Separated At Birth

**Guest Bio:**
Meet Kacey Stephens, a seasoned and certified Life Coach, Reiki Master & Teacher, and Intuitive Psychic Medium with over 35 years of experience in wellness and fitness. Certified in 200-hour Yoga, Kacey has been teaching dance, cardio, sculpt, and Pilates since the age of 15. Her extensive background also includes a BA in Psychology, which she integrates into her holistic approach to coaching.
Kacey empowers individuals on their wellness journeys by blending powerful coaching distinctions, intuition, energy work, and spiritual connection. She helps clients release past narratives and embrace new perspectives to achieve their true desires. As an advocate for authenticity and gratitude, Kacey continuously evolves through her own growth and development with daily practices in meditation, reiki, and yoga, keeps current with her trainings, and immerses herself in the most up to date techniques in holistic wellness
This August, Kacey is co-launching Shed65 in Annapolis, MD.
SHED is dedicated to stress reduction and holistic wellness, offering infrared saunas, a stately cold plunge and salt cave, plus a variety of classes to promote mind, body, and spirit health. Kacey will be heading up and leading classes and programs geared to enrich and elevate people’s lives, not only in the Annapolis Community, but hopefully beyond.
For more on Kacey's services, reach out to her at [email protected] or follow her on Instagram at @energeticmuse. Stay updated on Shed65 at www.shed65.com.
**Favorite Quote:**
"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." — Lao Tzu
Her favorite Mantra jewelry:
www.katiadesigns.com
Use coupon code 112 to receive 15% off today!

Katie expresses trepidation over this episode being “bloody knuckles”

Katie is apprehensive about her privacy being too exposed in this episode. The dance with having a very public social media account and still having boundaries around her private life.

The point of this episode is how our common experiences in relationships have knitted us together as friends. And that everything is a lesson.

WTF about how we keep learning the same lessons over and over and over in relationships.

Katie shares her marriage story. Her relationship with her ex husband is really great. Uncommonly good. She’s proud of the friendship she has with him.

Dating post divorce. Katie was bitter, angry, sad. And her life in the years after weren’t her finest.

Three separate boyfriends that were several years each. All long distance relationships which felt a little safer because they weren’t in “her space.”

Ignoring red flags left and right. Sacrificing precious time with her kids. Her guilt is so heavy.

The live and learn in it is - no relationship is perfect but it should be better than to have to say daily, “no relationship is perfect.” Recognizing at what point its truly unhealthy and a dealbreaker.

Discussing the versions of narcissism. And how that presents in various ways and what does it mean to “draw that to ourselves.” Why do we keep drawing the same into our life?

Unpacking the dynamics of experiencing the narcissistic wheel. Love bombing... to the crazies... to the ending... back to the bomb.

Karen is the most beautiful friend because there was never any shame in coming to her saying - it all fell apart AGAIN... and she never said “I told you so.”

That is LOVE.

Another beautiful piece of their friendship is Karen’s “How would you like me to respond...” answer to a cry for help. The hard truth? Or do you want me to make you feel better? Coach? Or cheerleader?

Katie’s Overall lessons in relationship history...

Lesson #1 - People pleasing and boundaries - what are we learning?

Lesson #2 - Believe who someone is - the FIRST time they show you.

Lesson #3 - When you RETURN to a known unhealthy relationship - you must admit to yourself - there’s something IN IT FOR YOU. You need to confront that if you want to not have it repeat.

The gift at the end of it all was Katies friendship with Karen. Our similarities bonded us together. Karen held Katies hand through the last few years from a place of experience and acceptance.

The growth is in sharing and moving out of the shame of it all and into the place that we are not alone.

Karen discusses her tumultuous childhood which led her to make life altering decisions in her adult relationships. With 3 kids and a spouse in prison, Karen shares what kept her going and how finding love again wasn’t quite what it seemed.

• Are you responsible for recognizing red flags? Karen speaks to the pain she experienced as a kid and how she navigates life overall-it makes you who you are. We’re a product of our experiences and bring you to NOW and to be thankful regardless.
• Growing up one of 4 children, living in an alcoholic household which included many levels of abuse. Her parents divorced when she was 9 but adolescence was no better.
• Karen describes being on her own and working regularly to buy the necessities including shampoo. No AC quite often, free lunch tickets and lived in a battered women’s shelter multiple times.
• Karen’s ability to put multiple outfits together came from trying to stretch her wardrobe and not look like a poor kid. She made a career out of her ability to show up looking the part.
• Knowing her childhood was temporary was something she was counting on because she wanted something more. More stability, more peace.
• Abuse was rampant in her home between being physically abused as well as mentally, emotionally abused.
• Karen’s mother was checked out emotionally and due to always working to survive, just wasn’t around. Sexual abuse was committed by a neighbor as a young child.
• Karen married the “safe” choice who’d never had a drink and was what seemed to be a nurturer/hunter/gatherer type personality, hoping to choose someone who would build a life with her.
• A white-collar crime put Karen’s husband in prison for 5 years, leaving her alone with 3 kids aged 4, 5, 13. Many months behind on rent, a car that was repossessed and selling most of her possessions was the new reality.
• No time to deal with her own depression because of loss (her BIL, father, brother), Karen took on multiple jobs to make it work.
• Karen then met a narcissist who appeared to be everything she needed when in fact he was 100% fake who was married 2x prior. Believing SHE was the one to love him better and SHE understood him. He was in fact, NOT that person.
• Dating is off the table, Karen has had 3 relationships and is retired from dating! She’s convinced that people are NOT who they say they are. Katie is convinced that the only way to really know someone is when life gets hard. Who shows up then? The person who shows up when things are difficult are the REAL personalities in the relationship.
• Feeling a sense of shame from being in a second marriage that then failed, Karen still looks back with a bit of a struggle because she made a life in spite of what she went through.
• Your life is YOUR fault. You choose everything you have in this moment.

Episode 3 Rachel Murray
Katie and Karen have a conversation with entertainment rockstar Rachel Murray where she
discusses her early career and how she left a small town in Pennsylvania to travel the world and
built an enviable career on her own terms. Rachel inspires us to design a life we love.
 Growing up in small town western PA, (Clarion) Rachel realized although she loved her
town, she was a person who wanted more. She learned not to force your life but keep
your foot on the gas and just go for your dreams!
 Whether you’re working in business, racing or on Broadway, dealing with a mixture of
personalities, it’s important not to let things affect you that you don’t have control over.
 You’re not the star in everybody’s show and realizing that you’re only in control of you.
 Being in a performance space, and needing the validation from an audience, it’s an easy
way to start doubting yourself.
 Working at the USO and the humbling experience she had with soldiers and the level of
selflessness she was exposed to really changed her perspective. Understanding what’s
important in life, offered incredible insight and perspective that changed her outlook for
life.
 Rachel dives into the history of her career of wanting to live in NYC, and to be a
performer. She felt led to follow her dreams knowing that she could outwork everyone
around her.
 Rachel emotionally describes how “angels” in her life helped guide her career and open
doors for her.
 Rachel always knew she was destined for more and just went for it!
 Rachel was introduced to the USO by a colleague as a consultant and it evolved into a
full 10yr career serving our country’s heroes.
 She feels the USO experience was so fantastic that nothing will ever be as impactful in
HER own life and she was creating memories for our nation’s heroes.
 Rachel describes transitioning out of her role with the USO knowing she had a gnawing
sense to do something else, another adventure awaited. The decision to leave a
worldclass organization was scary but she kept moving forward knowing there was
something else she was supposed to do.
 Rachel describes what her hometown REALLY thought of her and being a “gypsy” and
constantly being on the move. The importance of being ok with being misunderstood.
 Katie describes her own struggles with being misunderstood by having a career outside
the norm. Her own parents were stable with same jobs and never wanted out of their
town or to make a change. Coming from a place of love but not understanding Katie’s
want to be doing other things.
 Katie proclaims that Rachel’s life was a permission slip to make big moves in her OWN
life and take risks she really wanted.
 Rachel applauds Katie/Karen on their own communities and giving women the
permission to be themselves!
 Male dominated fields are what Rachel is familiar with: from working with the USO,
Formula Racing, etc. Learning to navigate that while being taken seriously.
 Discovering the power of social media and putting yourself out there unapologetically
and how Katie has assisted Rachel in doing that.
 Katie references a podcast she was recently on who are shoulder surgeons and how fun
social media can be by just being YOU.
 Rachel explains how she’s discovered it’s important to NOT be defined by WHAT you
do. Who you ARE is not WHAT you do for a living.
 Karen says her takeaway from Rachel and how’s she lived is that WE CAN DO
WHATEVER WE WANT.
 Rachel discusses how her experience in raising money for the USO taught her how to
establish relationships in the market.
 Rachel describes having a childhood friend whose son was a phenom racer. Hunter
Yeany was the youngest formula 4 champion who needed representation in the media
and branding.

Episode 2 - No Makeup on the Red Carpet. Power Move or Attention Junkie?
Do you wear makeup everyday? Would you attend a formal event without doing your hair or putting on a face of makeup? Why or why not?
In this episode Katie and Karen discuss the “no makeup makeup” look trend as well as celebs in the news wearing NO makeup at all.
• Pamela Anderson showing up at Paris Fashion Week with no makeup, hair unkempt
• CJ (Pamela Anderson) was the hottest thing back in the day and questioning whether “being comfortable in your own skin” looks lazy
• Making headlines for NOT wearing makeup vs. showcasing the clothes
• Sarah Jessica Parker is consistently well dressed regardless of occasion
• Aging vs. not caring-was it a provocation and a poor reflection on the clothing
• Evening dress requires evening face/hair
• Kylie Jenner has a new product that looks like no makeup but is ravaged for it, Pamela Anderson doesn’t wear makeup at all and is applauded
• Questioning Karen about leaving the house without makeup and the deep seated reasons she wouldn’t ever
• Lack of transparency from celebs and their inability to be honest about motivation, own your mess
• Pamela Anderson was a sex symbol, has a sex tape. Put herself out into the media repeatedly barely dressed and wonders why she gets attention
• Katie wants to try different procedures because of her being in the beauty industry and being a MUA and she’s had good and bad experiences
• Katie speaks about Seint makeup and how it’s changed women’s lives but the tik tokification of the makeup industry is a detriment overall
• Makeup is always something the world has been using since the dawn of time. Makeup will be here forever but to what extent? Will people give up on the tutorials because the public is exhausted from the “trends”
• Katie thinks the masses will want the inexpensive, quick and easy options. Karen sets an example like Katie for their daughters. How you show up in clothing/makeup the world responds in kind
• Katie and Karen co-sleep when they visit each other and send each other memes and giggle
• Is makeup a necessary part of the getting ready process? Katie uses makeup as an expression of her personality. She loves seeing other artists and how they flex that creative muscle. What do we need to keep up our selves together and looking good without overdoing it
• Kylie vs. Pamela and the different reactions they received from the public/media alike
• Embracing age vs. letting yourself go and what’s acceptable