Performance Anxiety & Performative Sex
Explicit content warning
08/15/23 • 36 min
2 Listeners
We all experience performance anxiety in bed from time to time. We get in our heads, we worry we’re not hot / good / skilled enough, and sometimes we try to be people we’re not during sex. That’s why today’s episode is about identifying different types of performance anxiety, so that we can show up more confident and relaxed for sex. First I talk through O-blockers: common reasons your orgasm and overall pleasure hit a limit. Next I bring up popular “personas” people adopt in bed, like the cool girl/guy who’s down for whatever (even when you’re actually not) and the super dominant, in-charge lover (even when you’re actually more submissive). Finally, I give you strategies to increase your sexual confidence and take all of your sexual anxiety questions.
See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com
Show Notes:
- Prostate Play: The Comprehensive Guide
- 5 Libido-Boosting Aphrodisiacs to Try In and Out of the Bedroom
- VIIA Hemp Co’s High Love Libido Gummies (code EMILY for 15% sitewide + Free Gummies Sample)
- SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $69)
- The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure
- Want more? Sex With Emily: Home
- Let’s get social: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | TikTok
- Let’s text: Sign Up Here
- Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We all experience performance anxiety in bed from time to time. We get in our heads, we worry we’re not hot / good / skilled enough, and sometimes we try to be people we’re not during sex. That’s why today’s episode is about identifying different types of performance anxiety, so that we can show up more confident and relaxed for sex. First I talk through O-blockers: common reasons your orgasm and overall pleasure hit a limit. Next I bring up popular “personas” people adopt in bed, like the cool girl/guy who’s down for whatever (even when you’re actually not) and the super dominant, in-charge lover (even when you’re actually more submissive). Finally, I give you strategies to increase your sexual confidence and take all of your sexual anxiety questions.
See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com
Show Notes:
- Prostate Play: The Comprehensive Guide
- 5 Libido-Boosting Aphrodisiacs to Try In and Out of the Bedroom
- VIIA Hemp Co’s High Love Libido Gummies (code EMILY for 15% sitewide + Free Gummies Sample)
- SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $69)
- The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure
- Want more? Sex With Emily: Home
- Let’s get social: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | TikTok
- Let’s text: Sign Up Here
- Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Previous Episode
Best Of: Secret Orgasm Hacks
This is how an orgasm works. It’s a symphony of mind, nervous system, blood flow and muscle spasms, all syncing up to give you oh-so-wonderful sensations. But what if you’ve never had an orgasm before? Or what if you do experience them – but want them to be better? In today’s popular Best Of episode, I explain the science behind orgasms and how to make yours amazing. I tell you what to do if you’ve never had an orgasm before, give you tricks for elevating your orgasms, and even share a few unexpected erogenous zones where you can orgasm (nipplegasms, anyone?). I also take your orgasm questions including: when the sex is great, but you just can’t climax with your partner, what gives?
See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com
Show Notes:
- 6 Essential Sex Toy Hacks
- How to Train Your Vagina
- SONA 2 Travel from LELO (code SEXWITHEMILY for 25% off sitewide)
- SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $69)
- The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure
- Want more? Sex With Emily: Home
- Let’s get social: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | TikTok
- Let’s text: Sign Up Here
- Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Next Episode
Hotline Calls: Rough Sex & Rim Jobs
It’s Hotline Calls time! And we’ve got one common theme: trust - the foundation of hot sex. Because when you trust yourself and the person you’re with, you can fully let go in bed and relax into your deepest pleasure. When oral sex gets too rough, how can you ask your partner to be more gentle and respectful? I’ve got some thoughts. When your partner doesn’t love booty play – but you definitely do – can you still ask for a rim job? Let’s say your partner goes to strip clubs, and it makes you super uncomfortable. How do you set boundaries together? Finally, when you’re the non-primary partner in a polyamorous relationship, what resources can you turn to for advice & guidance?
Have a question? Call my Hotline 559-TALK-SEX (559-825-5739) or message me at sexwithemily.com/askemily.
See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com
Show Notes:
- 5 Libido-Boosting Aphrodisiacs to Try In and Out of the Bedroom
- Is My Penis Normal?
- SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $69)
- System JO Flavored Lube
- System JO Tri-Me Triple Pack: Limited Edition
- System JO Tri-Me Triple Pack: Neapolitan
- Polysecure, Jessica Fern: Bookshop | Amazon
- Opening Up, Tristan Taormino: Amazon | Barnes & Noble
- Open Deeply, Kate Loree: Bookshop | Amazon
- “The Challenges of Being a Secondary,” Conscious Polyamory
- “Being Secondary While Putting Yourself First,” Multiamory
- Polyamory in BLACK!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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