Pretty Deadly Podcast

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“Don’t You Remember Who You Are?” – Surviving and Interrupting Date Rape

In this raw and unflinching episode of the Pretty Deadly Podcast, host Susie Kahlich, founder of Pretty Deadly Self-Defense and violent crime survivor, shares three personal stories of surviving and interrupting date rape — spanning decades, cities, and stages of life. With clarity, strength, and a no-BS lens, she breaks down the manipulative patterns of coercive assault, the complexity of survivor reactions, and how martial arts and muscle memory saved her when words failed.

🔔 Trigger Warning: This episode contains detailed personal accounts of sexual assault.

🎯 Key points in this episode:

• Date rape survivor stories
• How to stop sexual assault
• Self-defense for women
• Real stories of coercion and consent
• Martial arts for self-defense
• Personal safety for solo women
• Feminist self defense podcast
• Surviving date rape
• Consent and coercion explained

🕒 Episode Highlights & Timecodes

00:00:18 – Why We Need to Talk About Date Rape

Susie introduces the episode and issues a clear content warning. She shares her intent: to name the unnamed and help others understand what happened to them, just as she once needed.

00:01:30 – New York, 90s: "The Nice Guy" Setup

The first assault: a guy plays the role of rescuer after a painful breakup—only to assault her in her sleep. She reflects on how the term “date rape” didn’t even exist in common vocabulary then, and how publishing her story helped others come forward.

00:05:49 – Paris, 20 Years Later: “I Couldn’t Help Myself”

Jet lagged, wine-drunk, and unconscious, Susie wakes up to a confession from a toxic partner. She explores the confusion of betrayal in relationships, and how social conditioning warps our perception of rape as flattery.

00:07:54 – Paris Again: The One She Interrupted

A consensual hookup turns threatening when the man ignores her firm “no” and pushes for non-consensual anal sex. In a split second of panic and clarity, her martial arts training kicks in. She fends him off with a tactical strike—later integrated into Pretty Deadly training as a move called The Frenchman.

00:10:42 – How Pretty Deadly Teaches This Reality

Susie shares how the real-life moves that protected her are taught in Level 3 of Pretty Deadly. It’s not just theory. It’s not just talk. It’s lived. And it’s trainable.

👊 Key Takeaways

• Date rape isn’t always violent—it’s often manipulative and confusing.
• Consent can’t exist without the option to say “no” and be heard.
• You can interrupt assault—even mid-act—with proper training and presence of mind.
• Recognizing manipulation is the first step to preventing assault.
• Survivors don’t owe a perfect reaction—they owe themselves healing and truth.

✨ Learn More

→ Find classes, become a trainer, or explore Pretty Deadly’s programs: PrettyDeadlySelfDefense.com

→ Follow on IG: @TeamPrettyDeadly

→ TikTok rants, real talk, and rebellion: @PrettyDeadlyBoss

🎵 Music: Icarus Wish by Dead Centuries (Berlin)

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Self-Defense In Familial Situations

Women are frequently abused in our own families, and even within friend groups. Misogyny is deeply embedded in all of us. As women, we have built-in misogyny toward ourselves.

How Can Women Speak Up About Domestic Abuse?

We must not define someone else's violence for them; rather, we must help them understand what violence looks like.

It's Hard For People To Accept That Those They Love Are Hurting Them

Nobody wants to believe that the people they care about are abusive. It could even possibly be true, and the people they care about don't mean to hurt them. Maybe they're working out their cycles, over which they have no control.

Physical Abuse In Relationships

This becomes more challenging when dealing with parents or partners. Because it is viewed as a form of discipline, violence against children can be considered normal. It can take some time for children to understand that hitting, punching, or kicking another child is unacceptable.

The TSK Benjamin Foundation

The goal is to assist parents and caregivers in creating a nurturing environment for children. And it will imply that children who experience these things will suffer the negative effects of certain types of parenting.

Keywords

• Women
• Violence
• Parents
• Siblings
• Defend
• Approach
• Experience
• Emotionally
• Partners
• Important
• Protect
• Understand
• Accept
• Hurting
• Control
• Life
• Safety
• Power
• Trauma

Timestamps

00:01: Introduction

00:28: Description

01:35: Self-defense in familial situations

05:39: How do women speak up about domestic abuse?

09:40: It’s hard for people to accept that those whom they love are hurting them

13:24: Physical violence in relationships

17:32: The TSK Benjamin Foundation

20:59: Relevant Quotes and Websites

As mentioned in the podcast

The TSK Benjamin Foundation

The goal is to assist parents and caregivers in creating a nurturing environment for children. And it will imply that children who experience these things will suffer the negative effects of certain types of parenting.

We are working on a series of videos to assist parents. If there are professionals who are interested in child development, the effects of trauma on children's brains, and how to help parents avoid trauma, that would be extremely beneficial. Follow The Tsk Benjamin Foundation on Instagram for more information and daily updates.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.