Katie's Relationship History

Katie expresses trepidation over this episode being “bloody knuckles”

Katie is apprehensive about her privacy being too exposed in this episode. The dance with having a very public social media account and still having boundaries around her private life.

The point of this episode is how our common experiences in relationships have knitted us together as friends. And that everything is a lesson.

WTF about how we keep learning the same lessons over and over and over in relationships.

Katie shares her marriage story. Her relationship with her ex husband is really great. Uncommonly good. She’s proud of the friendship she has with him.

Dating post divorce. Katie was bitter, angry, sad. And her life in the years after weren’t her finest.

Three separate boyfriends that were several years each. All long distance relationships which felt a little safer because they weren’t in “her space.”

Ignoring red flags left and right. Sacrificing precious time with her kids. Her guilt is so heavy.

The live and learn in it is - no relationship is perfect but it should be better than to have to say daily, “no relationship is perfect.” Recognizing at what point its truly unhealthy and a dealbreaker.

Discussing the versions of narcissism. And how that presents in various ways and what does it mean to “draw that to ourselves.” Why do we keep drawing the same into our life?

Unpacking the dynamics of experiencing the narcissistic wheel. Love bombing... to the crazies... to the ending... back to the bomb.

Karen is the most beautiful friend because there was never any shame in coming to her saying - it all fell apart AGAIN... and she never said “I told you so.”

That is LOVE.

Another beautiful piece of their friendship is Karen’s “How would you like me to respond...” answer to a cry for help. The hard truth? Or do you want me to make you feel better? Coach? Or cheerleader?

Katie’s Overall lessons in relationship history...

Lesson #1 - People pleasing and boundaries - what are we learning?

Lesson #2 - Believe who someone is - the FIRST time they show you.

Lesson #3 - When you RETURN to a known unhealthy relationship - you must admit to yourself - there’s something IN IT FOR YOU. You need to confront that if you want to not have it repeat.

The gift at the end of it all was Katies friendship with Karen. Our similarities bonded us together. Karen held Katies hand through the last few years from a place of experience and acceptance.

The growth is in sharing and moving out of the shame of it all and into the place that we are not alone.