Disrupting the Underfunctioning/Overfunctioning Dynamic
06/07/22 • 59 min
Dr. Alexandra explores the common underfunctioning/overfunctioning dynamic in long-term partnerships. She talks about why many couples fall prey to these roles, including cultural messaging and family-of-origin scripts, and she shares strategies for breaking free from this dance so that the relationship can feel more balanced.
Get the companion worksheet for this episode:
www.dralexandrasolomon.com/dynamic
The Family Institute at Northwestern University:
https://www.family-institute.org/
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout)
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
“Overfunctioning and Underfunctioning” by Dr. Will Meek:
https://willmeekphd.com/overfunctioning-underfunctioning/
“Women Aren't Nags—We're Just Fed” Up by Gemma Hartley (Harper’s Bazaar, September 2017):
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/
“I Live With a Woman—We're Not Immune to Emotional Labor:
How LGBTQ couples navigate gender roles at home” by Trish Bendix (Harper’s Bazaar, October 2017):
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12779502/emotional-labor-lgbtq-relationships/
Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) by Eve Rodsky:
Dr. Alexandra explores the common underfunctioning/overfunctioning dynamic in long-term partnerships. She talks about why many couples fall prey to these roles, including cultural messaging and family-of-origin scripts, and she shares strategies for breaking free from this dance so that the relationship can feel more balanced.
Get the companion worksheet for this episode:
www.dralexandrasolomon.com/dynamic
The Family Institute at Northwestern University:
https://www.family-institute.org/
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout)
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
“Overfunctioning and Underfunctioning” by Dr. Will Meek:
https://willmeekphd.com/overfunctioning-underfunctioning/
“Women Aren't Nags—We're Just Fed” Up by Gemma Hartley (Harper’s Bazaar, September 2017):
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/
“I Live With a Woman—We're Not Immune to Emotional Labor:
How LGBTQ couples navigate gender roles at home” by Trish Bendix (Harper’s Bazaar, October 2017):
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12779502/emotional-labor-lgbtq-relationships/
Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) by Eve Rodsky:
Previous Episode
Love Stories: Permission for Pleasure with Al Fine, Co-Founder & CEO of Dame Products
On this Love Stories episode, Dr. Alexandra is joined Alexandra Fine, the co-founder and CEO of Dame Products, an innovative company that designs pleasure-enhancing products for people with vulvas. This episode is all about Dame the brand, but more importantly, it’s about Al, the very special person behind Dame's groundbreaking products, who had a radical vision she followed to fruition.
Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout)
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101
Shop Dame Products (use code LOVEPOD for a discount at checkout):
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
Next Episode
Learning to Cherish: From "You & Me" to "Us" with Terry Real
World-renowned author and therapist Terry Real joins Dr. Alexandra for a discussion about his career, his new book (Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship), men in relationships, conflict resolution, and more.
The Family Institute at Northwestern University:
https://www.family-institute.org/
Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship by Terry Real:
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout):
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
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