Self-Regulation Toolkit Part 2: Fight or Flight

Explicit content warning

10/01/20 • 21 min

Sex.Love.Power.: Sacred Sexuality, Conscious Polarity, and Waking Up In Love

If you have a nervous system, you need this episode. It's the second part of an accessible and entertaining introduction to your nervous system and the crucial cranial nerve known as the Vagus Nerve.
If you ever:
- react strongly to your partner and want to fight or flee or both
- feel exhausted, at an emotional or energetic level, by your day
- feel like you just need time *alone* but seldom seem to get enough to want to reconnect
You'll learn how to notice what state you're in and discover specific ways to strengthen your vagal response so that, given time and care, you can gladly come back into connection.
As you listen to this episode, you'll hear about:

Part two of our conversation about your nervous system and how to make the most of it so that you can settle down.
How the nervous system is used to move ourselves from a frozen state to be able to access a "fight or flight" state and ultimately, to be able to access the most responsive, connected places.
Why the "fight or flight" response happens and how to recognize it in yourself and what to do when you're in it.
How the fight response ultimately not only affects your relationship and your love but also damages your bodies AND how YOU can to stimulate the vagus nerve so it will turn on a relaxation response

And more. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Secret Society on Mighty Networks.

“If you're locked in battle with your partner all the time, it's costing you. It's costing you physical health and longevity to be in that state. So if you think about it, by calling a timeout, or saying, "Let's take a break. We'll come back to this when we're calmer." That is, to your mind, escaping.

- Dr. Jessica Pullins

HOT MOMENTS IN THIS EPISODE:

Recap of part 1 and making the most of your nervous system so you can settle down (01:40)

Ways the nervous system reacts to a perceived threat and how to make the choice that is safest for your body (04:18)

Why even though we may not want to hurt people our nervous system may uncharacteristically act out & do so (06:19)

How recognizing, "Nothing good can come" can save a relationship (08:26)

The harmful cascade of stress chemicals when we are our nervous system is in a state of fight or flight (10:27)

How you can soothe your nervous system on your own by rubbing and pulling on your ears or smoothing your face with your hands (16:16)

Join the conversation by listening, share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples’ Circle on Mighty Networks.

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Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

Part two of our conversation about your nervous system and how to make the most of it so that you can settle down.
How the nervous system is used to move ourselves from a frozen state to be able to access a "fight or flight" state and ultimately, to be able to access the most responsive, connected places.
Why the "fight or flight" response happens and how to recognize it in yourself and what to do when you're in it.
How the fight response ultimately not only affects your relationship and your love but also damages your bodies AND how YOU can to stimulate the vagus nerve so it will turn on a relaxation response

And more. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Secret Society on Mighty Networks.

- Dr. Jessica Pullins

HOT MOMENTS IN THIS EPISODE:

Recap of part 1 and making the most of your nervous system so you can settle down (01:40)

Ways the nervous system reacts to a perceived threat and how to make the choice that is safest for your body (04:18)

Why even though we may not want to hurt people our nervous system may uncharacteristically act out & do so (06:19)

How recognizing, "Nothing good can come" can save a relationship (08:26)

The harmful cascade of stress chemicals when we are our nervous system is in a state of fight or flight (10:27)

How you can soothe your nervous system on your own by rubbing and pulling on your ears or smoothing your face with your hands (16:16)

Join the conversation by listening, share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples’ Circle on Mighty Networks.

Previous Episode

Self-Regulation Toolkit Part I: Regulating The Freeze Response

If you have a nervous system, you need this episode.
And particularly if you ever:
- react strongly to your partner and want to fight or flee or both
- feel exhausted, at an emotional or energetic level, by your day
- freeze up and find yourself unable to speak, move forward, or interact
This intro to what's REALLY going on, and what you can do about it, can be life-changing. It's self-care, it's relationship elevating, it's good.

Next Episode

Are you not asking for more for fear you’ll hurt his feelings?

As you listen to this episode, you'll hear about:

How tamping down your dreams and ambitions for your relationship could adversely affect your marriage
The reasons it’s hard to ask a man for something different in love or sex
The game changing 7 tips that will get you talking to your husband about what you want more of
How to claim more joy, lightness and pleasure in your life
What happens when we’re in bed with the patriarchy

And more. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Secret Society on Mighty Networks.

“For each woman, the journey to creating the relationship we really want starts with two things. One: enough devotion to the vision of passion and closeness that you’ve been gifted with, and two: enough skillfulness to be able to talk to your husband in a kind and visionary way. “

Michele Lisenbury Christensen

HOT MOMENTS IN THIS EPISODE:

How not talking to your husband about things that would make your love deeper or your sex better could be keeping your bedroom from getting hotter. 01:18

Why women are so protective of men's feelings because of mistaken beliefs that men are sensitive to criticism or fragile in the face of women’s erotic desires. 03:09
The 7 keys to talking to your husband about what you'd like more of. 12:23

KEY 1: TIMING 12:27

KEY 2: CONSENT 12:41

KEY 3: INTENTION 13:19

KEY #4: RECIPROCITY 13:43

KEY #5: POSITIVE FOCUS 14:17

KEY #6: CURIOSITY 14:54

KEY #7: RESILIENCE 15:23

Tune in to Episode 009 to learn about another huge factor in why we don't get what we want from our partners even when we think we've asked a thousand times, and how we can reverse this problem.
Join the conversation by listening, share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples’ Circle on Mighty Networks.