How to Build Confidence and Be More Social with Vanessa Van Edwards

03/02/22 • 63 min

1 Listener

Are there certain traits that make someone charismatic? Why do some people captivate a room, while others struggle to manage a small meeting? Why do some ideas spread, but other good ones fall by the wayside?

These are the questions that bestselling author and human behavior expert Vanessa Van Edwards seeks to answer in her new book, "Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication."

If we're often overlooked for job opportunities or have our ideas ignored, we should pay closer attention to the "tiny" signals we send to others through our body language, facial expressions, word choice, and vocal inflection.

Vanessa believes these "cues" have a huge impact on how we, and our ideas, come across and can either undermine or reinforce our message.

In today's episode, I talk with her about her book—and how we can convey likeability, trust, and power in every interaction.

Over 54 million people have seen Vanessa on YouTube and in her viral TED Talk. Her behavior research lab, Science of People, has been featured on Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, CNN, CBS, and Entrepreneur Magazine.

Here are some highlights from our conversation:

When we meet someone, over 80% of our judgments are based on two traits: warmth and competence.
The faster we can answer the following questions, the faster we can connect with people: Can I trust you? Can I rely on you?
Even in the virtual world, we can communicate effectively and give and receive social cues.
Myth: cues are less important on a video call.
Pro tip: Stand more than 18 inches away from the camera in an online meeting to avoid appearing to invade participants' intimate space. This helps others trust us more easily and see more cues, especially gestures, which is important because people use gestures to get additional information.

Enjoy!

Have a question? Text me 1-206-309-5177 Tweet me @chasejarvis

--- Today's episode is brought to you by CreativeLive. CreativeLive is the world's largest hub for online creative education in photo/video, art/design, music/audio, craft/maker and the ability to make a living in any of those disciplines. They are high quality, highly curated classes taught by the world’s top experts -- Pulitzer, Oscar, Grammy Award winners, New York Times best selling authors and the best entrepreneurs of our times.

These are the questions that bestselling author and human behavior expert Vanessa Van Edwards seeks to answer in her new book, "Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication."

Vanessa believes these "cues" have a huge impact on how we, and our ideas, come across and can either undermine or reinforce our message.

In today's episode, I talk with her about her book—and how we can convey likeability, trust, and power in every interaction.

Here are some highlights from our conversation:

When we meet someone, over 80% of our judgments are based on two traits: warmth and competence.
The faster we can answer the following questions, the faster we can connect with people: Can I trust you? Can I rely on you?
Even in the virtual world, we can communicate effectively and give and receive social cues.
Myth: cues are less important on a video call.
Pro tip: Stand more than 18 inches away from the camera in an online meeting to avoid appearing to invade participants' intimate space. This helps others trust us more easily and see more cues, especially gestures, which is important because people use gestures to get additional information.

Enjoy!

Have a question? Text me 1-206-309-5177 Tweet me @chasejarvis

Previous Episode

Why I Don’t Set Resolutions (and What I Do Instead)

Here we are at the end of February - how are those New Years Resolutions going? 😁

There is so much hype built into our society around resolutions. We often associate them with huge goals, and things we want to accomplish, rather than behaviors we want to embody. If 64% of all people fail their resolutions within one month of starting, what is the common factor that makes them so hard to stick to?

Over the years, I developed another method to review my habits and set new ones. In this episode, I share my method along with some new habits I set for myself in 2022.

If you've struggled in the past with goal setting or just want to try another way to look at your habits, this behavior oriented system might be for you.

Enjoy!

Have a question? Text me 1-206-309-5177 Tweet me @chasejarvis

Next Episode

Joy is the Way

Do you have a big dream, but you're having trouble making progress?

There is one simple thing you can do to start moving, and re-train your brain to operate autonomously, prioritize joy. Once you make this contract with yourself to pursue joy on a regular basis, you start to create inertia.

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In this episode I share a few thoughts on how prioritizing joy on a daily basis can have tremendous positive impacts in other area of life.

So are YOU following joy? Share this message with a friend who needs to hear it.

Enjoy!

Have a question? Text me 1-206-309-5177 Tweet me @chasejarvis