008: There Are Only Three Kinds of Business

06/11/20 • 20 min

Byron Katie likes to say that there are only three kinds of business in the world: mine, yours, and God’s. God’s business refers to the forces of Nature or to events that are beyond human control. Your business, is someone else’s life, including what they feel, think, and choose to do. My business is what’s left, that is, what is within my control. In his popular book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey describes the notion of Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence. We add here the Circle of Control, where Circle of Control = What I choose to do and can directly manipulate. Circle of Influence = What is not directly within my control, but can be affected by what I do. Circle of Concern = What I mentally worry about, whether or not I can do anything about it.

Previous Episode

007: What Is Enlightenment?

We’re taking a left turn, today, from cognitive theory, and we are going to talk about spirituality and the place it occupies on the path to peace. I refer to Sam Harris’s book, Waking Up, and I quote from an episode of his podcast, Making Sense. The book Ashrams, by Arnaud Desjardins, is probably out of print. So is Spiritual Awakening, by Ram Dass. See Also - A Mind at Home With Itself, by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell - Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tsu, translation by Stephen Mitchell - Ego, by Alan Watts - The Perennial Philosophy, by Aldous Huxley - The Brain’s Default Mode Network (2015), by Marcus Raichle. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 38(1), 433–447. - Why Buddhism Is True, by Robert Wright

Next Episode

009: Three Little Words That Can Mess up Your Life (Part 1) — Should

Are you “shoulding” all over yourself? The word “Should” happens to be one of the most insidious in the English language. In today’s episode, we talk about how: Psychoanalyst Karen Horney called “The Tyranny of the Should” this tendency to create an idealized self and a rejection of the real self. Albert Ellis spoke about the three kinds of “musts.” Using the word “should” is conveying criticism, like “scolding” oneself (or others). The value statements implied by that word are arbitrary and relative. The laws of Nature do not follow any “should,” but instead are what they are, and we don’t get a vote. Practice Rephrasing — replacing “should” with “is” or “does” or “I would prefer it if...” Reattribution — considering the alternative causes of events and behaviors. Positive Reframing — acknowledging that Should Statements come out of a very good place in you, that they reflect positive attributes and values, and that there is a helpful side to holding those beliefs. See Also , by Karen Horney , by Albert Ellis , the Online Etymology Dictionary