THE HIDDEN HEART: Revealing Your Emotional Truth

01/25/25 • 32 min

In this episode we diver deeper into how the “hidden” parts of our awareness, specifically Hidden Feelings and Emotions. Hidden feelings and emotions can contribute to feeling drained, anxiety, and strain in relationships. We will continue to work with the JOHARI window as the model for brining what is “hidden” into the “open” domain.

📖 Explore More:

Learn more about the JOHARI Window in our episode - “Blind spots, secrets, and the unconscious: JOHAR Window, Paths to being more Open.”

https://youtu.be/rAD5RvexdH8
Brené Brown “Atlas of the Heart” https://a.co/d/bhWrgxcOn HBO Max, https://brenebrown.com/hbo-max-presents-brene-brown-atlas-of-the-heart/

Emotions & Feelings Vocabulary List: https://www.ndapandas.org/wp-content/uploads/archive/Documents/News/FeelingsWordList.pdf

DISCERNMENT REFLECTION:

Identify a feeling or emotion you keep hidden.
Rate the intensity. 1-10.
What do you wish you could disclose and write it down. “If I could be completely honest right now...”

STEPS TO INCREMENTAL DISCLOSURE

Identify GREEN (easy), YELLOW (more challenging), and RED (difficult) emotions
Start with sharing Green emotions more intentionally until it feels natural.
Then try sharing Yellow feelings and emotions with someone you trust.
Finally, try sharing Red emotions with your most trusted person/people.
Use “I” language or “I am feeling X in response to situation Y, because it causes/triggers/means Z”
Practice will lead to it becoming easier.

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(c) 2024, 2025 Karen Lee Lynskey & Christina Caro
___________________________________________
Disclaimer - This content is the personal opinions of Christina Caro, PhD and Karen Lee Lynskey and is for informational and educational purposes only. This is not...

"Text us your thoughts and questions!"

📖 Explore More:

Learn more about the JOHARI Window in our episode - “Blind spots, secrets, and the unconscious: JOHAR Window, Paths to being more Open.”

https://youtu.be/rAD5RvexdH8
Brené Brown “Atlas of the Heart” https://a.co/d/bhWrgxcOn HBO Max, https://brenebrown.com/hbo-max-presents-brene-brown-atlas-of-the-heart/

Emotions & Feelings Vocabulary List: https://www.ndapandas.org/wp-content/uploads/archive/Documents/News/FeelingsWordList.pdf

DISCERNMENT REFLECTION:

Identify a feeling or emotion you keep hidden.
Rate the intensity. 1-10.
What do you wish you could disclose and write it down. “If I could be completely honest right now...”

STEPS TO INCREMENTAL DISCLOSURE

Identify GREEN (easy), YELLOW (more challenging), and RED (difficult) emotions
Start with sharing Green emotions more intentionally until it feels natural.
Then try sharing Yellow feelings and emotions with someone you trust.
Finally, try sharing Red emotions with your most trusted person/people.
Use “I” language or “I am feeling X in response to situation Y, because it causes/triggers/means Z”
Practice will lead to it becoming easier.

Previous Episode

WHEN BLAME BECOMES A SHIELD: Understanding Our Response to Trauma

"Text us your thoughts and questions!"

Nine days after the historic devastation of the Los Angeles wildfires that destroyed over 12,000 homes and structures, we explore the psychological instinct to “Blame” as a response to trauma, the hidden costs of blame as an act of protection, and how to bring compassion and awareness to the moment.

📖 Help With the Recovery:

With threats of withholding aid coming from the soon-to-be installed national leadership, we are grateful to all the people who have stepped forward to help our citizens and communities start the long road to recovery. Blow are links to vetted organizations where you can volunteer or donate to help the survivors.

Los Angeles Regional Food Bank: https://www.lafoodbank.org/fire/#:~:text=Many%20organizations%20locally%20coordinate%20disaster,our%20many%20disaster%20response%20partners.

World Central Kitchen https://wck.org

Pasadena Humane Society https://pasadenahumane.org

LA Strong: https://lacity.gov/LAstrong

Next Episode

HIDDEN EXPECTATIONS: When Silence Speaks Volumes

"Text us your thoughts and questions!"

In this episode we diver deeper into how the “hidden” parts of our awareness, specifically Hidden Expectations. Hidden expectations can contribute to more, not less, stress and discontent in relationships. We will continue to work with the JOHARI window as the model for brining what is “hidden” into the “open” domain.

📖 Explore More:

Learn more about the JOHARI Window in our episode - “Blind spots, secrets, and the unconscious: JOHAR Window, Paths to being more Open.”

https://youtu.be/rAD5RvexdH8

From “Can you?” To “Willing to?” A Game-changing Ask https://youtu.be/161vVpM2XVQ

On how the Hidden contributes to conflict:

“Conflict Avoidance: The Cost of Pretend Harmony: https://youtu.be/un-mDRite2s

“Assuming: The Killer of Curiosity” https://youtu.be/d4ssF4EwV2k

“So you want to stop avoiding conflict: Now What?” https://youtu.be/oPBId3fVLZo

“Boost Team Dialogue: 8 Game Changing Behaviors: https://youtu.be/02wcjyjG8jE

SELF-AWARENESS EXERCISE:

Notice when you have strong emotional reactions like disappointment or resentment.
Was there an unmet need?
Was I expecting mind reading?
What behavior or action were you ‘expecting’ from the other person?
Are my expectations reasonable?
Where does this expectation come from?
Did you communicate that expectation? Did you communicate ALL the connected expectations?
Practice communicating expectations using “I” statements: “I have an expectation of....” As opposed to “You should....”