S9 Episode 134: Surviving Date Rape | Pretty Deadly Podcast

Explicit content warning

04/01/25 • 11 min

“Don’t You Remember Who You Are?” – Surviving and Interrupting Date Rape

In this raw and unflinching episode of the Pretty Deadly Podcast, host Susie Kahlich, founder of Pretty Deadly Self-Defense and violent crime survivor, shares three personal stories of surviving and interrupting date rape — spanning decades, cities, and stages of life. With clarity, strength, and a no-BS lens, she breaks down the manipulative patterns of coercive assault, the complexity of survivor reactions, and how martial arts and muscle memory saved her when words failed.

🔔 Trigger Warning: This episode contains detailed personal accounts of sexual assault.

🎯 Key points in this episode:

Date rape survivor stories
How to stop sexual assault
Self-defense for women
Real stories of coercion and consent
Martial arts for self-defense
Personal safety for solo women
Feminist self defense podcast
Surviving date rape
Consent and coercion explained

🕒 Episode Highlights & Timecodes

00:00:18 – Why We Need to Talk About Date Rape

Susie introduces the episode and issues a clear content warning. She shares her intent: to name the unnamed and help others understand what happened to them, just as she once needed.

00:01:30 – New York, 90s: "The Nice Guy" Setup

The first assault: a guy plays the role of rescuer after a painful breakup—only to assault her in her sleep. She reflects on how the term “date rape” didn’t even exist in common vocabulary then, and how publishing her story helped others come forward.

00:05:49 – Paris, 20 Years Later: “I Couldn’t Help Myself”

Jet lagged, wine-drunk, and unconscious, Susie wakes up to a confession from a toxic partner. She explores the confusion of betrayal in relationships, and how social conditioning warps our perception of rape as flattery.

00:07:54 – Paris Again: The One She Interrupted

A consensual hookup turns threatening when the man ignores her firm “no” and pushes for non-consensual anal sex. In a split second of panic and clarity, her martial arts training kicks in. She fends him off with a tactical strike—later integrated into Pretty Deadly training as a move called The Frenchman.

00:10:42 – How Pretty Deadly Teaches This Reality

Susie shares how the real-life moves that protected her are taught in Level 3 of Pretty Deadly. It’s not just theory. It’s not just talk. It’s lived. And it’s trainable.

👊 Key Takeaways

Date rape isn’t always violent—it’s often manipulative and confusing.
Consent can’t exist without the option to say “no” and be heard.
You can interrupt assault—even mid-act—with proper training and presence of mind.
Recognizing manipulation is the first step to preventing assault.
Survivors don’t owe a perfect reaction—they owe themselves healing and truth.

✨ Learn More

→ Find classes, become a trainer, or explore Pretty Deadly’s programs: PrettyDeadlySelfDefense.com

→ Follow on IG: @TeamPrettyDeadly

→ TikTok rants, real talk, and rebellion: @PrettyDeadlyBoss

🎵 Music: Icarus Wish by Dead Centuries (Berlin)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Don’t You Remember Who You Are?” – Surviving and Interrupting Date Rape

🔔 Trigger Warning: This episode contains detailed personal accounts of sexual assault.

🎯 Key points in this episode:

Date rape survivor stories
How to stop sexual assault
Self-defense for women
Real stories of coercion and consent
Martial arts for self-defense
Personal safety for solo women
Feminist self defense podcast
Surviving date rape
Consent and coercion explained

🕒 Episode Highlights & Timecodes

00:00:18 – Why We Need to Talk About Date Rape

Susie introduces the episode and issues a clear content warning. She shares her intent: to name the unnamed and help others understand what happened to them, just as she once needed.

00:01:30 – New York, 90s: "The Nice Guy" Setup

00:05:49 – Paris, 20 Years Later: “I Couldn’t Help Myself”

00:07:54 – Paris Again: The One She Interrupted

00:10:42 – How Pretty Deadly Teaches This Reality

Susie shares how the real-life moves that protected her are taught in Level 3 of Pretty Deadly. It’s not just theory. It’s not just talk. It’s lived. And it’s trainable.

👊 Key Takeaways

Date rape isn’t always violent—it’s often manipulative and confusing.
Consent can’t exist without the option to say “no” and be heard.
You can interrupt assault—even mid-act—with proper training and presence of mind.
Recognizing manipulation is the first step to preventing assault.
Survivors don’t owe a perfect reaction—they owe themselves healing and truth.

✨ Learn More

→ Find classes, become a trainer, or explore Pretty Deadly’s programs: PrettyDeadlySelfDefense.com

→ Follow on IG: @TeamPrettyDeadly

→ TikTok rants, real talk, and rebellion: @PrettyDeadlyBoss

🎵 Music: Icarus Wish by Dead Centuries (Berlin)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Previous Episode

S9 Episode 133: Everything Is Training | Pretty Deadly Podcast

In this raw and insightful episode, Pretty Deadly Self-Defense founder Susie Kahlich explores how seemingly random pieces of media—true crime podcasts, a childhood “Stranger Danger” assembly, even a high school driver’s ed video—can become life-saving tools in dangerous situations. Drawing from her personal experience as a violent crime survivor, and her work in trauma-informed self-defense, Susie unpacks how our brains absorb and store survival instincts through everyday content.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about how we prepare ourselves for danger—often without realizing it.

🎯 What You’ll Learn:

Why true crime podcasts are actually self-defense tools
How women’s social conditioning can interfere with instinct—and how to push past it
Real-life examples of how stored information surfaces in moments of danger
Why self-defense education can (and should) go beyond the dojo

⏱️ Episode Highlights & Time Codes:

(00:46) – Why True Crime Podcasts Are Secretly Self-Defense Lessons

True crime’s popularity among women isn't about gore—it's subconscious training.

(01:23) – How Your Brain Stores Survival Tools Without You Knowing

From conversations to news stories, everything you consume becomes part of your defensive toolkit.

(02:39) – Real Story: A Woman Attacked in Berlin

A woman uses a piece of news she once read to instinctively try to protect herself during an assault—and how her survival instinct was dismissed even by herself.

(04:44) – The Cost of Being “Polite”

Susie discusses how immigrant women often suppress their instincts to avoid “being a bother,” and how dangerous that can be.

(06:07) – The Logic Behind Facing an Attacker

A moment of insight changes Susie’s perception of how self-defense instinct really works.

(07:20) – Susie’s Own Story: Stranger Danger at 32

A childhood PSA resurfaces 24 years later, helping Susie survive a brutal attack in her own home.

(08:26) – Driver’s Ed Saved My Life

A decades-old memory from a video on drunk drivers helped her body survive physical trauma.

(09:56) – You’re Probably Learning Self-Defense Without Realizing It

Everything from movies to songs to podcasts can train your brain to respond in danger—even if you’ve never taken a self-defense class.

(10:42) – No Class? No Problem.

Susie shares why even if you can’t access a class, listening to podcasts like this is still valid—and valuable—self-defense education.

🔗 Links & Resources:

💻 Visit: prettydeadlyselfdefense.com – Classes, workshops & certifications
📸 Follow: @teamprettydeadly on Instagram
🎥 Watch: @prettydeadlyboss on TikTok for rants on politics, capitalism, and feminist survival
🎶 Music: “Icarus Wish” by Dead Centuries (Berlin)

#selfdefense #womensafety #survivorstories #traumainformed #prettydeadly #truecrimepodcast #intuitiveinstincts #situationalawareness #selfdefensepodcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Next Episode

S9 Episode 135: What I'd Do Different | Pretty Deadly Podcast

Episode Length: ~12 minutes

Episode Summary:

In this episode of the Pretty Deadly Podcast, founder and martial artist Susie Kahlich breaks down the violent attack that changed her life—and launched a global self-defense movement.

Rather than sharing a typical survivor story, Susie walks listeners through the assault as a tactical case study, examining how her instincts kicked in at the time—and how she would respond now, with 25 years of martial arts training behind her.

Stage by stage, she reflects on the positions, the physics, the fear, and the missed opportunities—offering insight into how small, practical movements can be the key to surviving and escaping violence.

This episode is both a personal narrative and a valuable educational resource for survivors, self-defense instructors, and anyone curious about real-world applications of martial arts in high-stress environments.

Highlights & Key Moments:

[00:02:22] Beginning of the assault: shoved and pinned against a wall and "scratch your back" defense
[00:03:30] Pushed to the ground: using push-pull and momentum philosophy from martial arts to turn a fall into a throw
[00:05:32] Hair grab and punch: wrist manipulation and how to absorb a punch
[00:06:38] Crawling toward the kitchen and why "grab a knife" is a dangerous myth without training
[00:07:43] Introduction of shrimping (from martial arts like BJJ and Kung Fu) to turn around leg grabs
[00:08:54] Vulnerability of attackers in moments of distraction—and how to exploit balance points like knees and ankles
[00:11:25] Final thoughts on learning to use space, momentum, and balance in self-defense situations

Key Takeaways:

You don’t need brute strength to defend yourself—just leverage, awareness, and a few basic tools.
Survival is not a clean, choreographed fight—it’s messy, instinctual, and often improvised.
Martial arts can reframe fear into focus, giving you usable strategies in real-world scenarios.
The body remembers, even when the mind doesn’t—and that memory can be retrained to protect you.

Learn the Techniques:

Explore Pretty Deadly’s trauma-informed, body-aware approach to self-defense at PrettyDeadlySelfDefense.com, or join the conversation on Instagram @teamprettydeadly

Keywords: self defense for women, martial arts case study, personal safety, trauma-informed training, Pretty Deadly Self Defense, shrimping technique, hair grab defense, wall pin escape, real-world martial arts, violence prevention for women, survivor strategy, how to escape an attacker

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.