Teaching Your Kids to Be Thought Detectives with Dr. Caroline Leaf
08/24/21 • 31 min
In the second half of my interview with Neuroscientist and Mental Health Expert Dr. Caroline Leaf, we’re continuing our discussion of how we can learn to retrain our brains by systematically managing our thoughts, feelings, and choices. In this episode we dig into how invalidating our kid’s feelings can affect their mental and physical health, different techniques for temporarily containing instead of repressing anxious thoughts, and Dr. Leaf breaks down her 5 Step NeuroCycle.
Key points from our conversation:
💭 We need to be comfortable sitting with our thoughts. If you’re awake, you’re thinking. Those thoughts have feelings associated with them which led to choices.
♻️ Don’t suppress or invalidate your child’s feelings, instead let them know that feelings are helpful messengers that allow us to explore what’s going on and redesign the pattern. When emotions are suppressed, they recycle in the body and the mind.
🚫 There are no shortcuts to cleaning up your mental mess. It takes at least 63 days to create behavior change.
🧠 Your mind is either managed or unmanaged, but it never stops.
🔎 The first step to being a thought detective is to spot a pattern. Once you recognize it, accept it and prepare your brain for change through breathing and movement exercises that change your neurophysiology.
🧬 Dr. Leaf’s 5 Step NeuroCycle – gather, reflect, write, recheck, and active reach
📦 Neuroplasticity practices like the box and window techniques can provide a way to temporarily contain your anxious thoughts until you can calm down and process through the neurocycle.
Resources mentioned:
Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess Neurocycle app Cleaning Up the Mental Mess Podcast FREE empathetic listening printable
Connect with Caroline: website | Instagram | Facebook
You can find more resources about mental health, parenting, and coping with anxiety at MichelleNietert.com.
Please be sure to subscribe to the Raising Mentally Healthy Kids podcast on your favorite podcast player so you never miss an episode! And if this episode helped you we’d love it if you’d leave a review to help other parents find this resource.
And don't forget to join the conversation about raising mentally healthy kids with Michelle on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter!
In the second half of my interview with Neuroscientist and Mental Health Expert Dr. Caroline Leaf, we’re continuing our discussion of how we can learn to retrain our brains by systematically managing our thoughts, feelings, and choices. In this episode we dig into how invalidating our kid’s feelings can affect their mental and physical health, different techniques for temporarily containing instead of repressing anxious thoughts, and Dr. Leaf breaks down her 5 Step NeuroCycle.
Key points from our conversation:
💭 We need to be comfortable sitting with our thoughts. If you’re awake, you’re thinking. Those thoughts have feelings associated with them which led to choices.
♻️ Don’t suppress or invalidate your child’s feelings, instead let them know that feelings are helpful messengers that allow us to explore what’s going on and redesign the pattern. When emotions are suppressed, they recycle in the body and the mind.
🚫 There are no shortcuts to cleaning up your mental mess. It takes at least 63 days to create behavior change.
🧠 Your mind is either managed or unmanaged, but it never stops.
🔎 The first step to being a thought detective is to spot a pattern. Once you recognize it, accept it and prepare your brain for change through breathing and movement exercises that change your neurophysiology.
🧬 Dr. Leaf’s 5 Step NeuroCycle – gather, reflect, write, recheck, and active reach
📦 Neuroplasticity practices like the box and window techniques can provide a way to temporarily contain your anxious thoughts until you can calm down and process through the neurocycle.
Resources mentioned:
Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess Neurocycle app Cleaning Up the Mental Mess Podcast FREE empathetic listening printable
Connect with Caroline: website | Instagram | Facebook
You can find more resources about mental health, parenting, and coping with anxiety at MichelleNietert.com.
Please be sure to subscribe to the Raising Mentally Healthy Kids podcast on your favorite podcast player so you never miss an episode! And if this episode helped you we’d love it if you’d leave a review to help other parents find this resource.
And don't forget to join the conversation about raising mentally healthy kids with Michelle on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter!
Previous Episode
Retraining Your Brain with Dr. Caroline Leaf
Did you know that by managing your mind you can change your physical brain? In this episode, I’m speaking with Neuroscientist and Mental Health Expert Dr. Caroline Leaf about how understanding the difference between the mind, the brain, thoughts, and emotions as well as how they work with one another can help us realize the agency we have over our lives. Through her work specializing in cognitive and metacognitive neuropsychology, Dr. Leaf has developed a 5-step program to further demonstrate the effectiveness of mind-directed techniques to help relieve mental ill-health problems such as anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts.
Key points from our conversation:
🧠 Your brain is a physical part of you; your mind is what drives you. It is your “aliveness”. It is the thing that generates energy through the brain itself giving us agency and a sense of control.
⛓️ In psychology, our mind is reflected through thinking, feeling, and choosing. They cannot be separated.
🤒 Every cell in the body is run by the mind. When we have a messy mind, we have a messy body which makes us vulnerable to illness.
⚠️ We need to look at mental health differently. Anxiety and depression are not illnesses. 100% of people battle with these feelings because they’re normal reactions to adversity in life. They provide a warning signal of an underlying cause.
🥺 We’ve become too focused on the brain and the body, but not the underlying cause in the mind. If we teach it’s okay to get anxious and depressed, that it’s a normal response, it helps identify the root cause.
🌳 Thoughts look like trees in the mind. Thoughts have root memories and branch memories. Root memories are what’s happening, the branches are the interpretation.
🔎 We need to recognize the emotional warning signal, be a thought detective and find the root of it, then uproot the thought by reconceptualizing how to best manage it.
Resources mentioned:
Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess Neurocycle app Cleaning Up the Mental Mess Podcast FREE empathetic listening printable
Connect with Caroline: website | Instagram | Facebook
You can find more resources about mental health, parenting, and coping with anxiety at MichelleNietert.com.
Please be sure to subscribe to the Raising Mentally Healthy Kids podcast on your favorite podcast player so you never miss an episode! And if this episode helped you we’d love it if you’d leave a review to help other parents find this resource.
And don't forget to join the conversation about raising mentally healthy kids with Michelle on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter!
Next Episode
Understanding Healthy Eating and Eating Disorders with Ashley Ariail LPC, CEDS
Eating disorders are on the rise in the US as COVID has given kids more opportunities to spend time online. We know that social media impacts how we (especially girls) feel about our bodies, increasing anxiety and fueling eating disorders. In the first part of my conversation with clinical therapist Ashley Ariail, we’re discussing the different factors that can contribute to eating disorders, how you can identify if your kid is struggling with unhealthy eating behaviors, and advice about how to model appropriate behavior for your child.
Key points from our conversation:
🍴 Negative body image isn’t always involved in an eating disorder, especially in kids under 10. It could be avoidant restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) which is not driven by body or weight concerns. It could be they’ve had a bad experience with choking or allergies, GI complications, etc.
⬇️ There is no standard of average healthy weight loss per week. If you notice your child is losing weight rapidly, it’s important to focus on the how and why they’re losing rather than the number of pounds lost.
⭐ There are many factors that can contribute to eating disorders including genetics, personality and temperament, and social influences. Children that struggle with eating disorders are typically perfectionistic high achievers.
🏃♀️ Parents can help by being good students of their kids and making sure they’re getting their nutritional needs met despite their difficulties. It’s also important for parents to model healthy behaviors concerning food, exercise, and how they speak about their own bodies.
🍎 Research shows that because they’re based on rules, diets don’t work long term. Working with a dietitian can help you with your weight loss goal while modeling appropriate behavior. (It may even be covered by your insurance as preventative care.)
Resources mentioned:
Children’s Health – Childhood Eating Disorders Treatment The Encouraging Dietitian The Feel-Good Dietitian FREE empathetic listening printable
You can find more resources about mental health, parenting, and coping with anxiety at MichelleNietert.com.
Please be sure to subscribe to the Raising Mentally Healthy Kids podcast on your favorite podcast player so you never miss an episode! And if this episode helped you we’d love it if you’d leave a review to help other parents find this resource.
And don't forget to join the conversation about raising mentally healthy kids with Michelle on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter!
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