You Don’t Have Mindset Issues—You Have Survival Patterns

05/22/25 • 31 min

If you’ve ever felt like you’re “doing all the right things” but still stuck—resentful, exhausted, numb, or disconnected—this episode is for you. Chelsey Holm goes deep into the truth no one’s saying loud enough: it’s not your mindset. It’s your nervous system. Your survival patterns. Your body remembering past pain and running the show—even when your life looks “fine” on the outside.

In this raw, faith-rooted episode, Chelsey unpacks the personal moment that exposed her own stress response and introduces the SAFE Framework—a tool to help you get out of reactive cycles, regulate your emotions, and reclaim your ability to show up present, powerful, and rooted in God’s peace.

You’ll learn:

Why mindset work alone will always fall short
What survival mode looks like in high-functioning wives and passive husbands
How to notice the signals your body is sending (and why they matter more than your thoughts)
How to break emotional loops that keep you stuck in shutdown, overthinking, or control
How to reset your rhythms, rebuild trust, and surrender into peace

If your marriage feels functional but disconnected—or you’re holding everything together out of duty instead of desire—this episode will challenge and free you.

Resources Mentioned:

Free 15-minute call with Chelsey: chelsey.coach/bookyourcall
Free video training for wives: Linked in show notes
DM Chelsey on Instagram: @chelsey_noel

Stop white-knuckling your life. Let’s dismantle survival mode—and build something holy.

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Chelsey Holm | the Wife Coach
"I help Christian wives flourish deeply as YOU in marriage, motherhood, and life. "
Grab my free training here: https://chelsey.coach/highlevelwife-freetraining

2x certified Coach (John Maxwell Leadership, Kristen Boss SSLS)
10+ years coaching experience
NASM-certified in Personal Training and Nutrition
Mom of 5, Army wife 16 years
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You’ll learn:

Why mindset work alone will always fall short
What survival mode looks like in high-functioning wives and passive husbands
How to notice the signals your body is sending (and why they matter more than your thoughts)
How to break emotional loops that keep you stuck in shutdown, overthinking, or control
How to reset your rhythms, rebuild trust, and surrender into peace

If your marriage feels functional but disconnected—or you’re holding everything together out of duty instead of desire—this episode will challenge and free you.

Resources Mentioned:

Free 15-minute call with Chelsey: chelsey.coach/bookyourcall
Free video training for wives: Linked in show notes
DM Chelsey on Instagram: @chelsey_noel

Stop white-knuckling your life. Let’s dismantle survival mode—and build something holy.

Support the show

Previous Episode

From Walls to Oneness: The Power of Vulnerability, Mission, and Right Order in Marriage

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In this raw, off-the-cuff episode, Chelsey Holm unpacks the powerful transformation that took place at the recent High Level Husband & High Level Wife couples retreat. With nine couples in the room—some on the brink of divorce and others just drifting—walls came down, vulnerability took center stage, and marriages were reoriented around God’s mission. Chelsey shares what it looks like to stop painting over a crumbling foundation and instead let the Holy Spirit be the wrecking ball.

She challenges both husbands and wives to confront the current order of their lives, lay down pride, and move in spiritual unity. If you’ve been living with hardened hearts, disconnected from your spouse, or unsure of your marriage’s purpose—this episode will shake you awake and reignite your call.

Key Takeaways: