How to Stop Letting Other People's Opinions Control You - Live For Yourself

03/18/22 • 36 min

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Being liked by everyone might feel nice & living life based on other people's opinions might be easy, but it's not worth your autonomy & being an extension of someone else for the sake of making life easier. I have 7 ways to stop living your life based on other people's opinions that will help you change this mindset.
Show Notes:
Being liked by everyone used to be a necessity to me. I HAD to be liked by everyone or I felt like a failure & that my existence on Earth didn’t matter. Dramatic, I know. But it’s how I felt because pleasing others was so deeply ingrained in me & being accepted by others was what made me feel safe. I needed a place to feel safe since I didn’t at home, so school, church, activities with others had to be the place for me.

The problem with being obsessed with other people liking you is that you make that need more important than anything else. And what those people say & how they feel about what you decide to do or don’t do become truths for you.This is because you have gotten so used to them liking you that the possibility of them not liking you anymore due to you doing something opposite of their advice is scary & crippling to your own thoughts & opinions.

We all want to be liked & accepted. But some of us take it too far. I certainly did. And I missed out on really being me for the longest time because of it. And I realize that fitting in & being a part of something can garner more respect from others & even make life easier at times, but it’s really creating more problems than it’s solving. You’re living your life based on conditions set by others, not actual acceptance. And I understand that many of us developed this behavior because at one time in our lives affection, care & acceptance WAS conditional & we learned how to play the game. But I’m here to tell you (& myself) that we no longer need to do this.

We are going to create a new mindset today that echoes the truths of not needing to fit in to be successful, to be respected or even to live a good life. You can make your own decisions & like who you are & still have all those things. It’s actually liberating.

Today I’m going to share with you 7 Ways to Stop Letting Other People’s Opinions Control You:

Stop Feeling Embarrassed.
Become More Self-Aware.
Learn to Trust Yourself.
Find Better Friends.
Embrace Failure & Mistakes.
You’re Gonna Need Thick Skin.
Evaluate How Happy You Actually Are.

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo.

Have any questions, comments or feedback? Send me an email at [email protected] or check out my website, www.sabrinajoy.com where you can listen to all my episodes, send me messages & sign up for my weekly newsletter!

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Today I’m going to share with you 7 Ways to Stop Letting Other People’s Opinions Control You:

Stop Feeling Embarrassed.
Become More Self-Aware.
Learn to Trust Yourself.
Find Better Friends.
Embrace Failure & Mistakes.
You’re Gonna Need Thick Skin.
Evaluate How Happy You Actually Are.

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo.

Join the New RealPositiveGirl Community Group!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/realpositivegirl

Support the show

Previous Episode

Feeling Angry - How to Manage Your Anger

How we display anger can bring on regret & embarrassment, but moving through those emotions full force can be overwhelming & exhausting, too. Understanding how to manage our anger & not let it control us in those chaotic moments can help us better understand what is triggering the anger & how we can use that knowledge to come to a solution. I have 10 tips to share on how to manage anger.
Show Notes:
Anger for me can come on easily. I had to work really hard to not allow myself to be so angry at everything in life & I’m still working on it. When I was younger any anger I had would stay bottled up because there was no safe place to let it out. And anger was seen more as an emotional breakdown with lots of tears & frustration. But when I became an adult, I felt like I had this right to display my anger more forthright.

My anger generally comes out in yelling & screaming & wanting to throw something. I haven’t broken anything, but I will just generally toss something across the room & huff and puff a bit. It was the yelling part that I really had to work on.

And it can be true that when we are going through an episode of anger, all we see is red. This is where knowing your anger triggers comes into play. We have spoken about anxiety triggers recently & will soon talk about depression triggers, but even anger has triggers.

We all display anger in different ways. Some are more violent ways & others are more emotional and others still are somewhere in the middle. Having de-escalation tactics in your back pocket will help you come down from an anger episode quicker than without, but understanding where your anger comes from will help you be aware of what triggers your anger and you’ll be able to avoid some of those episodes.

But if you struggle with anger, I want you to start thinking about how most anger is linked to fear because they both live in a place of needing control. You become angry because you are afraid of an outcome or a consequence, something that is out of your control. Even something as simple as being angry that the barista made your coffee wrong. This could be your fear of not having a good day because it started off rough, fear of being misunderstood because they made your coffee wrong.

Today I want to share with you 10 ways to handle your anger in the moment:

Take a breath & count to 10
Explain how you feel to the other person (without raised voices/I statements)
Leave the situation, take a time out
Question your emotions, respond rather than react
Ask Yourself: Have you made a similar mistake? (give grace)
Take a walk
Find a temporary distraction
Practice gratitude & decide if it’s worth it to be angry
Find someone to vent your anger to (release)
Learn what triggers your anger

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi or on Clubhouse @sabrinajperozzo to chat!

Support the show

Next Episode

What Scares You the Most? - Facing Our Fears

It's easy to let fear control you with the strong emotions it invokes. But allowing our emotions to control us is what causes us more pain & struggle than examining why we feel this way & what we should do to push through. I'm reviewing 7 of the biggest fears that hold us back & what we should about it.
Show Notes:
If I were to ask myself what scares me most, it would be the uncertainty of the future.

I’m a planner & I like to have an idea of what’s going to happen or just plan it out myself. It’s pretty simple for me. But what feels simple to me is actually difficult in a world where you never know what is going to happen.

In general, I have a problem with fear. And it feels like I pick up a new fear every single week because I’m trying harder to challenge myself & step out of my comfort zone. Which is a good thing! We are supposed to be out there pushing boundaries & making ourselves better by engaging in new experiences & going through mistakes & failures. Things I talk about ALL THE TIME with you all. But talking about, teaching about & coaching you all through doesn’t make it any easier to deal with myself & me helping you through isn’t going to make the process any easier for you, but it does give you tips on how best to manage it & make it to the other side.

I try to approach most of my fears by asking myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” This exercise doesn’t always help because I start to believe the worst-case scenarios I come up with & really just scare myself even more. But when it does work, it can boost my confidence a bit & shave the fear down a little bit. I have found that understanding the circumstance or the experience I have to go through a bit more does help to reduce my fear.

Today I want to answer the question, “What Scares You the Most,” with 7 fears that hold us back the most in life & what we can do to face those fears:

Uncertainty (anxiety is crippling, but worrying about the future will change nothing or manifest anything good)
Failure (best learning lessons & no one’s perfect)
Rejection (this is nice because it gives you an end/final answer, provides direction or need to challenge yourself)
Being Judged By Others (people will judge no matter what because it gives them a break from judging themselves)
Missing Out (FOMO is a time-waster/look into why you feel this way: inadequacy, jealousy?)
Change (we all need growth)
Success (leads to procrastination & lack of action, holds you back indefinitely)

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo.

Join the New RealPositiveGirl Community Group!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/realpositivegirl

Support the show

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health - How to Stop Letting Other People's Opinions Control You - Live For Yourself

Transcript

00:00:03.850

Hello everyone. And welcome to the real positive girl podcast with me, Sabrina. This is the show that helps you become your best self. And today we were talking about how to stop letting other people's opinions control you. But before we jump into that as always, I want to invite you to come say hi to me on Instagram. I am at Sabrina joy perso. I would love to hear from you. I'd love to become friends. I am able to answer any questions, comments, concerns, pro request