As a Betrayed Partner, How do I Talk to my Teenage Kids About Healthy Sexuality?
05/13/25 • 33 min
In PBSE Episode 280, Mark & Steve address the complex challenge faced by betrayed partners—especially those healing from porn or sex addiction in their relationships—who want to guide their teenage children toward healthy sexuality. It begins by acknowledging the emotional burden and conflict many betrayed partners feel, especially when trying to teach their children something they themselves are still struggling to reclaim. Drawing from a listener’s heartfelt question, the hosts emphasize that children are already receiving sexual messaging from the world around them, making it crucial that parents step up to provide a healthy, grounded counter-narrative rooted in respect, consent, and emotional connection.
The article challenges the outdated concept of “the talk” by promoting a new paradigm: sexuality should be an ongoing, evolving, and age-appropriate conversation that unfolds over years, not moments. Parents are encouraged to reflect on their own stories, recognize internal shame or awkwardness, and ensure that their emotional energy during these talks doesn’t unintentionally pass discomfort or judgment onto their children. The authors stress that kids are emotional sponges, and how parents talk about sex—more than just what they say—deeply influences how their children feel about their own bodies, desires, and relationships. This is why intentionality and preparation matter more than perfection.
Practical tools and resources are also discussed, such as those from Fight the New Drug, Defend Young Minds, and Covenant Eyes. The article affirms that even when a co-parent is absent or unsafe to engage in these conversations, there are still ways to ensure kids have positive, trustworthy influences. By speaking truthfully, embracing healthy sexual values, and modeling openness, betrayed partners can break generational cycles of secrecy, shame, and dysfunction. Each conversation—no matter how imperfect—is a step toward a legacy of empowerment, honesty, and loving connection.
For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: As a Betrayed Partner, How do I Talk to my Teenage Kids About Healthy Sexuality?
Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com
Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
In PBSE Episode 280, Mark & Steve address the complex challenge faced by betrayed partners—especially those healing from porn or sex addiction in their relationships—who want to guide their teenage children toward healthy sexuality. It begins by acknowledging the emotional burden and conflict many betrayed partners feel, especially when trying to teach their children something they themselves are still struggling to reclaim. Drawing from a listener’s heartfelt question, the hosts emphasize that children are already receiving sexual messaging from the world around them, making it crucial that parents step up to provide a healthy, grounded counter-narrative rooted in respect, consent, and emotional connection.
The article challenges the outdated concept of “the talk” by promoting a new paradigm: sexuality should be an ongoing, evolving, and age-appropriate conversation that unfolds over years, not moments. Parents are encouraged to reflect on their own stories, recognize internal shame or awkwardness, and ensure that their emotional energy during these talks doesn’t unintentionally pass discomfort or judgment onto their children. The authors stress that kids are emotional sponges, and how parents talk about sex—more than just what they say—deeply influences how their children feel about their own bodies, desires, and relationships. This is why intentionality and preparation matter more than perfection.
Practical tools and resources are also discussed, such as those from Fight the New Drug, Defend Young Minds, and Covenant Eyes. The article affirms that even when a co-parent is absent or unsafe to engage in these conversations, there are still ways to ensure kids have positive, trustworthy influences. By speaking truthfully, embracing healthy sexual values, and modeling openness, betrayed partners can break generational cycles of secrecy, shame, and dysfunction. Each conversation—no matter how imperfect—is a step toward a legacy of empowerment, honesty, and loving connection.
For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: As a Betrayed Partner, How do I Talk to my Teenage Kids About Healthy Sexuality?
Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com
Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
Previous Episode
Do you REALLY want Intimate CONNECTION or Not?
PBSE Podcast 279 confronts the painful contradiction many addicts face: a deep longing for intimate connection paired with a habitual avoidance of it. Through a heartfelt partner’s submission and personal reflections, Mark and Steve illustrate how addiction, as an intimacy disorder, fuels this cycle of wanting but not acting—of making promises without follow-through. The core issue often isn’t a lack of sincerity, but a profound disconnection from self, rooted in fear, shame, and survival-based behaviors that sabotage the very closeness being sought.
Mark & Steve emphasize that real intimacy demands risk, consistency, and emotional presence—there’s no “door number three” that offers closeness without vulnerability. Acting out behaviors like pornography offer a counterfeit form of connection without the discomfort of being seen or rejected. But for true healing and trust to take root, addicts must stop hiding behind avoidance and start showing up authentically, even if the steps are small. It’s about shifting from vocalizing good intentions to building consistent habits of connection.
Ultimately, the article issues a powerful call to action for those in recovery: don’t just say you want intimacy—prove it. Begin where you are, but begin. For partners still offering connection, your continued hope is meaningful, but it must be met with effort. And for addicts, real change starts not with grand declarations, but with the next honest, intentional step toward your partner and yourself.
For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: Do you REALLY want Intimate CONNECTION or Not?
Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com
Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
Next Episode
As a Betrayed Partner, How Do I Stop Waiting Around for the Rug to be Pulled Out from Under Me–Again?!
PBSE Podcast Episode 281, tackles the painful and familiar experience of betrayed partners who live in a constant state of anxiety, waiting for the next betrayal to surface. Centering around a listener’s heartfelt submission, the article outlines the emotional toll of repeated trauma, especially in relationships where staggered disclosures have prolonged the hurt. Despite doing some recovery work, the listener still struggles with fear, mistrust, and a lack of emotional safety, highlighting the core issue: how to move forward without continually bracing for disaster.
The discussion focuses on reclaiming personal power through sovereignty, healthy boundaries, and authentic voice. It emphasizes that although the betrayed partner did not cause the trauma, healing requires active steps toward self-care and emotional clarity. Instead of controlling a partner’s actions, effective boundaries are framed around one’s own needs, expectations, and non-negotiables. The hosts challenge the traditional model of boundary-setting, shifting the focus from rule enforcement to emotional empowerment. They also stress the importance of clearly communicating pain—not as a weapon, but as an invitation to intimacy and healing.
Ultimately, the episode encourages partners to prioritize themselves first. Whether or not the relationship survives, their well-being, authenticity, and voice matter most. Real connection, the kind partners yearn for, is only possible when both individuals show up with honesty and accountability. If the addict partner is unwilling or unable to do that, the betrayed partner can still reclaim safety, peace, and purpose. Through programs like Dare to Connect and a strong support network, partners can stop waiting for catastrophe and instead begin living intentionally, boldly, and on their own terms.
For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: As a Betrayed Partner, How Do I Stop Waiting Around for the Rug to be Pulled Out from Under Me—Again?!
Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com
Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
If you like this episode you’ll love
Episode Comments
Generate a badge
Get a badge for your website that links back to this episode
<a href="https://goodpods.com/podcasts/porn-betrayal-sex-and-the-experts-pbse-264902/as-a-betrayed-partner-how-do-i-talk-to-my-teenage-kids-about-healthy-s-91103340"> <img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/goodpods-images-bucket/badges/generic-badge-1.svg" alt="listen to as a betrayed partner, how do i talk to my teenage kids about healthy sexuality? on goodpods" style="width: 225px" /> </a>
Copy