Riding Out of the Darkness: How a Young Equestrian Learns to Ask for Help
02/03/23 • 74 min
In today’s episode, Oakley talks with a resilient client who faced down a particularly dark night filled with despair and thoughts of suicide. This young woman shares the story of the stressful external situations that seemed to perpetuate her suicidal idealizations, including a difficult relationship with her coworker and roommate. Oakley challenges her client and listeners to view all relationships as mirrors into the truth of our own psyches. Through this exercise, the young woman uncovers unhealed dynamics in her past relationship with her mother and the stories she believed about herself based on those early experiences.
One of humans’ basic fears sometimes leads us to wonder, “Am I lovable?” Oakley’s client speaks candidly about her struggle with isolation and feelings of invisibility which inevitably led to depression and hopelessness. When she recognized the danger of her situation, she reached out to trusted friends and signed up for therapy. Something within her wanted to prove to herself and the people in her life that she is stronger than whatever threatens her happiness and peace. By recognizing that making decisions in an emotional state is not conducive to wellness, she gave herself time to experience and express those dark emotions. Once she honored her authentic self, she was able to move through those times when life didn’t feel worth living. Opening ourselves up to be loved exactly how we are allows us to integrate parts of us we may have exiled from childhood trauma or familial conditioning. Self awareness helps us engage in the world as a whole, healed individual.
Main Topics
- Spectrum of suicidal idealization and suicide intent (02:25)
- Relationships act like mirrors for us to see ourselves (08:10)
- Paradox of change: People or situations don’t change until we meet them exactly where they are (12:50)
- Law of Resonance: Our vibration attracts energies with the same resonance (21:27)
- Familial conditioning can lead us to hide parts of ourselves (32:16)
- The night of Oakley’s client’s suicidal thoughts (36:00)
- Tools for alleviating and redirecting thoughts of suicide (44:40)
- We become the people we surround ourselves with (55:05)
- Homework assignment: Write a letter to someone you’ve had a challenging relationship with (1:04:33)
Episode Links
988- Suicide and Crisis Line
Want to learn more or apply to be a guest on Sex, Drugs and Enlightenment?
Check out the website!
https://www.sexdrugsandenlightenment.com
Connect with Oakley:
https://www.instagram.com/oakleyogden/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/oakley-ogden-7a86b112/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxn6BnlaAAK_i9utOIg2KOQ
Listen, rate, and subscribe!
In today’s episode, Oakley talks with a resilient client who faced down a particularly dark night filled with despair and thoughts of suicide. This young woman shares the story of the stressful external situations that seemed to perpetuate her suicidal idealizations, including a difficult relationship with her coworker and roommate. Oakley challenges her client and listeners to view all relationships as mirrors into the truth of our own psyches. Through this exercise, the young woman uncovers unhealed dynamics in her past relationship with her mother and the stories she believed about herself based on those early experiences.
One of humans’ basic fears sometimes leads us to wonder, “Am I lovable?” Oakley’s client speaks candidly about her struggle with isolation and feelings of invisibility which inevitably led to depression and hopelessness. When she recognized the danger of her situation, she reached out to trusted friends and signed up for therapy. Something within her wanted to prove to herself and the people in her life that she is stronger than whatever threatens her happiness and peace. By recognizing that making decisions in an emotional state is not conducive to wellness, she gave herself time to experience and express those dark emotions. Once she honored her authentic self, she was able to move through those times when life didn’t feel worth living. Opening ourselves up to be loved exactly how we are allows us to integrate parts of us we may have exiled from childhood trauma or familial conditioning. Self awareness helps us engage in the world as a whole, healed individual.
Main Topics
- Spectrum of suicidal idealization and suicide intent (02:25)
- Relationships act like mirrors for us to see ourselves (08:10)
- Paradox of change: People or situations don’t change until we meet them exactly where they are (12:50)
- Law of Resonance: Our vibration attracts energies with the same resonance (21:27)
- Familial conditioning can lead us to hide parts of ourselves (32:16)
- The night of Oakley’s client’s suicidal thoughts (36:00)
- Tools for alleviating and redirecting thoughts of suicide (44:40)
- We become the people we surround ourselves with (55:05)
- Homework assignment: Write a letter to someone you’ve had a challenging relationship with (1:04:33)
Episode Links
988- Suicide and Crisis Line
Want to learn more or apply to be a guest on Sex, Drugs and Enlightenment?
Check out the website!
https://www.sexdrugsandenlightenment.com
Connect with Oakley:
https://www.instagram.com/oakleyogden/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/oakley-ogden-7a86b112/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxn6BnlaAAK_i9utOIg2KOQ
Listen, rate, and subscribe!
Previous Episode
The Power of a North Star: A Follow-Up
There’s nothing sweeter for a therapist than witnessing how the mindfulness tools offered in sessions bring freedom and transformation for their clients. Oakley listens in awe as her client recounts how visualizing the life she wants on a daily basis has brought necessary change for embodying her dreams. A relationship that was not in alignment naturally ended. She booked a trip she didn’t think would happen this year. Now she’s visiting Europe with the prospect of leaving her job and starting over somewhere new. All of this momentum was created by clearing out mental and emotional baggage and focusing her energy on her future.
As they celebrate these positive shifts, Oakley’s client opens up about her fear and anxiety about making big changes, even though they support her vision for herself. But Oakley assures her this anxiety is a good sign that she’s on the right path towards leveling up. Whenever we step out of our comfort zone towards change, our bodies’ survival instincts kick in. The familiar makes us feel in control and safe. We question ourselves, asking “Am I sure?” There is a difference between intuition anxiety and excitement anxiety. As always, Oakley offers practical tools such as breathwork for calming the body, which helps us navigate between the two. Once the mind is calm, it becomes easier to listen to our intuition. When we make the decision to take a giant leap, sometimes the biggest hurdle is overcoming the doubt and fear that threaten to stifle our creative flowering.
Main Topics
- How the North Star Visualization practice transformed Oakley’s client’s life (01:17)
- Addressing fear and doubt that arise when we set a goal (08:20)
- Surrendering to the momentum may feel unstable at first (12:05)
- Releasing anxiety in order to make decisions (16:20)
- Defining stability and its relationship to our need for control (19:30)
- Primal anxiety vs. excitement anxiety (29:00)
- Box breathing to calm the body and get more clarity (33:25)
Want to learn more or apply to be a guest on Sex, Drugs and Enlightenment?
Check out the website!
https://www.sexdrugsandenlightenment.com
Connect with Oakley:
https://www.instagram.com/oakleyogden/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/oakley-ogden-7a86b112/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxn6BnlaAAK_i9utOIg2KOQ
Listen, rate, and subscribe!
Next Episode
“I’m Not Enough” Releasing Core Beliefs and Stepping into Freedom
What are the beliefs holding you back from living your colossal life? This is the question Oakley poses to her client in this session centered around recognizing, releasing, and replacing negative beliefs that keep us stuck. Her client is a young man who is dedicated to his work both professionally and spiritually, but he’s struggling to feel confident enough to make big decisions for his future. This fear stems from the core belief many humans share: I’m not enough. If you find yourself unable to clearly communicate what you want, you may carry this belief as well. It is a self-protective framework that drives us to perpetually seek validation from external sources and to play it safe. Whatever your inhibiting belief may be, Oakley reminds us that we have the power to redirect that energy and free ourselves from whatever holds us back. To break this young man’s connection to his negative belief, Oakley guides him and listeners through a powerful exercise for reprogramming the brain with love-based perspectives. When we release what no longer serves us, we create space for healing, abundance, and infinite possibilities in this one life we get to live.
Main Topics
- For Oakley’s client, freedom feels scary (03:45)
- The hardest question of all: What do you want? (08:20)
- Moving from codependency to interdependence (10:20)
- Client’s relationship with communication (13:45)
- How the past can influence current relationships (18:50)
- Oakley’s writing practice working with negative core beliefs (19:40)
- A practice for ending the relationship with unhealthy beliefs (29:25)
- Cutting the cord of connection with negative ways of thinking (36:30)
- Visualization for calling in inspiration and positive intentions (41:00)
- Changing the energetic matrix of reality (43:20)
- Client feels the opportunity to think so much bigger about the future (47:20)
- Old patterns may arise and how to address them lovingly (49:15)
- Taking action from a love-based state vs. from old toxic belief systems (55:00)
Episode Links
Want to learn more or apply to be a guest on Sex, Drugs and Enlightenment?
Check out the website!
https://www.sexdrugsandenlightenment.com
Connect with Oakley:
https://www.instagram.com/oakleyogden/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/oakley-ogden-7a86b112/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxn6BnlaAAK_i9utOIg2KOQ
Listen, rate, and subscribe!
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