Co-dependent and Co-Crazy with Dr. Sarah Michaud, PsyD
Explicit content warning
02/19/24 • 53 min
-What drives codependent behavior?
-What are the common reasons that make it hard to stop codependent behavior?
-How is codependent just as lethal as substance and alcohol addiction?
Welcome to Episode 162! This week, we are joined by Dr. Sarah Michaud, PsyD, who opens up about her own codependent recovery that she documents in her book, Co-Crazy. Dr. Sarah shares with us about her codependent recovery journey and her work with codependent women. She describes where codependent behavior comes from and the factors that make it so difficult to stop the behaviors. We explore how codependency is just as lethal as other addictions like substance use and alcoholism and conclude with hearing why this makes Dr. Sarah so passionate about this work. It’s a must-listen!
Links for the show:
Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497
Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge
Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC
Work with me! Email [email protected] to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!
More on this week’s guest:
Dr Sarah Michaud is a psychologist who has worked with clients with addiction issues for over 30 years, She has also been sober herself for almost 40 years...she considers her codependency recovery the post important missing piece to her finally finding freedom and liberation over the last 20 years.
https://www.youtube.com/@leavingcrazytown → Be the first of 5 people to subscribe to her youtube channel, email [email protected], and get a free copy of her book!
More deets on the episode:
We begin with Dr. Sarah’s definition of codepdnency: the inability to be with yourself. Codependents cannot speak up, set boundaries, and have an inability to be and know their true self. This leads to feeling exhausted, lost, enraged, detached, and an inabilityt to have true relationships.
Dr. Sarah opens up about codependency in her own life, including with her father, first husband, and son. She contrasts these anecdotes by sharing about an interaction with her son after she began recovery and how she offered him support, encouragement, and acceptance. What a transformation!
Dr. Sarah suggests where codependent behavior comes from: simplistically, from the lack of knowing yourself. As children, we learn to get what we need and codependents do that indirectly through meeting the needs of others. Codependent behavior is driven by our lack of a sense of self.
We explore what makes it so hard to stop codependent behavior: it’s uncomfortable, we fear changing our behavior will lead to pain and abandonment, the patterns are so automatic, it takes risk to make changes in our relationships, we have to value ourselves over our relationships, and we fear that we will be perceived as mean and selfish.
Dr. Sarah is so passionate about this work since she believes that codependency is just as lethal as any addiction. She has witnessed what happens when people don’t take care of themselves and it leads to the same outcomes as addiction: physical and mental suffering. In order to help those who want freedom from codependency, Dr. Sarah wrote her book, Co-Crazy, which is part memoir and part roadmap to recovery.
Thank you for being here Dr. Sarah! And thank you for listening dear listener!
PLEASE:
Rate.
Review.
Subscribe.
Share.
We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!
-What drives codependent behavior?
-What are the common reasons that make it hard to stop codependent behavior?
-How is codependent just as lethal as substance and alcohol addiction?
Welcome to Episode 162! This week, we are joined by Dr. Sarah Michaud, PsyD, who opens up about her own codependent recovery that she documents in her book, Co-Crazy. Dr. Sarah shares with us about her codependent recovery journey and her work with codependent women. She describes where codependent behavior comes from and the factors that make it so difficult to stop the behaviors. We explore how codependency is just as lethal as other addictions like substance use and alcoholism and conclude with hearing why this makes Dr. Sarah so passionate about this work. It’s a must-listen!
Links for the show:
Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497
Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge
Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC
Work with me! Email [email protected] to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!
More on this week’s guest:
Dr Sarah Michaud is a psychologist who has worked with clients with addiction issues for over 30 years, She has also been sober herself for almost 40 years...she considers her codependency recovery the post important missing piece to her finally finding freedom and liberation over the last 20 years.
https://www.youtube.com/@leavingcrazytown → Be the first of 5 people to subscribe to her youtube channel, email [email protected], and get a free copy of her book!
More deets on the episode:
We begin with Dr. Sarah’s definition of codepdnency: the inability to be with yourself. Codependents cannot speak up, set boundaries, and have an inability to be and know their true self. This leads to feeling exhausted, lost, enraged, detached, and an inabilityt to have true relationships.
Dr. Sarah opens up about codependency in her own life, including with her father, first husband, and son. She contrasts these anecdotes by sharing about an interaction with her son after she began recovery and how she offered him support, encouragement, and acceptance. What a transformation!
Dr. Sarah suggests where codependent behavior comes from: simplistically, from the lack of knowing yourself. As children, we learn to get what we need and codependents do that indirectly through meeting the needs of others. Codependent behavior is driven by our lack of a sense of self.
We explore what makes it so hard to stop codependent behavior: it’s uncomfortable, we fear changing our behavior will lead to pain and abandonment, the patterns are so automatic, it takes risk to make changes in our relationships, we have to value ourselves over our relationships, and we fear that we will be perceived as mean and selfish.
Dr. Sarah is so passionate about this work since she believes that codependency is just as lethal as any addiction. She has witnessed what happens when people don’t take care of themselves and it leads to the same outcomes as addiction: physical and mental suffering. In order to help those who want freedom from codependency, Dr. Sarah wrote her book, Co-Crazy, which is part memoir and part roadmap to recovery.
Thank you for being here Dr. Sarah! And thank you for listening dear listener!
PLEASE:
Rate.
Review.
Subscribe.
Share.
We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!
Previous Episode
Codependency and Control with Kelli Younglove
-How do codependents often switch from people-pleasing to controlling others?
-Where does our desire to control others come from?
-What can we do to let go of our need to control?
Welcome to Episode 161! Kelli Younglove is back for a deeper look at two common sides of codependency: people-pleasing and controlling others. Kelli opens up about her own experiences being a controlling codependent and how this contributed to her poor boundaries. We discuss where these poor boundaries, people-pleasing, and controlling behaviors come from. The episode concludes with Kelli sharing about all the work she has done to address her poor boundaries and how that led her to creating her boundary course. It’s a must-listen!
Links for the show:
Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497
Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge
Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC
Work with me! Email [email protected] to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!
More on this week’s guest:
Kelli Younglove is a Consciousness Coach who teaches her clients a kinder, gentler way to work with their anxiety so they can silence the voice of the harsh inner critic, release stress, and show up in their lives as their happy, confident selves. She's also the creator of the boundary course: Creating the Container of YOU— a self-study e-course that teaches boundary fundamentals for people pleasers and controllers.
Kelli’s first interview on the podcast: https://codependummy.com/the-basics-of-boundaries-with-kelli-younglove/
Kelli’s course: https://courses-kelliyounglove.thinkific.com/courses/boundaries-creating-the-container-of-you
Receive a free admission to her course by emailing Kelli: [email protected]
https://www.facebook.com/youngloveinc/
More deets on the episode:
We begin by revisiting Kelli’s definition of codependency and she adds how we “need the hit of approval, that rush that I am okay and alright since others are okay with me.” She emphasizes how codependents are left feeling insecure and scared since they are always looking outside of themselves to feel okay.
Kelli reflects on codependency in her own life and reflects on a boyfriend from her early 20s. She recalls how she was controlling since she feared he would leave her by guilting him, giving him the silent treatment, via emotional blackmail, punishment, threats, and acting like a bully. Sound familiar?
We explore how codependents, despite being such people-pleasers, are controlling as well. This results in us swinging from one extreme to the other due to our lack of inner boundaries.
Kelli suggests that these roles of people-pleasing and control are rooted in the human struggle for survival! This evolved into the struggle for power and we attempt to control as a survival strategy. In order to combat this, Kelli highlights how we need to switch from fear to better awareness and relate to others in a new way–not from a one up, one down position–but as equals.
We conclude by hearing about Kelli’s journey to create healthy boundaries in her own life which began in 2002 and how that culminated in her creating her boundary course after decades of study!
Thanks for coming on Kelli! And thank you for being here, dear listener!
PLEASE:
Rate.
Review.
Subscribe.
Share.
We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!
Next Episode
Start with Your Values with Lauren Camacho, LCSW
-How can defining our values help us with poor boundaries?
-What’s the difference between our unconscious and conscious values?
-Once we know our values, how can that lead to our increased ability to express ourselves?
Welcome to Episode 163! This week, I am joined by Lauren Camacho for her second appearance on the podcast. We talk all about VALUES: the how, the why, and the what when it comes to getting in touch with yours. Lauren describes how values can help us when we are confronted with a big transition in life, when it comes to transforming our boundaries from unhealthy to healthy, and as a way to help us get in better touch with ourselves. Lauren shares about her approach with her clients to help them change their unconscious values (for example, comfort and safety) to conscious (for example, honesty and compassion) as a guide for challenges in life. It’s a must-listen!
Links for the show:
Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497
Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge
Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC
Work with me! Email [email protected] to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!
More on this week’s guest:
Lauren Camacho is a therapist, coach, and founder of her group practice, Anew Counseling and Wellness located in Covina, CA. Anew Counseling and Wellness serves adults, teens, and couples and strives to support them in healing, growing, and thriving so they can feel better and live better.
https://www.anewcounselingandwellness.com
Be sure to contact Lauren on her website for a free therapy consultation!
More deets on the episode:
We begin with revisiting Lauren’s definition of codependency: taking or giving responsibility to someone or something else in order to meet our needs. She adds how codependents often do not get to know who they are, are unable to honor who they are, and then a piece of us (or all of us) gets lost. She emphasizes how we need to ask questions about what do we value, why we value it, and where are those values present (or not present) in our lives.
Lauren opens up about feeling codependent during her recent venture in opening her group practice: “Someone decide for me please!” She reflects on how she yearned for someone else to make decisions for her rather than take on that responsibility herself. Sound familiar?!
We shift focus to the codependency Lauren often sees in her practice. One common observation with her clients is how codependent they become while going through a difficult stage in life. Lauren reflects how these patients often regress into codependent behavior where they rely on others, experience choas/overwhelm, get into survival mode, are disorganized, and lack an inner authority.
Lauren expands on her observation of codependent clients feeling detached from themselves. She suggests that, in order to get to know ourselves, we need to start with journaling. We can answer questions like: how am I doing? Where am I feeling emotions in my body? What do I need? How do I need that need?
In order to create better boundaries, Lauren suggests getting in touch with our VALUES. Once we get in touch with our values, they will guide our boundaries and make it that much easier to set and maintain them. We conclude with hearing how our values can also help us face the times we fear getting rejected since we are in touch with why we are willing to be rejected. We conclude with a helpful reminder to be sure to recognize when your following your fear-based values versus your trust-based values.
Thank you for coming on again Lauren! And thank you dear listener for being here!
PLEASE:
Rate.
Review.
Subscribe.
Share.
We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!
If you like this episode you’ll love
Episode Comments
Generate a badge
Get a badge for your website that links back to this episode
<a href="https://goodpods.com/podcasts/the-codependummy-podcast-204598/co-dependent-and-co-crazy-with-dr-sarah-michaud-psyd-45080820"> <img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/goodpods-images-bucket/badges/generic-badge-1.svg" alt="listen to co-dependent and co-crazy with dr. sarah michaud, psyd on goodpods" style="width: 225px" /> </a>
Copy