Borderline Personality Disorder

07/22/22 • 35 min

1 Listener

When I worked in a behavioral health hospital, all the nurses said it was because she was borderline (BPD) when there was a difficult female patient. Obviously, no one can be so easily diagnosed but it is a common belief that individuals with BPD have difficulty in relationships. How true is this and just exactly what is Borderline Personality Disorder?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201909/the-drama-loving-borderline

Transcript:

you're listening to psych with mike for more episodes or to connect with the show with comments ideas or to be a 0:06 guest go to www.cyclicmike.com follow the show on twitter at psych with 0:13 mike or like the facebook page at psych with mike now here's psych with mike 0:19 [Music] welcome into the psych with mike library this is dr michael mahon and i am here 0:26 with mr brett newcomb along one more time i'm sorry to interrupt i'll shut up on 0:31 your line we'll go ahead and introduce the our guest i brought a friend of mine with me today her name is michelle stieg 0:37 and she is a licensed professional counselor here in st louis who is so good that she hasn't accepted 0:44 any new clients in two years is that a is that a true statement uh it's no we are at two and a half years 0:50 at this point oh and over two years right i think the correction yeah right yeah one more time for the cheap seats yeah 1:01 not if you're not accepting clients for two and a half years yeah well that's awesome yeah yeah it's been 1:06 when you're good you're good say it one more time i couldn't hear you well you're good that's right you're 1:12 good okay got it yeah yeah uh i'm i got dynamic i'm telling you this dynamic 1:18 is freaking me out 1:24 all right does your wife know you're here with her yes okay 1:30 when i'm with michelle my wife is almost always with us yes so i'm feeling her energy that's this girl 1:37 is here now thank you not here oh okay except she's probably some spirit something snarky yeah she is she sending 1:43 me energy yeah snarky vibes yes yes snarky vibes i'm surprised that she 1:50 lets you hang out with the two of us unsupervised it's only because i'm here yeah exactly it's only because i'm here 1:56 yeah so did he tell you so uh we go to colorado every year 2:02 and one year he had devised this plan where he and 2:08 his friend paul brett he being brett uh 2:14 took the truck and drove around the corner and hid 2:19 so that when i got to his house uh his wife was there and and frantically 2:26 like oh my god you're you're late and they've already left and i am 2:31 freaking out there's a history here when mike was in graduate school and was one of my 2:38 students yeah he didn't turn in his assignments uh they were late too 2:44 considerably it's late yeah so much so that like a year later we had to go before the provost and work out a deal 2:50 to accept and finish the classwork sure yeah so mike has always had problems 2:57 with time management and being on time exactly and so we're going skiing and it's and you 3:03 and i are compulsively early forever absolutely if i'm not early i'm late yeah uh but we were once again 3:09 and we're gonna leave like at four o'clock in the morning and i said be on time i said matter of fact once you come up 3:14 spend the night and then we'll get you up and we'll get you in the car and we'll be ready to go now i need to be with my wife and my family because i'll 3:20 be gone for a week you know okay we'll be here on time so he was late 3:25 so i waited a few minutes and i said paul let's move the car so we already had it loaded i really appreciate it we 3:31 moved the car mike comes in we're hiding in the back room good for you mike comes in he's like where's your car they'll say oh 3:37 they left four o'clock you weren't here and he just blanched oh wait bet uh and 3:42 for the first 75 miles he didn't have anything to say done 3:48 i can't believe him you guys love me but in subsequent years 3:55 man was never late i bet yeah i thought okay so you brought it up sucker yeah yeah all right so i i don't 4:02 have a problem with it yeah i'm 60 years old now i'm do what i want and now you're on time 4:07 yeah yeah i actually i i am pretty much on time i don't think i'm late to anything anymore 4:14 but that's not what we're here to talk about what are we here to talk about what are 4:19 we here to talk about so i had sent you an article on the 4:25 difficulty that individuals who have borderline personality have 4:32 with relationships and so i actually sent this to spark the 4:38 clinical discussion i think that that is a thing that is 4:47 stereotypically believed and what i'm wondering is from because we have three 4:54 very experienced clinicians here in our experience is that a true thing or is that 5:01 something that gets hyped but really is more pop science than...

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201909/the-drama-loving-borderline

Transcript:

Previous Episode

Self Love

Psychology jargon goes through a cyclic evolution just like any vocation. Are "new age" concepts like self-love and mindfulness new concepts? If not what were they known as in the before times?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/new-gps-intimate-relationships/202205/the-keys-self-love

Transcript:

you're listening to psych with Mike for more episodes or to connect with the show with comments ideas or to be a 0:07 guest go to www.sitewithmike.com follow the show on 0:12 Twitter at psych with Mike or like the Facebook page at psych with Mike now 0:18 welcome into the site with Mike Library this is Dr Michael Mahon I am here with Mr Brett Newcombe and intern Michael 0:24 hello hello good morning how are you gentlemen Exquisite yeah my uh 0:30 daughter's dog is staying with me for a couple of days and he made some noises 0:36 from the other room to which I said be quiet dog and you guys said that sounded like an old man in the other didn't 0:42 sound like a dog yeah how do you train that dog to make those noises yeah well I don't know he doesn't live with me 0:48 anymore but um yeah yeah that was funny so uh 0:55 I think that there is at least okay let 1:01 me ask a different question Brett you are and without meaning any 1:07 any uh uh negative connotation you're the oldest person in 1:13 the room yes absolutely okay and and the reason that I say that experientially and cosmically 1:18 yes is because you were a teacher born earlier ever yeah yeah and then you also 1:26 were a therapist forever you actually taught me and even though I feel like 1:32 I've done therapy for a long long long long time you've done it even longer than that and so what I would ask is 1:40 it feels to me like this idea of mindfulness this idea of self-love this 1:47 idea of uh aware of all all of these kinds of of new age new age right 1:57 kinds of Concepts that are being baked into psychology feels newer to me but I 2:06 also recognize things are cyclic and so what goes around comes around so what I would ask you is 2:12 are you aware of a a time in Psychology where these Concepts were being promoted 2:20 more than in my experience or do you feel like these things are 2:26 newer age they weren't being framed this way they weren't being this phraseology was not being used 2:32 these are marketing strategies my argument is frequently made that every so often you 2:40 have to change what you call it yeah so that you can charge more money for it right because the insurance companies are in this constant chess game to 2:47 reduce your payments so DSM has to be revised I also think though that people want to continue to 2:55 propose new theories and so you have to repackage things to be able to make it 3:00 fresh so that you can sell it as a new idea uh yeah but they're also 3:08 I mean when you sent this article for us to talk about my first reaction is you know Psychology today is becoming like 3:15 Brides magazine yeah these articles this article you read this article you just won't let that brights thing go well you 3:21 sent me the article that's all I can say all right um it's just fluff it's pablum it's 3:27 verbiage so I was going to say well I'm gonna throw fit and we're not going to do this conversation and then I thought 3:33 you know there is a legitimate conversation to be had around the idea 3:38 of doing therapy with t people and trying to facilitate their ability to be more 3:45 self-honest self-accepting self-actualize another term from the past uh you don't have to 3:51 call it self-love but don't that's why I agreed I would have the conversation that's exactly though the point you're 3:58 trying to make yeah is that that uh I think that these things aren't new I think that they have been in Psychology 4:05 before I think self-actualization which was a meslovian uh idea is exactly this 4:14 same thing it was just so phrased We Come Back to Basics yeah 4:19 my basic concept of doing therapy is that I have to have excellent attending 4:25 skills I have to be able to do reflective listening accurately and 4:31 empathically and I have to create a safe holding environment if I can do those three things and you spend enough time 4:37 with me I will learn Who You Are what's going on with you to the point 4:43 that I can then facilitate your exploration of issues that are causing 4:49 you pain behaviors that are causing you difficulty and I can throw all kinds of words and theories and terminology and 4:55 labeling and all that into the mix but the reality is if I do that I believe I 5:01 can help you improve your quality of life and reduce your level of frustration and pain so by doing so if 5:09 you're improving that individual's quality of life yeah how is that happening do you believe 5:14 that they are internalizing some of the skills that you are demonstrating in 5:21 that therapy se...

Next Episode

Understanding Narcissism

Narcissism is both necessary and pathological. Every individual needs some narcissism for the Ego to develop, but too much can become a personality disorder. Understanding narcissism can help us recognize the difference and better understand ourselves.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/peaceful-parenting/202205/how-narcissist-manipulates-the-love-language-concept

Transcript:

you're listening to psych with mike for more episodes or to connect with the show with comments ideas or to be a 0:06 guest go to www.cyclicmike.com follow the show on twitter at psych with 0:13 mike or like the facebook page at psych with mike now here's psych with mike 0:19 [Music] welcome into the psych with mike library this is dr michael mahon and i am here 0:25 with mr brett newcomb good morning it is the dog days of summer uh yeah so 0:31 second or third longest day of the year or no they're starting to shorter starting shorter yeah yeah 0:37 like a couple days ago was was equilateral 12 and 12 right 12 hours a day like 12 0:43 hours it was the summer solstice yeah that's where for for your wiccans out there yeah 0:49 so i have an acceleration of stonehenge for that we just yes they do we just uh 0:54 read the news about the supreme court and roe v wade uh do we want to comment 1:01 at all about that or wait and see what happens um i don't know what that has to do with 1:07 providing clinical services or being a better therapist so i think that 1:13 i would withhold comment at this point all right uh how are you 1:19 i'm good i just wanted to say that um we had uh michelle stieg here last time 1:27 with us and that i thought that the 1:33 material the information that the the quality of the show 1:38 was fantastic with her you're trying to say she clashes up yeah i thought she i 1:44 thought she did a great job but then who wouldn't yeah yeah well i mean there are a couple of people i could 1:49 think of but uh you know so i don't know that michelle listens to this on the regular if she 1:55 does i just would like to say i i thought she did a great job i thought she really added something to it she's 2:00 always welcome i will be sending her the links to the shows that we did with her and i hope 2:07 that maybe we will see her again sometime all right well reach out touch someone 2:13 oh you get in trouble for that nowadays yes you do so uh one of the things that 2:21 was i think not was is misunderstood i think 2:26 is hugely misunderstood in the field of psychology 2:31 is the concept of narcissism would you agree or disagree i i don't know i 2:38 i think everybody kind of has an understanding from mythology of the 2:44 intense self-focus of the narcissist and then you know i i don't know i can 2:50 separate myself out from my education yeah we were all taught that everyone has 2:56 traits of narcissism uh but that those who have 3:02 complex organized traits that are that predominate in their life pattern have a personality disorder 3:08 the challenge is always where do you make the distinction how do you determine if what you're looking at is just a narcissistic trait or if it's a 3:16 if was intense and organized enough to be a personality disorder and when 3:23 you talk about our education if you go all the way back to the early psychodynamic theorists we're 3:31 really into otto kernberg and heinz kohut if people want to look those people up and 3:36 people like that said that it is imperative to have a 3:42 healthy amount of narcissism for the ego to be able to form you you awesome yeah exactly and and so you're exactly right 3:50 is where is that line between what is healthy and necessary for good ego 3:57 development and where does it become pathologic so do you have an idea about where you see that line 4:04 uh when i look in the mirror if i'm looking at me or if i'm looking at others 4:10 you are or are not pathological you know since it's a yes a radical 4:17 shift in the conversation the question is what constitutes pathology and is a behavior pathological or an 4:24 attitude or a presentation i think that i would answer that question by saying how much damage does 4:31 it do to you or the people in your environment that's are you behaving in ways that are 4:37 counterproductive painful destructive uh or not and i would say that those 4:44 behavior patterns are the indicators of pathology 4:49 so the point at which it makes it impacts your life is the point at 4:55 which where pathology would begin yeah and so when you do therapy you 5:02 beat around this bush until both you and the client have somewhat of the same viewpoint 5:08 perspective for what you're looking at and then you ask the questions how painful is this 5:13 how problematic is this what's it costing you to behave this way 5:19 and if you had an option to make changes that were 5:24 optio...