Differentiation in Relationships

Explicit content warning

03/26/24 • 35 min

Differentiation of self is like learning how to be your own person while still being part of a group, or a relationship. We’re unpacking this fancy psychological term by Bowen and applying it to dating to help you be connected with your own emotions while also being present for others.

You’ll hear— (15:19) What “differentiation of self” is and why Melisa thinks it’s a fun term (18:38) Differentiation in the context of relationships (25:12) How to practice self-awareness in this process (29:47) Queer joys

Connect with us over on Instagram @melisa.deseguirant and @queer_therapist_pdx

Connect with us over on Instagram @melisa.deseguirant and @queer_therapist_pdx

Previous Episode

Managing Change and Keeping Ourselves Regulated

How do we stay calm and adaptable in the face of life's ups and downs, especially in our relationships? We’ve talked before about regulating your nervous system, but after you’ve taken those first steps, let’s shift the conversation to building flexibility and adaptability.

You’ll hear— (12:46) Finding reliability and stability during times of unexpected change (15:31) How to ground yourself to feel a sense of consistency (21:29) Creating relationship rituals (26:56) What to do if you struggle with change or are neurodivergent (32:22) Queer Joys

Let us know what you thought of this episode @QueerRelationshipsQueerJoy or email us at [email protected]

Next Episode

Finding Glimmers of Joy

How do we engage with the world around us and continue some form of activism or social justice while also finding moments of joy? We’re exploring this question to bring some optimism and mindfulness when it feels like the world is fire.

You’ll hear (5:56) Finding joy in challenging times (8:37) Balancing activism with moments of joy and hope. (13:56) Finding hope and inspiration in small moments, or glimmers (19:43) Oxytocin and sex (25:23) Meaning, joy, and overstimulation in modern life (28:06) Queer joys

Keep up with Melisa on Instagram @therapeutic.ideas and look out for the training on April 20th by Alex Iantaffi on mixed orientation relationships at Eventbrite or connectivetherapycollective.com.