Break On Through by The Doors

Explicit content warning

08/14/20 • -1 min

tcr! diaries - podcast

content: Dec 1, 2017 · podcast: Aug 14, 2020

Audio (MP3): 20171201 - Break On Through by The Doors

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOpQjD-rX0g

Peeps, here’s your the-gate-is-straight Friday jam.

Listening to The Doors when I was 9 and 10 opened up my musical world so much more than bands like the Beatles did. Don’t get me wrong, I love yellow submarines as much as the next u-boat commander but I met the darkly cool poet persona in songs like The End and Waiting for the Sun. I became all too familiar with the torture of losing friends, and of longing for closure when I was a teenager.

Hearing Morrison sing, “waiting for you to tell me what went wrong” still resonates with me as much as it did when I was in junior high. I could relate to that so much more than when Lennon and McCartney sang, “I wanna hold your hand.” I never held girls’ hands in school.

Along with the vocals and lyrics in Break on Through, the gritty distorted guitar, the vox continental organ, the bossa nova drums always remind me of driving, accelerating, smashing through whatever it is that keeps me locked up inside myself.

Powerful stuff when you’re a kid.

Anyways, put on some headphones, find your other side. 😊

#musicvideos #thedoors #diariespodcast

Karly · Dec 1, 2017 at 11:28 am

I related more to People Are Strange...and still do...

tcr! · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:06 pm

Yep, I’m with ya. My streets are still uneven.

Wilkins · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:01 pm

Have you read “No One Here Gets Out Alive”

tcr! · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:08 pm

No... reason being is that my brother Scott used to carrying it around his bedroom like it was his personal bible. That kinda turned me off :)

Wilkins · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:21 pm

well.....read it for yourself.....it was written for you too.....damn good book...

Momma J · Dec 1, 2017 at 2:34 pm

The author is? Jim Morrison?

Wilkins · Dec 1, 2017 at 5:04 pm

Danny Sugarman I believe

Wilkins · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:22 pm

One of my fave songs by the Doors is “Love Street”......

Monohon · Dec 4, 2017 at 1:35 pm

Whisky bar

Add a comment!

Got 30 seconds? Take the super duper, quick and easy podcast survey! Please. 😊

Love the show? Make a donation! Because you're the best. 💖

tcrbang.com · Instagram · Facebook · YouTube

content: Dec 1, 2017 · podcast: Aug 14, 2020

Audio (MP3): 20171201 - Break On Through by The Doors

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOpQjD-rX0g

Peeps, here’s your the-gate-is-straight Friday jam.

Powerful stuff when you’re a kid.

Anyways, put on some headphones, find your other side. 😊

#musicvideos #thedoors #diariespodcast

Karly · Dec 1, 2017 at 11:28 am

I related more to People Are Strange...and still do...

tcr! · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:06 pm

Yep, I’m with ya. My streets are still uneven.

Wilkins · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:01 pm

Have you read “No One Here Gets Out Alive”

tcr! · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:08 pm

No... reason being is that my brother Scott used to carrying it around his bedroom like it was his personal bible. That kinda turned me off :)

Wilkins · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:21 pm

well.....read it for yourself.....it was written for you too.....damn good book...

Momma J · Dec 1, 2017 at 2:34 pm

The author is? Jim Morrison?

Wilkins · Dec 1, 2017 at 5:04 pm

Danny Sugarman I believe

Wilkins · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:22 pm

One of my fave songs by the Doors is “Love Street”......

Monohon · Dec 4, 2017 at 1:35 pm

Whisky bar

Add a comment!

Got 30 seconds? Take the super duper, quick and easy podcast survey! Please. 😊

Love the show? Make a donation! Because you're the best. 💖

tcrbang.com · Instagram · Facebook · YouTube

Previous Episode

Just the same as me

content: Aug 20, 2017 · podcast: Aug 11, 2020

Audio (MP3): 20170820 - Just the same as me

When I'm behaving badly it's because I'm scared or my feelings are hurt or I’m upset or whatever. It’s not something I just do. There’s a reason there. And I've always appreciated it when other people have let me off the hook when I was acting badly. So long as I didn’t act too bad or push it too far.

With that said when other people are behaving badly I can make a fairly safe assumption that they’re acting that way because they’re hurt or sad or upset. For one reason or another, just the same as me. I would do well to take a step back and remember how I’ve felt when I’m hurt and then think, “they could be feeling the very same.” And I can show that same kind of love and tolerance towards them that others have shown me.

Everybody struggles in life. Everybody has shit they’re going through and everybody acts badly. I don’t have a dysfunction monopoly.

So. This is all easy for me to say when I'm not in the middle of an argument with someone. But in those times I can always pause and ask for help because I don't do well in those heated moments. My mouth flies open and before I even know it I’m firing off angry texts or lashing out with a forked tongue.

Just taking a minute to calm down, to get my feelings back to normal — that always works. I'm too prone for a knee-jerk response and pausing has been one of my go-to reactions since getting sober again.^[1]

In related news... The other night I was driving down the street in my neighborhood, going maybe three or four miles an hour over the speed limit. Five at most. Not incredibly fast because it’s my neighborhood and I have Maggie and my neighbors have kids, too. But I wasn’t doddling either. And then there was this dude standing maybe two feet into the street by his parked car. Holding his baby. In the dark. I barely saw them and only did because the streetlight kind of brought them out of the shadows. And so then as I was driving by the guy yells, “SLOOW DOOWN.”

Instantly and immediately I was kind of pissed like, “Go fuck yourself. The fuck are you doing standing in the street holding your kid?”

Whatever. 🙄

Okay, so flash forward a couple days later and now I’m thinking that wasn’t the best thing that I could've said or thought or felt. Ya, I probably could've been driving slower, driving the speed limit but it’s not like I was drag racing or something.

But once again the thing that bugs me is that this scene has flashed before my eyes a couple times since then.^[2] I don't really feel like I did anything wrong but it keeps flashing none the less. I think maybe because there were too many times when I didn't say something and I could have. And I should have.

So when things happen where I feel like that I am in the right and don't say anything, well those things get on my nerves. It’s like I’ve got a whole backlog of them screaming to get out. It’s not like I'm running around with a headful of hate or anything but the feelings just don’t go away after I’ve felt and let them go. There obviously hasn’t been closure yet.

Kind of bothers me that I just can't be confident enough to know that I didn't do anything wrong. And not only that but more importantly it also bugs me that I'm not so spiritual to honestly look at his side of it. Think to myself how that guy must’ve felt, standing by his car with his newborn and here I come roaring down the street faster than I should’ve considering the circumstances. And ya, I probably could and should pay more attention to what other people are feeling. What’s going on in their lives.

I wish I could be more loving in general, more of the time than I already am. Sometimes it's hard to with the world we live^[3] in but I’ll never ever go wrong or feel bad for being a better person.

#advancedsoul #diariespodcast

Keep in mind, sometimes it is appropriate to be inappropriate. Let the universe be your guide when you rage outrage. ↑
I’m sure I’ve written of similar before. In fact I know I have. ↑
Chances are that guy was just being an ass because he was “right.” ↑

keamoose · Aug 21, 2017 at 11:07 am

Normally I’m...

Next Episode

Having a party of one

content: Aug 18, 2020

Video (MP4): 20200818 - Having a party of one

Audio (MP3): 20200818 - Having a party of one

Not long ago I was in the 7-Eleven in Geneva. There was maybe three other people waiting to pay. One of the guys was five-ish years younger than me and barely-stand-up drunk. He was having a party of one, talking to himself, and talking to the other people even if they were doing their best to: not encourage him. To ignore him. And wait out his staggering around non-sense. Like when you tough out a deep cleaning at the dentist.

7-Eleven had their ambient classic rock playing over the ceiling speakers and the drunk dude turned around and asked the guy in front of me, “Who sings this song? Damn, this is good. I can’t remember what they’re called.” The second guy is like, “I don’t know who sings it” in all out pretty much disgust with drunk dude.

Then drunk dude leaned over in an intoxicated way and said to me, “You gotta know who this is...” Not wanting to engage I bluntly interrupted him with, “I don’t know who it is. Sorry.” I didn’t even bother to make eye contact as I snubbed him.^[1]

Because I have plenty of social anxiety. And the last thing I wanted was for the other patrons to think I knew drunk dude or that I was even okay associating myself with him. I‘m not above standing in contempt of people who don’t take care of themselves. Especially in a crowd.

Drunk dude must’ve realized that nobody was going to party with him as we stood in line to check out. He went back to mumbling to himself, nodding barely in time to the music, and then the room’s overall tension eased up. Like when the deep cleaning is almost, almost over.

As I stood there relieved that I’d avoided any kind of social awkwardness I watched drunk dude shuffle up to the cashier’s counter. Now that nobody’s eyes were on me I could wrangle a little compassion and my thoughts wandered back to a “one time...”

One time in the mid 2000s one of my brother’s drunk dialed me in the middle of the day from a gas station pay phone. He was wanting to party over the phone and I wanted little to do with all that. I ended up hanging up on him after he engaged in obscenities with people walking past him.

“What the fuck are you looking at? I’m talking to my little brother.”

I felt embarrassed for him and I wasn’t even there. Not everybody is the man trying to keep you down. And I didn’t want to be known as the “little brother” on the other end of another drunk dude’s phone.

That was the last time I’ve talked to him. Because drunk and sober is not like strawberries and blueberries. It’s like strawberries and mushrooms. It’s repulsive.

And I would guess that my brother was just trying to bond like we did when we were teenagers. Like when we would do our drunken stumbles into the Cedar Rapid’s 7-Eleven to shoplift more drinks and more cigarettes. And maybe steal a wheelchair.

But. My take on the saying “you can never go home” is that you can never re-capture that magic. Life’s about making new memories and having new adventures. Sure, you can rekindle fires but you can’t burn the same logs. You gotta chop some new wood.

And then also, it does takes a lot of courage to reach out to someone and make that phone call. It’s not an easy receiver to pick up. Drinking empowers those of us who’re broken.

I miss that brother and I get what he was trying to do from that payphone but nobody wants to talk people who are drunk. Unless you yourself are drunk.

So as I stood there in line at the this story’s 7-Eleven I thought about my brother and thought about the drunk dude who’d just left. “I’ve been there. I’ve been that guy.“

Many years ago of course, but I’ve called people in the middle of the day and in the middle of the night all fucked up. Been staggering drunk in public more times than I can count. Tried to be chummy good friends with people I wasn’t friends with. Bond with strangers...because really, when I was sober I felt alone. I just wanted human contact with someone I knew.

For too many people drinking relieves the anxiety of being in public, of dialing the number. It’s that empowerment thing. Just opening up and talking to people. Drinking gave me that little boost I needed to overcome and simply have (o...