
Building a company and family, the responsibility cloak, mistakes and setting irrevocable guidelines | Nick Soman (father of 2, Decent, Gusto, Amazon)
06/20/23 • 48 min
1 Listener
Nick Soman is the founder and CEO of Decent, a healthcare company that helps small businesses band together to get more affordable health insurance for their employees. Prior to that he led growth for Gusto, was a product manager on the Kindle at Amazon, and started a company that he sold to Napster! In this episode we discuss:
- How Nick's parents influenced his own parenting
- The challenging early times as a Dad and startup leader
- Discoveries he's had as a Dad
- The importance of partnership in your marriage and how to navigate conflict
- His "irrevocable guidelines" around family
- Silicon Valley hustle culture and incompatibility with family life
- Bringing his own values into his company
- Many mistakes he's made as a father and what they've taught him
—
Where to find Nick Soman:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/nicksoman
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicksoman/
Where to find Adam:
Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fishmanaf
—
In this episode, we cover:
[1:50] Introductions
[2:36] Nick and Decent Health
[4:28] Nick’s background
[7:08] His Parents
[8:58] Family life and Starting a family
[12:27] Challenging early times as a Dad
[16:00] Responsibility cape/choice vs. obligation
[17:12] Masculine energy/Nature vs. Nurture
[20:44] Dad discoveries/Do as I say, not as I do.
[24:41] Dissonance between partners
[25:32] Importance of partnership/conflict
[28:00] Marriage advice
[30:22] How do you and your wife recharge?
[32:46] “Irrevocable guidelines” around my family
[33:27] Silicon Valley “hustle culture”
[34:19] A trap he fell into/a walkabout
[37:44] Bringing values into his company
[40:46] Mistake he’s made as a father
[44:28] Rapid fire round
—
Links we reference:
Rivian
https://rivian.com/
“Hold Me Tight,” Dr. Sue Johnson
https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Me-Tight-Conversations-Lifetime/dp/B084G9QFZY/ref=sr_1_2?crid=194BNQXYUKRWA&keywords=hold+me+tight+sue+johnson&qid=1680733560&sprefix=hold+me+tight+sue+%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-2
Nick's company, Decent
https://www.decent.com/
Andy Johns - How to Know When to Stop
https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/how-to-know-when-to-stop
—
Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/
Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com
Nick Soman is the founder and CEO of Decent, a healthcare company that helps small businesses band together to get more affordable health insurance for their employees. Prior to that he led growth for Gusto, was a product manager on the Kindle at Amazon, and started a company that he sold to Napster! In this episode we discuss:
- How Nick's parents influenced his own parenting
- The challenging early times as a Dad and startup leader
- Discoveries he's had as a Dad
- The importance of partnership in your marriage and how to navigate conflict
- His "irrevocable guidelines" around family
- Silicon Valley hustle culture and incompatibility with family life
- Bringing his own values into his company
- Many mistakes he's made as a father and what they've taught him
—
Where to find Nick Soman:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/nicksoman
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicksoman/
Where to find Adam:
Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fishmanaf
—
In this episode, we cover:
[1:50] Introductions
[2:36] Nick and Decent Health
[4:28] Nick’s background
[7:08] His Parents
[8:58] Family life and Starting a family
[12:27] Challenging early times as a Dad
[16:00] Responsibility cape/choice vs. obligation
[17:12] Masculine energy/Nature vs. Nurture
[20:44] Dad discoveries/Do as I say, not as I do.
[24:41] Dissonance between partners
[25:32] Importance of partnership/conflict
[28:00] Marriage advice
[30:22] How do you and your wife recharge?
[32:46] “Irrevocable guidelines” around my family
[33:27] Silicon Valley “hustle culture”
[34:19] A trap he fell into/a walkabout
[37:44] Bringing values into his company
[40:46] Mistake he’s made as a father
[44:28] Rapid fire round
—
Links we reference:
Rivian
https://rivian.com/
“Hold Me Tight,” Dr. Sue Johnson
https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Me-Tight-Conversations-Lifetime/dp/B084G9QFZY/ref=sr_1_2?crid=194BNQXYUKRWA&keywords=hold+me+tight+sue+johnson&qid=1680733560&sprefix=hold+me+tight+sue+%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-2
Nick's company, Decent
https://www.decent.com/
Andy Johns - How to Know When to Stop
https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/how-to-know-when-to-stop
—
Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/
Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com
Previous Episode

Welcome to the Startup Dad podcast!
Welcome to the very first episode of Startup Dad!
Every week, Adam Fishman will interview entrepreneurs, leaders, founders, and many people you may have heard advice from before. This time it's different because they're also all fathers. Instead of talking about product development, the latest growth strategies, or fundraising we talk about balancing work with family life, parenting strategies, and the hard and hilarious parts about parenting.
Get full access to the FishmanAF Newsletter at www.fishmanafnewsletter.com/subscribe
—
Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/
Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com
Next Episode

The importance of role models, raising a child with special needs, advocating for your kids | Adam Grenier (father of 3, Eventbrite, Masterclass, Uber)
Adam Grenier is VP of Growth at Eventbrite, a ticketing company that is bringing the world together through live experiences. Prior to that he led growth for Masterclass and Lambda School, was an EIR at Reforge and was Head of Growth Marketing at Uber. He's also a loving husband and the father of 3 kids, including an autistic son. In this episode we discuss:
- Adam's humble upbringing in the Midwest
- How he got into improv and made his way to California
- Poop (of course)
- Raising a child with special needs
- How to communicate your capacity to your spouse
- Advocating for your children
- Some of the shame around parenting
- Setting up family guardrails and balance
—
Where to find Adam Grenier
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AKGrenier
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/akgrenier
Where to find Adam Fishman:
Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fishmanaf
—
In this episode, we cover:
[1:23] Introductions
[2:11] Adam’s Background
[7:12] Parents
[9:26] Discussing Role Models
[11:19] Arriving in California, Adam’s wife and kids
[20:08] Talk about Poop
[21:45] What it’s like with a special needs child
[24:15] Discussing capacity and Brene Brown
[26:06] How to advocate for your child
[31:55] Shame around parenting
[33:38] New parent support group anecdote
[34:06] Family guard rails
[37:12] Parenting disagreements
[39:03] How to balance work and family
[45:25] Rapid fire round
[51:21] Parting advice
—
Links we reference:
Second City
https://www.secondcity.com/
SNL
https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live
Brene Brown
https://brenebrown.com/
Butt Cream
https://www.forbes.com/health/family/best-diaper-rash-cream/
—
Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/
Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com
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