This episode is part two of demystifying mental health medicine. Please note, I am not licensed. My knowledge is derived from social psychology education, personal experience, medical consulting and persistent research. While listening keep in mind. I am just a resource, a well read girl with a story. If you need help beyond this podcast, please contact a certified professional.
I recently heard a great quote about patience in a newsletter I receive every week from Farnam Street. It says:
“Patience is not passive, on the contrary, it is concentrated strength.” ― Bruce Lee
"People wait in different ways. Some are passive. Others are active. These two approaches are as different as the results they yield.
Passive patience is waiting for the world to give you the thing you want. A lot of people live their life with passive patience. Rather than go after the promotion at work they expect it to fall in their lap. Rather than go after the love of their life, they sit back and expect to be courted. Rather than chase their dreams, they wait for just the right opening that always seems around the corner but never comes. These people have the wrong kind of patience.
Active patience is different. Active patience demands action and intention, even while waiting for results. Active patience means not only applying for the promotion but taking your time to build the skills you need to put yourself in the best position to succeed. Active patience means starting the business, writing the book, going after the love of your life.
Active patience puts you in the best position to get what you want. There is almost always an action you can take to improve the odds.
Active in the moment but patient with the results.
Active patience."
In many ways, my relationship with my therapist is the medicine. She has taught me how to have a personal connection that has strong boundaries, feels safe, involves respect, care, understanding, maturity, and has the power to grow which maintaining its foundation. I am keenly aware of the cost of therapy and I do my best to prepare deeply for every session. However, oftentimes, as soon as I end up sitting in front of her, I am flooded with all of the things I might otherwise neglect in my usual conversations. Still in those instances she knows how to reel me in, distill, and focus so that I leave our time together feeling at ease and well equipped to move through pressing issues. Though I leave the room, I find that, in many ways, she remains with me. I am able to directly apply her lessons, reconfigure thought patterns in my mind, and find healthy ways to feel better.
Oftentimes, we concern ourselves with the minute details. Like, we have to get up at 5am on the dot or else. I think rituals become more fluid, more possible, when they are less strict. Maybe it’s just earlier. Maybe it’s a timeframe. Or maybe it’s altering another aspect in your life to incentivize an earlier day. For me, building little routines in my life that have positive effect is one of the most effective ways I create rituals that support me.
A while back I learned a really great lesson. I must, no matter what, carve out time in the morning just for myself. Once I get going, even if I solo-task, I really get going. Other things. Other people. They will undoubtedly come first. Which makes me less happy, less fulfilled, less of my best self. So, I have 2 hours carved out in my calendar, everyday, from 6-8am that are labeled: “I am focused on me.” It is a non-negotiable time frame that I’ve set aside for me to sleep, do nothing, walk, read, drink coffee, lift weights, talk to a friend, literally whatever. It doesn’t matter so long as it is not work related, so long as it is purely a form of therapy. Let this serve as your reminder: take care of you first.
Resources: Remedy Place, Psychology Today
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03/03/22 • 26 min
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