The Makings of a Healthy Relationship

03/28/22 • 39 min

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Being in a healthy relationship is not the responsibility of one person, but both people involved. It's important that the vanity metrics aren't what's going to keep you together during hard times, it's the established groundwork & desire to work as a team that will continue to create a healthy relationship.
I have been married for over 15 years now. And my relationship with my husband is really great, but it isn’t perfect. I don’t believe anyone’s relationships are perfect. It might feel perfect because it flows pretty easily, but there are still disagreements & miscommunications to deal with, which can cause hurt feelings. We had to take the time to learn how to communicate with each other better to get through issues we were experiencing because it would end in each of us being really upset or me (being my people-pleaser self) just agreeing with whatever he said & wanted to get the argument to end as soon as possible. There were many years when some things weren’t healthy or as strong as it could of been. But we made the decision to get couple’s counseling to strengthen our communication skills, which we knew would strengthen our marriage

Relationships are a ton of work. It feels easy in the beginning, which is great. Those experiences provide hope that it could be that way a good portion of the time you’re together. But there will come times when you need to agree to disagree, compromise or do something else to move past any conflict, problems & misunderstandings. And no one is perfect, so mistakes will be made, which can sometimes compromise a ton of feelings at once & cause even more trouble.

But even beyond communication issues, we might not consider how important other aspects of a relationship can be to us if we don’t know the makings of a healthy relationship.

Falling for someone because they contribute to your happiness, have the same interests, treat you nice, is all well & good, but not really the framework needed to decide if the relationship is going to survive any issues, known or unknown. I think we can be so insecure about ourselves that we latch onto the first person that shows tons of interest when we need to take the time to consider so much more.

Today I want to share with you 7 makings of a healthy relationship:

Communication (be honest & open, having the ability to express emotions, being assertive in your needs)
Trust (accepting each other at their word)
Appreciation (expressing gratitude for one another, share what they mean to you)
Individuality (being supportive in your partners growth, it’s ok to be your own person, continue respect for not being the same)
Accountability (accept responsibility, keep your word, minimize making excuses)
Support (be empathetic, practice good listening skills, have an open mind to their perspective)
Respect (willing to compromise, create solutions by working together, no unknown expectations, no demands, limiting judgment of the other)

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo.

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But even beyond communication issues, we might not consider how important other aspects of a relationship can be to us if we don’t know the makings of a healthy relationship.

Today I want to share with you 7 makings of a healthy relationship:

Communication (be honest & open, having the ability to express emotions, being assertive in your needs)
Trust (accepting each other at their word)
Appreciation (expressing gratitude for one another, share what they mean to you)
Individuality (being supportive in your partners growth, it’s ok to be your own person, continue respect for not being the same)
Accountability (accept responsibility, keep your word, minimize making excuses)
Support (be empathetic, practice good listening skills, have an open mind to their perspective)
Respect (willing to compromise, create solutions by working together, no unknown expectations, no demands, limiting judgment of the other)

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo.

Support the show

Previous Episode

Are You Emotionally Exhausted? - How to Know It's Too Much

Instead of putting up with feeling awful, we should become aware of warning signs that we may be experiencing emotional exhaustion & get the help we need to manage it & let go of that unnecessary stressor.
Show Notes:
I promise I didn’t decide on this topic because I’m currently going through it. But it’s funny that I do feel drawn to speak on it because I know I’m not the only one dealing with it. And it’s important because being exhausted, even if not mentally & only physically, is a lot to handle. It takes a lot out of you & prevents you from doing a lot of things you really need to do.

Let’s talk about what emotional exhaustion is for a minute. Being emotionally exhausted is the feeling of extreme tiredness, while also feeling apathetic, irritable, overwhelmed or drained. When you’re emotionally exhausted you feel like there is very little you can accomplish & get done in your day. Emotional exhaustion is closely related to burnout because it’s a symptom of burnout. If you feel like you are dealing more with burnout in your personal life in the way of taking on too much, I encourage you to check out the episode I did on it not too long ago. It’s episode number 372 if you’re interested.

Now understanding what emotional exhaustion is, let me give you some examples of how we can become emotionally exhausted & then we will talk about the warning signs to look out for when experiencing it.

There are several reasons why we might experience emotional exhaustion. One of the biggest ones for me personally is the lack of support in life. When you don’t have anyone else to at least pour encouragement into you or if you have expressed the need for support & no one is willing to be there for you. Some seasons require us to walk alone, but even the smallest amount of support is helpful.

Here are a few others that can contribute to experiencing emotional exhaustion:

Relationship struggles
Working too much
Dealing with chronic illnesses
Lacking control in your life
Grief of loss

Emotional exhaustion can be managed easiest by taking breaks from the things that are contributing to it. Also by putting your mental health first & seeking assistance with that, as well. But today I’m not going to go over how to manage it. I want to share with you the warning signs to look out for, in case you do end up experiencing it & can do something about it sooner than later.

Here are 7 warning signs that you’re emotionally exhausted:

Your anxiety has gotten worse/having panic attacks
You have little patience
You forget things more often
You’re apathetic (loss of interest, no longer caring or concern for many things)
You’re irritated more often
You struggle to concentrate
You become irrationally angry

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo.

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Next Episode

What Are You Avoiding? - How to Face What Overwhelms You, Scares You & Brings Pain

Avoiding only increases the anxiety & pain related to what you're putting off. It also limits your life & prevents growth. Come learn 5 tips to stop avoiding & starting dealing with discomfort.
Show Notes:
As we all know, we can only avoid things/people for so long. I mean, SOMETIMES we can avoid certain people forever, but it’s not ideal since there are emotions & experiences tied to that interaction that could help us grow & understand ourselves better.

Avoidance behavior is when someone escapes from having to deal with difficult feelings, experiences, people, conversations, basically, anything that you aren’t ready to handle in the moment or maybe not any time soon. A lot of this is rooted in fear & not knowing how it’s going to turn out or if it will work out the way you hope or need it to. And while sometimes it’s ok to put something off, this can become a real problem if we are doing it all the time. Its also considered a negative coping mechanism.

Avoiding will really limit what you can do in life because you keep creating boundaries that you won’t cross. And while it will feel nice for a while to not have to do the thing, anxiety could actually become a problem for you because of impending doom. And yes, it can be helpful in the moment for those that struggle with anxiety or panic to avoid certain things, but if you continue to put it off, the symptoms just become worse.

One of the biggest things we are missing out on with avoidant behavior is the ability to tolerate discomfort. The more we have to do things we don’t want to do, the easier it becomes to get those things done when we make the effort to face those things. We are always going to experience discomfort in our lives, so learning to tolerate it is better than avoiding it until it blows up on us.

We are also missing out on learning to problem-solve better or just learn new skills sooner than being forced to. Problem-solving is an underrated skill. If you are able to problem solve most things in your life, you move forward quicker with more ease & less anxiety. It’s because when you problem solve something & come to a solution, you feel confident because you figured it out. And continuing to do this builds confidence & dampens the fear & worry that whatever it is won’t work out.

If you aren’t sure whether you struggle with avoidance behavior, consider if there are situations, experiences, people, tasks or emotions in your life you put off dealing with on the regular. If you continually avoid certain things, the same things, you might be struggling with avoidance behavior.

Today I am going to share with 5 tips on How to Stop Using Avoidance as a Coping Mechanism:

Make Your Task Smaller (if possible)
Identify the Fear & Worse Case Scenario
Get Support/Accountability to Share Your Avoidance Behavior With
Don’t Assume, Assemble the Research
Accept that Growth is Uncomfortable & Something to Be Proud of

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo.

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RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health - The Makings of a Healthy Relationship

Transcript

00:00:03.580

Hello everyone. And welcome to the real positive girl podcast with me, Sabrina. This is the show that's gonna help you become your best self in today. We are talking about the makings of a healthy relationship, but before we get into that as always, I want to invite you to come say hi to me on Instagram. I am at Sabrina joy perso. I would love to hear from you chit chat with you, answer any questions, comments, concerns, prayer requests. I love those feedback, topic s