Self-Regard

A live discussion between Woke Beauty hostess, Riley Blanks, and creative, scholar and organizer, Virginia Cumberbatch celebrating the debut of Riley Blanks’ self portrait series, Manifest. Here, they share in dialogue focused on identity, representation and claiming space.

Manifest speaks to the lack of authentic representation of women of color in Austin and further, our country at large. Through compelling imagery and writing, Riley dispels the notion that in order for black and brown women to be acknowledged in a cosmopolitan space, they must faultlessly perform. The silver lining around her series proclaims that women of color have the capacity to claim space with their presence alone.

Virginia Cumberbatch’s work sits at the intersection of community advocacy and storytelling. Virginia has served as Director of equity and community advocacy for The University of Texas at Austin's Division of Diversity and Community Engagement, since 2016, helping drive the university's vision to become less of an ivory tower, and more of a community anchor addressing issues of access and equity. Virginia is also the co-founder of Rosa Rebellion, “a platform for creative activism by and for women of color that launch at SXSW 2019.

Miranda Bennett Studio is an ethical women's apparel brand based in Austin, TX. They make exceptional, plant-dyed clothing with an all-woman team in the USA. Their considered apparel is Zero Waste and sustainable by design, prioritizing style, versatility, and comfort. They are a female-founded and independently owned.

Explore more on Woke Beauty at https://wokebeauty.com/

Read a feature on Manifest: https://medium.com/@elaine96almeida/loving-the-liminal-riley-blanks-manifest-and-the-claiming-of-space-9f265274ae1b

Get involved with Rosa Rebellion at: https://www.rosarebellion.com/

Learn more about Miranda Bennett Studio at: https://shopmirandabennett.com/

Follow @wokebeauty, @rileyblanks, @vacumberbatch and @mirandabennettstudio on Instagram.

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Chelsea Francis is a multi-hypenate creative type. She got her degree in Marketing and PR and knew the traditional desk job would keep her away from what she loves most: profound connection. She has been photographing and consulting professionally for over seven years. Her heart is open and her soul is good. She believes that any story doesn’t begin and end with a brand. It begins and ends with a person. Her goal is to capture a story with the images she creates. Her trade as a creative individual isn’t limited to just one thing. She offers photography, brand direction, public speaking, community events and writing. She is grateful to have worked with many prominent platforms such as Tribeza, Glitter Guide, Yellow Giggles and Texas Style Council. She is the founder of Fluffi, a space that allows humans to embrace their full selves. Chelsea is a content creator and truth teller. She has partnered with powerhouse brands such as Madewell and Doc Martins. I am beyond grateful for her heartfelt presence, honest stories, shameless tears, colorful expression and unrelenting allyship.

Follow @wokebeauty @rileyblanks @ohhhchelsea @lovefluffi

Read about (Re)learning to read: https://www.lovefluffi.com/all-posts/building-a-reading-habit

Explore more on Woke Beauty: https://www.wokebeauty.com

Some favorite quotes from Chelsea:

"Using someone else's suffering as a prop to minimize your own doesn’t benefit the person who is suffering."

"For a long time I thought I needed a lot of other stuff to get me to God - whatever that was, whoever that was - now i understand that I don’t need all of that stuff. And that’s about as much as I’ve got figured out about it."

"This time is about the island that you’re building for yourself that no one else gets to live on."

"Nothing matters as much as the moment after you fail."

"Be humble and trust your inner voice."

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To all of our guests and listeners, thank you for a beautiful summer! See you October 7. Some words to ponder till then...

Not fitting is okay.

Our memories and what we choose to remember can also speak to what we choose to forget.

Your skin is your skin. Your body is your body. Cherish it.

It is just so interesting how you can tether or untether yourself from the place that you were born or the place where you grew up. I find that really interesting how it plays a role in our identity.

Exposure and experiences across the spectrum will teach you to process the world and the people who live in it.

Accept then situation for what it is. Find peace in the things that you can control. Be grateful and celebrate the happiness that you can find.

You can change the value of stories by giving them attention. We can literally create culture.

We deserve the right to live in our bodies and we deserve the right to exist... in the way that we were created. That is a fundamental human right.

To be a black woman of mixed race is rather nuanced.

Leave this earth empty. Empty yourself of every gift you have.

Laughter will keep you young and beautiful. Laughter will heal you.

Food is medicine.

Really healthy and really imperative things are often basics, foundational elements of health that cost zero dollars.

Typically, history is written by the winners. Historically, because of colonialism, the winners have not been Black. We need to tell our stories. It’s time to get another point of view.

You have to know why you do something or it has no meaning.

Oftentimes, mixed race people can’t claim any part of themselves. Thus, they have to create their own identity.

Being green is seen as feminine trait, by both men and women... it's really for white women in the suburbs...in urban cities some of the biggest minorities are African American communities.. I was interested in how black men perceive green consumption, do they think it's mascuine or not? We have no research on black men.”

Me phrasing a sentence in a way that's privileged or irresponsible could be super damaging to somebody. On one hand i'm very nervous to be just another white lady contributing to the bullshit and oppression and the system and thats been really me struggling with the okay you do really look like a white lady, you do have those privileges, and you have walked through the world this way so how can you be the white lady and also be the black lady that gets it, how can you be both things?

I want to preserve this feeling, this feeling of fulfillment, this feeling of happiness, so if i have to take risks, travel, do whatever i need to do, jump outside of my comfort zone in order to preserve that feeling, in order to grow that feeling, of waking up everyday and being at peace with what i'm doing, i'm going to do it.

Those things really enable you to astonish people; your intelligence, your timing, how much you listen to people I think is really important.

1.) You can never be too prepared.

2.) Don't be afraid to take up space.

3.) Set boundaries, especially in the work space.

Using someone else’s suffering as a prop to kind of minimize your own doesn’t benefit the person who is suffering, any person who is suffering in the equation.

Truly what other advice is there, other than that? Be humble and trust that inner voice. KNow that you can be wrong and trust that inner voice.

You don't always have to be in people pleaser mode... as a woman especially... we tiptoe around certain people, from a genuine place, not wanting to inconvenience somebody or burden somebody with something that you’re wrestling with. Sometimes someone else will resonate with struggle and sadness and with emotion in a way that brings you closer. It is not a burden, it is an ability to be human together.

I learned from an early age to really understand that there is not a right or wrong way to be, as humans. There are so many different ways to exist.

If we’re in the thick of Fall and no one is hanging out by the pool – whatever – it’s totally fine to go to a pool, put your feet in the water and have a cocktail like it’s summer. I’m huge on living your best life unapologetically no matter what season it is and no matter what somebody says you have to do. A lot of the SAD comes from sitting inside and watching things change on the outside. So, break yourself free from the home. Create the life you want and live it.

When people started to tell me that I was confident, honestly, for a while I actually wasn’t. I was putting myself in situations where I didn’t feel comfortable nor confident engaging in t...

A continuation of part 1; Kim elaborates on the ingredients of Skimdo - literally and figuratively. We get a beautiful, generous peek into business ownership, branding, adult healing and pivoting on your toes despite a pandemic.

Explore more about Woke Beauty: www.wokebeauty.com

Learn more about SKIMDO: www.skimdo.com

Follow @rileyblanks @wokebeauty @skimdo

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This episode is part two of demystifying mental health medicine. Please note, I am not licensed. My knowledge is derived from social psychology education, personal experience, medical consulting and persistent research. While listening keep in mind. I am just a resource, a well read girl with a story. If you need help beyond this podcast, please contact a certified professional.

I recently heard a great quote about patience in a newsletter I receive every week from Farnam Street. It says:

“Patience is not passive, on the contrary, it is concentrated strength.” ― Bruce Lee

"People wait in different ways. Some are passive. Others are active. These two approaches are as different as the results they yield.

Passive patience is waiting for the world to give you the thing you want. A lot of people live their life with passive patience. Rather than go after the promotion at work they expect it to fall in their lap. Rather than go after the love of their life, they sit back and expect to be courted. Rather than chase their dreams, they wait for just the right opening that always seems around the corner but never comes. These people have the wrong kind of patience.

Active patience is different. Active patience demands action and intention, even while waiting for results. Active patience means not only applying for the promotion but taking your time to build the skills you need to put yourself in the best position to succeed. Active patience means starting the business, writing the book, going after the love of your life.

Active patience puts you in the best position to get what you want. There is almost always an action you can take to improve the odds.

Active in the moment but patient with the results.

Active patience."

In many ways, my relationship with my therapist is the medicine. She has taught me how to have a personal connection that has strong boundaries, feels safe, involves respect, care, understanding, maturity, and has the power to grow which maintaining its foundation. I am keenly aware of the cost of therapy and I do my best to prepare deeply for every session. However, oftentimes, as soon as I end up sitting in front of her, I am flooded with all of the things I might otherwise neglect in my usual conversations. Still in those instances she knows how to reel me in, distill, and focus so that I leave our time together feeling at ease and well equipped to move through pressing issues. Though I leave the room, I find that, in many ways, she remains with me. I am able to directly apply her lessons, reconfigure thought patterns in my mind, and find healthy ways to feel better.

Oftentimes, we concern ourselves with the minute details. Like, we have to get up at 5am on the dot or else. I think rituals become more fluid, more possible, when they are less strict. Maybe it’s just earlier. Maybe it’s a timeframe. Or maybe it’s altering another aspect in your life to incentivize an earlier day. For me, building little routines in my life that have positive effect is one of the most effective ways I create rituals that support me.

A while back I learned a really great lesson. I must, no matter what, carve out time in the morning just for myself. Once I get going, even if I solo-task, I really get going. Other things. Other people. They will undoubtedly come first. Which makes me less happy, less fulfilled, less of my best self. So, I have 2 hours carved out in my calendar, everyday, from 6-8am that are labeled: “I am focused on me.” It is a non-negotiable time frame that I’ve set aside for me to sleep, do nothing, walk, read, drink coffee, lift weights, talk to a friend, literally whatever. It doesn’t matter so long as it is not work related, so long as it is purely a form of therapy. Let this serve as your reminder: take care of you first.

Resources: Remedy Place, Psychology Today

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