlan! And thank you for listening, my dear listener!
PLEASE:
Rate.
Review.
Subscribe.
Share.
We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!
-The Self-Validation Challenge - free 30-day guide to providing yourself with all the validation you seek: www.codependummy.com/challenge
...
Previous Episode
Plus-sized and Codependent with Annelise Asch
-What does codependency look like in plus-size persons?
-How does judgment from others lead plus-size persons to ‘play small’ in their relationships?
-What are the initial steps to healing from our codependency with body image?
Welcome to Episode 128! This week, we are graced with the presence of Annelise Asch, advocate of body neutrality and liberation, to discuss the interconnection between codependency, body image, and plus-size persons. Annelise shares with us how, as young women, we can become codependent on society’s standard of beauty and attraction. This, in turn, can lead us to become codependent on our body image and becoming obsessed with morphing and molding our bodies to fit the “ideal.” Annelise opens up about her own codependency with body image and how she was able to break the connection. We conclude with the initial steps she suggests for plus size persons to stop playing small and start taking up space! It’s a must-listen!
Links for the show:
Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497
Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge
Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC
Work with me! Email [email protected] to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!
More on this week’s guest:
Annelise Asch is the Social media chair for the International Association of Eading Disorder Professionals iaedp LA and a Professional Relations Representative for The Renfrew Center. She is Passionate about mental health and has worked for 3 years providing peer support and coordinating outreach for mental health organizations in Southern California. Annelise is an advocate of body neutrality and liberation and channels that into her work and personal social media presence.
instagram.com/anneliseasch
Deets on the episode:
We begin with hearing Annelise’s definition of codependency: when one seeks validation from others and allows others to define one’s boundaries. She opens up about codependency from her own life and admits how she used to think it was a compliment! Her former relationship was, unbeknownst to her, extremely codependent where their “compromise” was really them sacrificing their needs. Can you relate?
Our focus turns to codependency in plus size persons. Annelise shares about how, as young women, we are vulnerable to becoming codependent on society’s beauty standard where we strive to meet the standards of an “ideal body.” This in turn can lead to becoming codependent on our own body image where she obsessively think about, worry about, feel self-conscious about, and hyper-focus on our bodies. Annelise describes her own codependency with her attempts to lose weight and how she was enabled due to the positive attention from others and praise.
I ask Annelise about how a plus sized individual may be vulnerable to being codependent in their relationships. If they worry they aren’t “pleasing others” with their body, then they may be more agreeable, conflict-avoidant, and appeasing to their partners, parents, and friends. Annelise also describes how being teased, criticized, or shamed by others can lead a plus-size person to ‘play small.’
What does recovery look like for a plus-size person? Annelise lists how realization of one’s worth, an understanding of body neutrality and body acceptance, finding community, and challenging the beliefs/standards of beauty can free one of being codependent on their body image.
Thanks for coming on Annelise! And thank you for listening, my dear listener!
PLEASE:
Rate.
Review.
Subscribe.
Share.
We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!
-The Self-Validation Challenge - free 30-day guide to providing yourself with all the validation you seek: www.codependummy.com/challenge
-Get your copy of the Confiding Codependummy: 30 days of journaling prompts for a less-codependent and more-conscious you! www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
-If you are wanting to dive into your codependency deeper one-on-one, please email marissa@codepend...
Next Episode
Stop Dating Assholes with Alyse Freda-Colon, LCSW
-What are common characteristics of codependents while dating?
-Why do codependents tend to attract assholes when dating?
-How can we be more intentional about our needs to find a healthy partner?
Welcome to Episode 130! This week, I sat down with Alyse Freda-Colon, LCSW, to discuss her approach on helping codependent women who want to stop dating assholes! You’ll hear Alyse’s observations on the common characteristics of codependents while dating, the common mistakes we tend to make on dates, and the red flags we miss with romantic interests. I even share some anecdotes about my dating history since I had a knack for dating assholes. We look at the long-term consequences if we never address our codependent ways when it comes to romance. Alyse spares us from heartache by revealing the initial steps she takes with her coaching clients to help them be more intentional, aligned, and conscious while dating in order to attract healthy partners. It’s a must-listen!
Links for the show:
Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497
Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge
Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC
Work with me! Email [email protected] to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!
More on this week’s guest:
Alyse Freda-Colon is a therapist in New York and has recently launched 2 small group coaching programs for women: First, Stop Dating Assholes! for women who are ready to start dating more strategically. The second is Are you Mad at Me? for women who are tired of bending themself into a pretzel to please others and who are ready to start prioritizing their own needs unapologetically.
https://www.coachingwithalyse.com/
Download Alyse’s Secret Weapon Dating Guide: https://www.coachingwithalyse.com/
More deets on the episode:
We begin with Alyse’s definition of codependency: when someone whose self-worth is tied up in someone else.” She details how codependents often develop their sense of self from an external source and are always asking if they are enough, if they are okay, and base their wants on others.
And when it comes to dating? Buckle up! Alyse shares common characteristics of codependents: having no idea what we want in a partner, fear around being single, preoccupation with societal and parental pressure to date, settling with partners who are not ideal for us. She adds how codependents often doubt if they deserve a healthy relationship, ignore their gut in relationships, and often spiral about expectations of themselves and others.
Alyse details the common dating mistakes codependents commit: we make excuses for our partners behavior, make ourselves responsible for our partners feelings, fail to recognize when a partner is disrespectful, have no sense of our needs, lose ourselves in relationships, and have no clarity on what we are and aren't okay with in relationships.
I open up about how I distorted stalking as romantic. And it was not just in one but two subsequent relationships!
And the red flags we miss: the fact that we are walking on eggshells, feel like we can’t be authentic, fear disappointing our partner, make excuses, and believe lies.
We forecast the long-term consequences of these behaviors if they go unaddressed: toxic relationships, wasted time, repetitive patterns, and justifying bad behavior.
Alyse spares us of romantic misery by suggesting: adjusting our timetable on love, getting clear on what we want in a partner, cultivate a strong sense of self, determine our dealbreakers/must-haves/key characteristics, reflect on past relationships, and pursue what we want.
If you’re needing more help to stop dating assholes, be sure to sign up for Alyse’s group!!!
Thanks for coming on Alyse! And thank you for listening, my dear listener!
PLEASE:
Rate.
Review.
Subscribe.
Share.
We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!
-The Self-Validation Challenge - free 30-day guide to providing yourself with all the validation you seek:
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