tcr! diaries - podcast

Got 30 seconds? Take the super duper, quick and easy podcast survey! Please. 😊

Love the show? Make a donation! Because you're the best. 💖

Audio (MP3): 20180210 - What to do when someone bails the conference call

What to do when someone bails the conference call

tcr! diaries - podcast

03/11/18 • -1 min

content: Feb 10, 2018 · podcast: Mar 11, 2018

Question posted to Facebook:

Just got stood up for an 8am conference call. Any suggestions for punishments for the offending party?

My answer:

I just like to stay on the call even when nobody shows up. I relax, have a nice cup of tea for an hour or so. Enjoy the silence. Wonder what I'm getting for my birthday this summer. Wonder why I still think about my birthday presents at this age. Sometimes I'll even check the expiration date on my Hot Tamales. Have you ever had a stale Hot Tamale? Don't bother. They're the worst.

Abandoned conference calls are one of those rare moments in life when you get a freebie. Like when you pull into a parking spot where the previous guy over paid. You have an hour, all expenses paid trip to wherever you wanna go. Nothing can touch you because you’re booked for that time slot. And then when your boss asks “how was the call” you can say, “Pretty low-key. No real action items on my end.”

#worknews #missedconnections #diariespodcast

Got 30 seconds? Take the super duper, quick and easy podcast survey! Please. 😊

Love the show? Make a donation! Because you're the best. 💖

Audio (MP3): 20170821 - tcr diaries podcast now available

tcr! diaries podcast now available

tcr! diaries - podcast

09/17/17 • -1 min

content: Aug 21, 2017 · podcast: Sep 17, 2017

So this is a thing now. Keep your expectations low. I mean like really low. I don't know if it'll be anything more than just an audio version of a written piece. We'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll ad-lib now and then. Maybe I'll play the piano. At this point I'm just trying to get used to the sound of my own damn voice. 😘

You can listen on iTunes
And you can listen on SoundCloud
And you can listen on Google Play Music
And you can listen on Overcast
And you can listen on Pocket Casts
And you can listen on TuneIn
And here's a subscribe link for your podcast app: tcrbang.com/podcast/rss/

And finally, you can also listen right on the site with the #diariespodcast hashtag.

There'll be an audio version toward the bottom of each article.

Anyways, on with the show...

#diariespodcast

Got 30 seconds? Take the super duper, quick and easy podcast survey! Please. 😊

Love the show? Make a donation! Because you're the best. 💖

Audio (MP3): 20180417 - Like I'm going to fall over

Like I'm going to fall over

tcr! diaries - podcast

10/25/21 • -1 min

content: Apr 17, 2018 · podcast: Oct 25, 2021

I haven’t been writing as much because I’ve been struggling with my nicotine addiction. All sorts of things happen and don’t happen when I try to quit.

Sometimes I’ll spout off something about quitting on social media or whatever but lately I’ve just been keeping my struggles to myself. Because unless somebody was a daily smoker for over 30 years, they don’t really get it. I know people are trying to help but move along. Sometimes we just need to vent.

And then vaping made my addiction even worse because I could do it anywhere at anytime. I would vape at Maggie’s school during her recitals and in team meetings at work, too. I would use my vapor in the dentist’s restroom before I went in to see them.

When I go into withdrawal my ears will ring. Ring to the point that I can hear them in the next room. My head will start to hurt. Like I have a vice slowly squeezing my temples. It’s not a sharp pain but dull and warm and oh so intense. And when it’s really bad I’ll start to get lightheaded. Like I’m going to fall over. Detox always makes my stomach bloated and gurgly regardless of which drug it is. My intestines will fill with witches brew and putrid toxins.

I’ve not been sleeping that great at night which makes it hard for me to concentrate throughout the day. Concentrate on writing or whatever. And then because I’m tired I drink more caffeine. In the early evening when I’m dragging both feet I'll make a couple cups of coffee because I’m missing my old smoking friend. I’ll jump from one drug to another. Trade this addiction for that one. I didn’t realize I was even doing it at first with the coffees because when you’re a drug addict the addiction is sneaky and silent.

I've quit smoking probably 20 times and generally end up smoking again because the physical pain gets to be too much. And I know that if I smoke or vape or whatever all that pain goes away.

And then I stopped this morning and bought a pack cigarettes because the hellfire withdrawal had been kicking my ass for the better part of two days. I’ll do that every now and then, buy a pack, smoke one or two and then throw the unsmoked away.

I never tell anyone when I buy a pack of cigarettes because everybody is always disappointed. Because I’m the poster child for success or something.

...

It was snowing this morning. In the middle of April. And as I was standing outside the gas station smoking, a guy came up to me and asked for a cigarette. He had to be at least 20 years younger and wasn't wearing a winter coat. He was missing half of his index and middle fingers on one hand. He had a plastic grocery sack full of things he hadn’t bought recently.

He seemed reluctant to ask me for a smoke but he still did because nicotine is a powerful bitch. I gave him three cigarettes and he was more than grateful. I could see the look of relief on his face. I treated him with dignity and respect because all people deserve that no matter where they are in life. No matter what really.

He reminded me of my 19 year old self when I lived in Cedar Rapids with one of my brothers. No job, no money, and desperately needing something to fill my soul. Standing in the morning snowfall regardless of the cold, feeding my addictions however I could.

Somehow I made it out of that era with all my fingers and toes attached. But I easily couldn't have. Somehow I made it out of that life alive and now have my own house, a career, beautiful daughters, a gorgeous girlfriend, and all that.

Somehow I made it over the hump and to the place where I have a choice in life.

Driving away I wish I would’ve given him the whole pack. I wanted to tell him that he could make it out, too. Make it out of whatever place he was in. That life is bigger than where your next cigarette comes from.

But I didn’t think about any of that until I was driving away. Plus, I’m suspicious by default.

Anyways, never underestimate the impact you have on people, especially strangers.

#confessional #smokersunite #diariespodcast

Audio (MP3): 20180805 - When I be my best self

Got 30 seconds? Take the supe...

When I be my best self

tcr! diaries - podcast

08/05/21 • -1 min

content: Aug 5, 2018 · podcast: Aug 5, 2021

I’ve been working on my magazine pretty much since I got up, trying to get the July issue all done and off to the printer. Sometimes the pages and layouts just spill onto my screen effortlessly. It’ll sound kinda corny but when I do my best creative work it feels like the cosmos is directing me. That whatever I’m doing just comes out all on it’s own.

Same goes with writing or whatever, too. They’re not my words, they come from somewhere else. It’s like being funny. Everybody knows that we’re not funny when we’re trying to be.

So if I force shit, it just never works. I end up frustrated and hating it. I need to let go and let the cosmic river take me where it sees fit.

Anyways, I’d earmarked today to get this latest issue finished. I was plenty social yesterday and Maggie’s with her mom and I got nothing else going on. I just wanted to be alone and channel my expressive side. Plus, I needed to make things a priority now and then or I won’t get them done. And I had early 80s music on and everything. The B-52s.

But the last 4-5 pages weren’t coming together. I was pushing crap around, rearranging content, deleting shit. Forcing my artistic hand and nothing was working.

And then a thought came to me that wasn’t my own. Because I’m selfish and my best ideas are never mine.

I messaged Sara:

I don’t know if Hope is still with you or what your plans are until this evening, but if you wanted to hangout for an hour or two or whatever my magazine stuff can always wait.

We set up plans for a couple of hours later and then, because I got out of me and what I wanted, put someone else before all that, the stars aligned and everything fell into place. Those last pages of the magazine came together with little effort and little time. The universe spirit moved my hands to paint for me.

Okay, that was definitely corny but it’s true. When I be my best self, the best things happen to me. My magazine is more or less done and I get to see a beautiful girl.

And then Hungry Like The Wolf by Duran Duran came on and life was complete.

#diariesmagazine #advancedsoul #diariespodcast

sadiebug92 · Aug 5, 2018 at 4:00 pm

Beautifully written. Love the honesty. ❤️

tcr! · Aug 5, 2018 at 4:41 pm

Thank you!!

sadiebug92 · Aug 5, 2018 at 5:12 pm

You’re welcome :)

Momma J · Aug 5, 2018 at 6:06 pm

Sometimes just need to take a little pressure off the creativity part of us which of course is what you did. You might consider dropping in your magazine from monthly to bi-monthly?

tcr! · Aug 5, 2018 at 8:54 pm

I’ve thought about it but months are easy to keep track of 😊

sara · Aug 5, 2018 at 8:56 pm

No, we ate tacos and THEN life was complete. 💃

Momma J · Aug 5, 2018 at 8:58 pm

Love it!

Audio (MP3): 20180309 - Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay

Got 30 seconds? Take the super duper, quick and easy podcast survey! Please. 😊

Love the show? Make a donation! Because you're the best. 💖

Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers & Coldplay

tcr! diaries - podcast

05/25/21 • -1 min

content: Mar 9, 2018 · podcast: May 25, 2021

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM7MFYoylVs

Peeps, here’s your batman-with-his-fists Friday jam. I know I’ve said this before but I absolutely hated songs like this in another life. Jams like this would come on when I was a teenager or in my 20s and I'd turn that shit off.

I was pretty dumb and pretty snotty when it came to music. But I guess more than that I’d never felt the magic with another person they were singing in their ballads. My gut reaction was then to always condemn their melodies. Fuck them guys like Coldplay.

And then after my first divorce I learned that being alone was my choice. It wasn’t fate or destiny. It was my shitty attitude.

So in the here-and-now I know what they’re talking about. I’ve felt something “just like this” and it changed everything.

If you never have felt a love song then don’t worry. That feeling’s out there. It may be just around the corner. A person you may or may not know is waiting, is looking for you, too.

But first don’t be an all around jerk. Throw away your bullshit and open yourself up to nonfictional fairy tales. There’s a love song with your name on it. Somebody’s holding out for a magical adventure. Just with you.

Make sure you’re ready for them.

And then hold their hand when you run away together.

#musicvideos #thechainsmokers #diariespodcast

Got 30 seconds? Take the super duper, quick and easy podcast survey! Please. 😊

Love the show? Make a donation! Because you're the best. 💖

Audio (MP3): 20201124 - stubborn elephantz mp3

stubborn elephantz.mp3

tcr! diaries - podcast

11/24/20 • -1 min

content: Nov 24, 2020

Please enjoy another song I wrote/played/recorded sometime in the early 2000s. Except for the elephant samples. The elephants own their own copyrights.

Alias: grahm sexton
Title: stubborn elephantz.mp3

#tcrmusic #diariespodcast

Got 30 seconds? Take the super duper, quick and easy podcast survey! Please. 😊

Love the show? Make a donation! Because you're the best. 💖

Audio (MP3): 20180124 - Coming up short after 12

Coming up short after 12

tcr! diaries - podcast

09/24/20 • -1 min

content: Jan 24, 2018 · podcast: Sep 24, 2020

Video (MP4): 20180124 - Coming up short after 12

Well into my way of twelve step recovery I confused the word “practice” with “perfected” somehow.

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and had perfected practiced these principles in all our affairs.
-- Step 12 of Alcoholics Anonymous

I thought that because I’d worked all the other steps and had arrived at number 12 that I should be over some hump. Passed the bump. Made the jump. Maybe even overflowing with love while walking with spiritual principles or whatever.

Like I had crossed some finish line because I had had a spiritual awakening.

It wasn’t something that I consciously thought. I knew the step used the phrase “practiced these principles”, similar to applying them but for whatever reason I was holding myself to a "perfected" standard. Below the surface. Like not holding myself wide awake in front of my eyes, but more like how that creepy horror show music playing softly in the background holds you.

Of course then would feel like I was coming up short and imperfect. And not know why.

But... Just because I’ve had that spiritual awakening that doesn’t mean I’ve perfected anything. I have to continue to practice the principles much the way Maggie needs to practice her cello.

Granted with working the others steps and making it to twelve I have been elevated to a new plane of existence but I’m not cured or healed. By any stretch.

Okay that “elevated” part sounds a bit arrogant. But I have changed.

It's funny how our minds can know something but then deeper down in the canyon we believe or feel something else.

If something's bothering me, I should investigate. Even if it seems minor.

If anything is making me feel bad about me, something's off. No matter how slight or subdued or subliminal it may feel.

I need to have a look under the covers to see what's going on, see what's what. And in this case then discard that ridiculous notion of perfection. Just because I got to a certain point in life that doesn't mean I'm going to stay at that point. I need to continue to do those things that got me there.

#advancedsoul #twelvesteps #diariespodcast #diariesvideo

jimi hindrance experience · Jan 26, 2018 at 9:42 am

“You’d be arrogant too if you were me.”—-jimithesaint said that. i was here and heard him say it. If I ever learned anything that I still remember it’s to take everything with a grain-o-salt, “Don’t become a Saint by Tuesday.” “This Too, Shall Pass.” You’re not as good or bad as your best/worst self says you are. You’re a whole lot more human than human.

T, I love you more than sitting next to T——, the girl with the best boobs in the office.

tcr! · Jan 27, 2018 at 7:45 am

“Don’t become a Saint by Tuesday.” — I love that one.

And thanks! You’re one of my best friends since my first self-imposed divorce.

Momma J · Sep 25, 2020 at 5:34 pm

Love you, my son. You are kind and sincere and doing well

tcr! · Sep 25, 2020 at 8:11 pm

Thank you, thank you!

Momma J · Sep 25, 2020 at 8:27 pm

You’re welcome!

Audio (MP3): 20171201 - Break On Through by The Doors

Got 30 seconds? Take the super duper, quick and easy podcast survey! Please. 😊

Love the show? Make a

Break On Through by The Doors

tcr! diaries - podcast

08/14/20 • -1 min

content: Dec 1, 2017 · podcast: Aug 14, 2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOpQjD-rX0g

Peeps, here’s your the-gate-is-straight Friday jam.

Listening to The Doors when I was 9 and 10 opened up my musical world so much more than bands like the Beatles did. Don’t get me wrong, I love yellow submarines as much as the next u-boat commander but I met the darkly cool poet persona in songs like The End and Waiting for the Sun. I became all too familiar with the torture of losing friends, and of longing for closure when I was a teenager.

Hearing Morrison sing, “waiting for you to tell me what went wrong” still resonates with me as much as it did when I was in junior high. I could relate to that so much more than when Lennon and McCartney sang, “I wanna hold your hand.” I never held girls’ hands in school.

Along with the vocals and lyrics in Break on Through, the gritty distorted guitar, the vox continental organ, the bossa nova drums always remind me of driving, accelerating, smashing through whatever it is that keeps me locked up inside myself.

Powerful stuff when you’re a kid.

Anyways, put on some headphones, find your other side. 😊

#musicvideos #thedoors #diariespodcast

Karly · Dec 1, 2017 at 11:28 am

I related more to People Are Strange...and still do...

tcr! · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:06 pm

Yep, I’m with ya. My streets are still uneven.

Wilkins · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:01 pm

Have you read “No One Here Gets Out Alive”

tcr! · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:08 pm

No... reason being is that my brother Scott used to carrying it around his bedroom like it was his personal bible. That kinda turned me off :)

Wilkins · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:21 pm

well.....read it for yourself.....it was written for you too.....damn good book...

Momma J · Dec 1, 2017 at 2:34 pm

The author is? Jim Morrison?

Wilkins · Dec 1, 2017 at 5:04 pm

Danny Sugarman I believe

Wilkins · Dec 1, 2017 at 12:22 pm

One of my fave songs by the Doors is “Love Street”......

Monohon · Dec 4, 2017 at 1:35 pm

Whisky bar

Got 30 seconds? Take the super duper, quick and easy podcast survey! Please. 😊

Love the show? Make a donation! Because you're the best. 💖

Audio (MP3): 20180123 - Why I never answer my cell phone

Why I never answer my cell phone

tcr! diaries - podcast

03/09/21 • -1 min

content: Jan 23, 2018 · podcast: Mar 9, 2021

A few years back someone by the name of Floyd inadvertently gave my cell number to his insurance agent. And then that domino’ed into my number getting on every insurance company’s call list.

I’ve tried being nice to them, tried asking them to put me on their DO NOT call list. I’ve tried being mean, tried being funny, tried all sorts of things to get them to just stop. I even told them for a while that Floyd was dead and didn’t need insurance anymore.

But once you get on any kind of insurance call or mailing list, you’re screwed. You might as well throw your phone in a dumpster, shave your head, and go live the monkeys. It won’t matter that you’re not Floyd. They’ll find you and call you from Troy, NY and from Arlington, MA and from La Grange, IL and from even from La Habra, CA.

Same goes for car dealerships. I get about five emails a week asking if I want to renew the manufacturer’s warranty for the Nissan Cube I bought in 2011. They’ll even throw in a free oil change. I don’t even own the Cube anymore. Last sales guy that called me, I told him that Cube was the biggest piece of shit I’d ever owned.

Please note: this is why I never answer my cell phone. Even if the caller ID says that you’re in my contacts, I won’t believe it. One time an incoming call came up with my mom’s number and it turned out to be Jaclyn Smith. Okay, that’s a lie but man, did you guys ever watch her in Charlie's Angels? Never mind, Jaclyn has nothing to do with Floyd.

I looked up Floyd once on my lunch break. I can’t remember his last name but I do remember that he is/was a doctor. Dr. Floyd. Probably watching Netflix and filing out a GEICO car insurance quote and then typo’ed his cell number. That’s the kinda thing that happens when all your appointments get filled for the day and you throw a fit.

I don’t know if Dr. Floyd is still alive or not. He’s dead to me. Him and the insurance he rode in on.

Anyways, below is a script I tend to use if I’m feeling feisty and an unknown caller rings me for Floyd.

Season to taste but use your best southern goofball accent:

“Floyd? Well no, Floyd can’t come to the phone right now. He’s over in county lockup. He’s framed a course. He didn’t steal those 12 quarts a syrup like Randy said. He knew about Randy’s plan ahead a time but jus knowin’ don’t make ya a maple thief!

I don’t really blame ol’ Randy for wanting to steal all that syrup. Boy, I do like that, that syrup from the Walmart.”

If the caller is still with me I continue with:

“Well hell, ya probably jus wanna talk with Floyd. If ya got a pen I can give you his address over at county.

What was your name again? Ya sound familiar. Were ya at the Earlville Country Club last weekend?”

PS- If I go off on a Charlie's Angels tangent for a few days, this is why.
PS×2- instagram.com/helloitsjaclyn/

#doctorfloyd #missedconnections #diariespodcast

tcr! · Jan 23, 2018 at 3:46 pm

Looks like Floyd is looking to expand his doctoral operations out west 🤔