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Poly Pathways - Are You Ready to Navigate Dating Apps, Adventure, & Holidays in Polyamory?

Are You Ready to Navigate Dating Apps, Adventure, & Holidays in Polyamory?

Explicit content warning

02/14/25 • 76 min

Poly Pathways

In this lively episode of the Poly Pathways Podcast, Kat and Doc explore the fascinating world of polyamorous dating, offering real-life examples, practical tips, and plenty of good-humored banter. They dig into popular apps like OKCupid, Bumble, Tinder, Field, #Open, and PolyFinder to help you compare user bases, filtering options, and the pros and cons of each. Along the way, they share hilarious personal stories (shout-out to the old Yahoo Dating days!), emphasize the importance of being transparent about your polyam status, and remind everyone that effective communication—even on a digital platform—starts with an honest, well-crafted profile. You’ll also hear call-outs to unique resources such as the Tiny Decisions app for spontaneous date planning, and the occasional mention of “Drink Element,” a sponsor that keeps them energized between all their busy commitments.

Next, the hosts dive headfirst into strategies for meeting potential partners beyond traditional apps, from spotting friendly faces at renfaires and gaming events to dropping in on local poly meetup groups. Kat shares her take on why having a broad social circle—full of people with mutual hobbies like Dungeons & Dragons or community volunteer work—can be just as effective for forming new connections. The conversation touches on tricky topics like avoiding “unicorn-hunting” pitfalls, handling awkward or negative responses on dating apps, and setting boundaries around family responsibilities. They also discuss the difference between boundaries and rules, highlighting how self-awareness and early communication can help foster healthier, more respectful relationships.

Finally, Kat and Doc tackle the big seasonal dilemma: how to celebrate (or ignore) traditional romantic holidays like Valentine’s Day without losing sight of each partner’s feelings. From scheduling creative one-on-one outings on separate dates to planning bigger group events like trivia nights or escape rooms, they offer playful tips for including everyone—without forcing people into a single mold. Key questions this episode answers include which dating apps work best for poly folks, how to manage time and communication when juggling multiple relationships, and how to gracefully handle important dates on the calendar. No matter your approach, these show notes sum up the main takeaway: by staying honest, respectful, and mindful of everyone’s comfort zone, you can create positive experiences and meaningful connections in the world of polyamory.

Resources we mention (affiliate links)

Key Questions this Episode Answers

• Which dating apps work best for polyamorous folks?

• How do I approach safety, boundaries, and partner communication when dating?

• Where can I meet potential partners outside of apps?

• How do I handle special holidays like Valentine’s Day with multiple partners?

• When should I disclose personal and relationship details to new connections?

  • (00:00) - - All the Dating Apps
  • (26:46) - Better Profile & Opening Conversation Ideas
  • (46:16) - - Cool Poly First Dates
  • (56:08) - - First Date Do's & Don'ts
  • (01:08:13) - Special Days & Dates
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In this lively episode of the Poly Pathways Podcast, Kat and Doc explore the fascinating world of polyamorous dating, offering real-life examples, practical tips, and plenty of good-humored banter. They dig into popular apps like OKCupid, Bumble, Tinder, Field, #Open, and PolyFinder to help you compare user bases, filtering options, and the pros and cons of each. Along the way, they share hilarious personal stories (shout-out to the old Yahoo Dating days!), emphasize the importance of being transparent about your polyam status, and remind everyone that effective communication—even on a digital platform—starts with an honest, well-crafted profile. You’ll also hear call-outs to unique resources such as the Tiny Decisions app for spontaneous date planning, and the occasional mention of “Drink Element,” a sponsor that keeps them energized between all their busy commitments.

Next, the hosts dive headfirst into strategies for meeting potential partners beyond traditional apps, from spotting friendly faces at renfaires and gaming events to dropping in on local poly meetup groups. Kat shares her take on why having a broad social circle—full of people with mutual hobbies like Dungeons & Dragons or community volunteer work—can be just as effective for forming new connections. The conversation touches on tricky topics like avoiding “unicorn-hunting” pitfalls, handling awkward or negative responses on dating apps, and setting boundaries around family responsibilities. They also discuss the difference between boundaries and rules, highlighting how self-awareness and early communication can help foster healthier, more respectful relationships.

Finally, Kat and Doc tackle the big seasonal dilemma: how to celebrate (or ignore) traditional romantic holidays like Valentine’s Day without losing sight of each partner’s feelings. From scheduling creative one-on-one outings on separate dates to planning bigger group events like trivia nights or escape rooms, they offer playful tips for including everyone—without forcing people into a single mold. Key questions this episode answers include which dating apps work best for poly folks, how to manage time and communication when juggling multiple relationships, and how to gracefully handle important dates on the calendar. No matter your approach, these show notes sum up the main takeaway: by staying honest, respectful, and mindful of everyone’s comfort zone, you can create positive experiences and meaningful connections in the world of polyamory.

Resources we mention (affiliate links)

Key Questions this Episode Answers

• Which dating apps work best for polyamorous folks?

• How do I approach safety, boundaries, and partner communication when dating?

• Where can I meet potential partners outside of apps?

• How do I handle special holidays like Valentine’s Day with multiple partners?

• When should I disclose personal and relationship details to new connections?

  • (00:00) - - All the Dating Apps
  • (26:46) - Better Profile & Opening Conversation Ideas
  • (46:16) - - Cool Poly First Dates
  • (56:08) - - First Date Do's & Don'ts
  • (01:08:13) - Special Days & Dates

Previous Episode

undefined - Can We Just Be Friends? Navigating Platonic Relationships in Polyamory

Can We Just Be Friends? Navigating Platonic Relationships in Polyamory

Kat and Doc explore the perception of polyamory as a cult, challenge the notion that polyamorous individuals are trying to "convert" others, and how to form friendships in a complex relationship spectrum. They discuss how society's shift away from community building and toward hyper-individualism has influenced these misconceptions, referencing books like "Soul Boom" by Rainn Wilson and "Together" by Vivek Murthy to examine the broader context of America's loneliness epidemic.

The hosts delve into how being openly polyamorous can impact friendships and social circles, sharing personal experiences of both acceptance and rejection. They address common misconceptions, such as the assumption that polyamorous people want to date all their friends or that exposure to polyamory will "convert" monogamous individuals. The discussion emphasizes that polyamory is more about relationship orientation than choice, similar to sexual orientation.

The episode concludes by examining how polyamory's emphasis on clear communication can influence friendship dynamics and relationship transitions including escalations and de-escalations. Kat & Doc discuss the concept of "poly for the moment" and the importance of maintaining boundaries with friends who may view polyamory as an opportunity for infidelity, temporary exploration, or long awaited connection. They also preview their next episode about dating while polyamorous, which will cover topics like managing special days with multiple partners and dating app navigation.

Resources Mentioned (affiliate links):

Questions We Answer:

  • Is polyamory really a cult, or is monogamy more cult-like in its social pressure and expectations?
  • How do you maintain friendships when friends assume you want to date them after coming out as polyamorous?
  • Why do polyamorous people seem to talk about polyamory so much - is it about converting others or something else?
  • How do you handle friends who see your polyamory as an opportunity for infidelity or temporary exploration?
  • Can you de-escalate from a romantic relationship back to friendship in polyamory?
  • What happens to your social circle when your friends' partners are uncomfortable with your relationship style?
  • How do polyamorous people actually decide who they want to date versus maintain as friends?
  • Why might your old flames suddenly reappear when they learn you're polyamorous, and how should you handle it?
  • What role does enhanced communication play in maintaining boundaries and friendships while polyamorous?

Next Episode

undefined - How Much is Too Much? Let's Talk About Saturation

How Much is Too Much? Let's Talk About Saturation

Feeling overwhelmed by the sheer emotional and logistical weight of polyamory? You’re not alone. In this episode of Poly Pathways, Kat and Doc dive deep into the concept of saturation—that moment when you realize you’re stretched too thin across relationships, responsibilities, and personal well-being. They explore the warning signs of saturation, from exhaustion and disconnection to resentment and burnout, and share their own experiences of navigating this crucial aspect of polyamorous life. If you’ve ever struggled with balancing love, logistics, and self-care, this conversation is for you.

But identifying saturation is only half the battle—what do you do once you’re there? Kat and Doc break down strategies for managing saturation with existing partners, setting realistic expectations with new connections, and ensuring that you’re maintaining quality over quantity in your relationships. From check-in strategies and boundary setting to the importance of prioritizing friendships and self-care, they offer actionable advice for keeping your relationships fulfilling and sustainable. And yes, they remind us that even polyamorous folks need alone time—because you can’t pour from an empty cup.

This episode is packed with insights on communicating your limits, creating a supportive environment for communication, recognizing when external pressures (work, family, mental health) affect your capacity, and building a polyamorous lifestyle that works for you. Plus, they touch on the underrated value of friendships, the pitfalls of overpromising to new partners, and how to embrace the natural ebb and flow of emotional bandwidth. If you’re juggling multiple partners, a career, and a busy life, you won’t want to miss this episode. Tune in, take notes, and give yourself permission to pause, reassess, and set boundaries where needed.

About Poly Pathways Podcast

Resources (affiliate links)

• Magic AI – Virtual assistance service to help with daily life (Referral link in the show notes)

• Annie Undone

Enjoying Poly Pathways? Subscribe, leave a review, and share with your polycule! Your support helps us keep bringing you real, practical conversations about polyamory. 💜

  • (00:00) - Welcome & Introduction
  • (01:30) - Saturation
  • (25:06) - Creating Communication Around Saturation
  • (49:27) - Self Care and Support in Saturation

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