The "Cake Doesn't Count" Podcast

We all have those days where we just can't stop snacking or eating sweets.

I'm sharing a story and some tips in today's episode!

Written by Jenn Hand, Holistic Nutritionist, Board Certified Health Coach, NBC-HWC

When I was in the throes of dieting and bingeing, I remember sobbing in endless frustration and despair over not being able to stop eating. As I began to heal my food issues over the years, I stopped binge eating and want to share with you the way I got there.

I was 26 and had just broken up with my boyfriend of almost four years. Although I knew it was for the best, I was still heartbroken.

I'd been through years of healing on this journey but still couldn't resist the pull towards cookies and Reese's to soothe my aching heart.

If you had told me then I'd one day be "done" bingeing, I wouldn't have believed you. But fast forward to today and here I am.

If you're feeling stuck, frustrated, angry at yourself for not being able to "just stop eating", I get it.

This path is mind numbingly frustrating at times, as it feels like it should be easy to do what we know we should: just stop eating.

But if you're reading this, then there is a part of you that still believes, you CAN stop bingeing.

Hold on to that quiet whisper inside--that is what kept me going when I had my darkest moments of wanting to give up.

If you prefer to listen at the podcast, do so here:

This might sound counterintuitive, as we're "supposed" to be in touch with hunger and fullness and eat according to that.

The problem is that when we first start, we are so far from hearing our body's signals that don't know how.

So I used the clock to guide me. (BTW--there is more on this in the first two chapters of my book: How to Be a Normal Eater)

I began eating every 3 hours, like clockwork. It was terrifying.

But it also felt good to have something to guide me--I wasn't left to my own whims of hunger/fullness.

Every 3 hours, I would eat. My meals were small, as I was still in the diet mindset, but I worked to let my body normalize her rhythms.

This is a crucial step, as it worked to stabilize my blood sugar after years of all over the place eating.

I was fueling my body in a way that was steady and even throughout the day--I didn't go long hours without eating and I wasn't ravenous at the end of the day because I hadn't eaten much.

Explore what works for you--is it every 3 hours? Are you more in touch with hunger to use that to guide you? Do you do well with 3 meals a day?

Look at how to begin stabilizing your blood sugar by eating regularly and often (this gives you more balance mentally and emotionally, as well, so you can dive into the deeper reasons behind bingeing)

The amount of rules ingrained in my mind around food was astonishing.

• • Carbs are bad
  • I can't eat after 7 pm
  • Sweets are off limits during the workweek
  • I can only have oatmeal or yogurt for breakfast
  • Cheese is fattening so don't eat it
  • I have to eat a salad for lunch

That was only the start of my list!

I knew these were hindering my progress, because it only set me up for rebellion.

The more rules I had, the more I ended up rebelling in a binge.

So slowly, but surely, I chipped away at the rules. I began with easier ones and worked to expand them.

For example: I had a "I shouldn't eat bread" hard rule.

Carbs were easier for me than desserts (I binged more on dessert than carbs), so I began with that.

I intentionally had a piece of bread with my salad 3x a week for lunch. That felt doable for me--scary ("uh oh, if I eat bread will I gain weight?!) but not so far outside my comfort zone, that it felt terrifying.

I used self-talk and mindfulness to help me "allow" myself to eat the bread.

And I was pleasantly surprised! I didn't spiral out of control and it didn't end up in a binge.

I actually felt MORE satisfied with my salad when I ate a piece of whole wheat bread with it.

It takes diligence (and of course, it won't be perfect!) but it can be so helpful to chip away at the old tapes--we often binge in a response to the diet tapes going on in our minds.

What are your diet and food rules? Begin with a few of the less scary ones to see where you can experiment with relaxing and challenging them :)

Written by Jenn Hand, Holistic Nutritionist, Board Certified Health Coach, NBC-HWC

If you search, "how to stop the binge and restrict cycle", google gives you over 4.4 million entries in just under 4 seconds. That means there is A LOT of information to sort through to understand what would actually help. I've compiled the most useful information, that has helped both me and my clients, in one place for you to help you move forward and know where to focus :)

When we diet, we are restricting calories and typically depriving ourselves of calories, fuel and/or the foods we deem "bad".

Our bodies need a certain level of fuel. Even if we are sitting on the couch all day, our body is burning calories to circulate blood, beat our heart, and run all the systems of our bodies.

So if we are caught up in the sneaky diet mindset or trying to adhere to a specific plan (or calorie count), it ends up backfiring.

Not eating enough typically ends up causing us to overeat. This can happen at night after a day of low-calorie eating or after a few days of "good" eating.

Over time, it can lead to spikes of hunger and a ravenous appetite (since our bodies need fuel and we don't give it enough!), and may end up in a binge.

The body eventually rebels and wants MORE fuel.

When we're not eating enough, it can feel almost impossible to use willpower or discipline, since we are essentially trying to override our body's natural signal for fuel.

Dieting in any form is usually one of the main causes of a binge.

Stress, boredom, anxiety, depression, and hard emotions can all be a trigger to binge.

Eating can be a way for us to numb out, distract ourselves and deal with the challenges that life throws at us.

Typically, those of us who've struggled with food grew up learning that food was a way to deal with life.

We don't learn how to move through difficult feelings, express our wants/needs, and deal with the hardship that life can throw our way.

So as adults, this pattern has become ingrained in us.

And as we grow, life gets harder.

We have more obligations, responsibilities, financial worries. We need to navigate the challenges of relationships, parenting, a career and the ups and downs of life.

Food becomes our way out and can create a pattern of bingeing.

Sometimes when we are in the hum drum of life, we lack pleasure. Life becomes one endless to-do list after another, with obligations, responsibilities and chores to finish.

Food becomes a way to add pleasure and enjoyment to our lives.

This doesn't always end up in a binge, but many people turn to food to add excitement and it can spiral into overeating.

Desserts, carbs and sweets add "delight" to the routine elements of raising kids, working a 9-5, taking care of a house/apartment, paying bills and managing all of life's tasks.

Often times a deep desire for more pleasure, fun, adventure and enjoyment in life can be manifested in a binge.

If you'd rather listen to the podcast, you can find it here:

One of the hardest parts of this path is the "how LONG will it take?!" question.

I asked this 1800+ times over the course of my healing.

The diet world trains us to expect instant results so we come in to this path with a sense of impatience.

We want "results" fast and we want them now.

The problem is, if we've spent years, decades or a lifetime in the diet/overeat cycle, it takes time to heal and normalize the body.

You can find the full ins and outs (with dates and how long each stage took) here.

Early on, I convinced myself that I "shouldn't" need help in dealing with food issues.

After all, children were starving in Africa, people dealt with serious tragedies, and the world had bigger problems.

How could I wrestle with something as simple (or "dumb") as food?

Honestly, I felt ashamed. I was embarrassed that I had no "real" problems...I had a good family, great friends, and life was good.

Except I deeply struggled with food and my weight.

And I couldn't get a handle on it on my own. Admitting this was huge.

Getting help changed my life. It allowed me to shift perspective, gain clarity and make faster progress.

There are free and low cost options like support groups, 12 step groups, sliding scale therapists, counselors th...

Written by Jenn Hand, Holistic Nutritionist, Board Certified Health Coach, NBC-HWC

Ever wonder about those people who just go through their lives, not worrying about what they're eating? They're the "normal" eaters; the ones who just eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full. If you struggle with obsessing over eating, here's how to stop thinking of food and what to do instead!

When I was in high school, I had a close friend who was naturally thin and didn't have any eating "issues" like I had. Debbie was tall, slender and ate like...well, a normal person!

I was desperately struggling with weeks of bingeing, followed by weeks of restriction, so I looked to Debbie for inspiration. How did she eat? What were her behaviors around food?

I studied her closely. When our group of friends hung out, she would indulge in whatever we all had: chicken fingers and pizza, cookies and chips. (<--how high schoolers eat ;) )

The difference was that she didn't eat a lot of anything. If we had a pasta party for track (the night before the event, the team gets together to "carb load", a sports tradition), she wouldn't only eat garlic bread, spaghetti and cookies. She had some salad, some veggies, and a variety of the food that was offered.

And because she was a close friend, I knew she didn't THINK about food all day the way I did. She ate at the pasta party and didn't give it another thought after the evening ended.

Me on the other hand?

I agonized over how to "save up my calories" leading up to the pasta party, fretted over what to eat when I got there, and hated myself for eating too much post-party.

Whereas she didn't think about food at all, I spent all of my waking hours worrying and obsessing over what to eat or not eat.

Over the years, I studied "normal" eaters. I learned how they approached food and how they developed a very non-chalant attitude towards what they ate or didn't.

If you prefer to listen to the podcast, do so here:

One of the reasons we think about food is when our bodies actually NEED to eat! When we're trying to control our food (or looking to lose weight), we often don't eat enough.

Those sneaky diet tapes in our mind think it's better to eat as little as we can and go as long as we can without eating.

We may try to be "really good" and not have an afternoon snack, but then arrive famished to dinner (and end up overeating).

I did a post on what I eat in a day and many people emailed me to say they were surprised and how MUCH I ate.

And my old diet brain says that too :)

But that's where my hunger was and I was honoring my body.

Our minds very easily can tell us "no, you shouldn't be hungry" or "no, you don't need that snack", when in reality our bodies actually need fuel!

Pay attention to how much you're eating and make sure the sneaky diet mindset isn't dictating what you eat :)

One helpful tip to ensure your body is balanced is to add protein to every meal and snack.

Adding in protein (any kind: lean meat and poultry, dairy, vegetarian protein, beans and legumes, protein powders, etc) helps you digest your food more slowly and reduces cravings.

Protein is what enables your body to regulate your blood sugar (it prevents a quick spike and crash when you just eat a simple carb) and then helps you feel more even-keeled.

You can experiment with different proteins and see how they impact your hunger/satiation levels. I still notice that when I eat more protein (i.e. eggs and toast for breakfast vs a bagel with butter), I'm way less cranky, can last longer without another meal, and feel much more balanced.

This is the cardinal sin when you're in the diet world.

Being satisfied with what you eat is non-existent (you follow a plan or regime no matter what it tells you to eat) and is almost blasphemy.

I did a talk a few years ago at a gym and I remember many of the people in the audience were so perplexed at this concept.

They didn't understand why it was so important.

When you're satisfied with what you're eating, you can leave the table and not think about food again until you eat next.