A Self-Talk Tweak to Boost the Odds of Achieving Your Goals

04/13/25 • 6 min

My daughter and I have been binge-watching past seasons of The Amazing Race for some months now, and the psychology nerd in me has become increasingly fascinated by one particular aspect of the show.

The participants’ self-talk.

As in, what do participants say when they run into a task that feels impossible or beyond their abilities?

“I can’t”

When participants start saying “I can’t,” they often stop trying and appear to be on the verge of quitting altogether. After all, “can’t” is a pretty disempowering word.

The reality of course, whether it’s eating snake meat or swimming laps in a bog or bungee jumping into a ravine, is that when push comes to shove, they discover that they absolutely can do these things.

So how much of an effect does self-talk like this have on us, actually?

Well, a 2011 study found that when participants replaced the word “can’t” with 🫢🫢🫢🫢, they were eight times more likely to achieve their goals!

Get all the nerdy details here:

A Self-Talk Tweak to Boost the Odds of Achieving Your Goals

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Have you ever wondered why it is exactly that things often sound better at home than they do on stage?

If you’ve been confused (and frustrated) by the inconsistency of your performances, I put together a FREE 4-minute quiz called the Mental Skills Audit, which will help you pinpoint your mental strengths and weaknesses, and figure out what exactly to adjust and tweak in your preparation for more consistently optimal performances.

It’s 100% free, takes only 4 minutes, and you’ll get a downloadable PDF with a personalized breakdown of where you stand in six key mental skill areas. You'll also get the Pressure Proof Practice Challenge, a free 7-day email course where you'll learn specific practice strategies that will help you perform your best, even under pressure.

Take the quiz here: bulletproofmusician.com/msa

My daughter and I have been binge-watching past seasons of The Amazing Race for some months now, and the psychology nerd in me has become increasingly fascinated by one particular aspect of the show.

The participants’ self-talk.

As in, what do participants say when they run into a task that feels impossible or beyond their abilities?

“I can’t”

When participants start saying “I can’t,” they often stop trying and appear to be on the verge of quitting altogether. After all, “can’t” is a pretty disempowering word.

So how much of an effect does self-talk like this have on us, actually?

Well, a 2011 study found that when participants replaced the word “can’t” with 🫢🫢🫢🫢, they were eight times more likely to achieve their goals!

Get all the nerdy details here:

A Self-Talk Tweak to Boost the Odds of Achieving Your Goals

* *
Have you ever wondered why it is exactly that things often sound better at home than they do on stage?

Take the quiz here: bulletproofmusician.com/msa

Previous Episode

Linda Chesis: On Cultivating a More Beautiful Sound and Becoming a Better Practicer

Ever get that overwhelmed feeling in the practice room? Where you know there’s a ton of work to be done, but you’re not quite sure where to start or what exactly to do?

Maybe you’re not happy with your sound, or your intonation is sketchy, or perhaps it’s one of those days when it feels like everything needs attention?

We only have so much time and energy, so what are we to do?

Flutist Linda Chesis is a soloist, chamber musician, educator, and festival director. She was a student of Jean-Pierre Rampal at the Paris Conservatory, a top prizewinner at the Paris and Barcelona International Competitions, and has been a longtime faculty member at the Manhattan School of Music and Chair of the Woodwind Department.

In this episode, Linda shares insights on how to cultivate a more beautiful sound, walks us through a checklist for what exactly to listen and look for when listening back to recordings of ourselves, and how to manage and organize our practice time when we have too much music to learn and not quite enough time:

Get all the nerdy details and connect with Linda here:

Linda Chesis: On Cultivating a More Beautiful Sound and Becoming a Better Practicer

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Have you ever wondered why it is exactly that things often sound better at home than they do on stage?

Take the quiz here: bulletproofmusician.com/msa

Next Episode

One Way Parents Can Help Their Kids Be Less Anxious

It's hard to be a parent and not worry about one's kids. Especially when it comes to public performances, competitions, or auditions, whether big or small.

But doesn't it feel like sometimes a parents' worry is contagious? Where their stress or worry rubs off on their child, and the kid starts worrying or feeling more pressure as the performance approaches too?

The answer is not to tell your students' parents to chill out and stop worrying, of course. Because that's not likely to happen no matter what you say! 😅

But the research suggests that there are better or more productive ways to worry. So if a parent is going to worry, they might as well worry the right way.

Wait...what? There are better and worse ways to worry?

Get all the nerdy details in today's episode. References available here:

One Way Parents Can Help Their Kids Be Less Anxious

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Have you ever wondered why it is exactly that things often sound better at home than they do on stage?

Take the quiz here: bulletproofmusician.com/msa