React Less, Respond More: Parenting Tips for Mindful Communication

05/30/23 • 32 min

Sometimes it can feel like we are full-time firefighters. We rush from one crisis to the next, never really fixing problems, just trying to slow down the spread.

Today we talk about the difference between reacting and responding and give you some practical advice on how you can begin the process of being more mindful of the things that are important to you in your relationship with your teen.

Learn more about ...

How urgency has a tendency to overthrow the things that are really important to us.
How to identify when you are reacting and when you are responding.
How control is costing you connection.
How to respond when you feel yourself in reactivity mode.
The barriers that will present themselves as you work towards responding to your teen more than reacting.

Practice getting out of reactivity mode and into response mode for the next two weeks by following the steps below:

Hit pause and focus on breathing.
“I want to learn to handle this well; I will do nothing until I have calmed down.” "I want to handle this well" Phone Wallpaper
Once calm, grab a sheet of paper and write down the following:
- What happened?
- What’s the impact/fear?
- What might happen next?
- What is the desired outcome?
- What actions should be taken?

Let me know how it's going by sending a DM on social media or an email using the email listed below.
___________________________________________________________________________

About Through The Hard:
"Through The Hard" is proudly presented by Pathways to Hope Network—an empathetic non-profit organization committed to providing free support and nurturing a sense of community for parents navigating the challenges of teens in crisis.

Explore Additional Support:

Delve into our website: Pathways to Hope Network (Subscribe for weekly encouragement)
Access local and national resources: Pathways Resources
Read insightful articles on our blog: Pathways Blog
Find answers to common queries: Pathways FAQ

Connect with Us:

Join our community on Facebook: Pathways to Hope Network Facebook
Stay connected on Instagram: Pathways to Hope Network Instagram
For personalized support, reach out via email: [email protected]

Sometimes it can feel like we are full-time firefighters. We rush from one crisis to the next, never really fixing problems, just trying to slow down the spread.

Learn more about ...

How urgency has a tendency to overthrow the things that are really important to us.
How to identify when you are reacting and when you are responding.
How control is costing you connection.
How to respond when you feel yourself in reactivity mode.
The barriers that will present themselves as you work towards responding to your teen more than reacting.

Practice getting out of reactivity mode and into response mode for the next two weeks by following the steps below:

Hit pause and focus on breathing.
“I want to learn to handle this well; I will do nothing until I have calmed down.” "I want to handle this well" Phone Wallpaper
Once calm, grab a sheet of paper and write down the following:
- What happened?
- What’s the impact/fear?
- What might happen next?
- What is the desired outcome?
- What actions should be taken?

Let me know how it's going by sending a DM on social media or an email using the email listed below.
___________________________________________________________________________

Explore Additional Support:

Delve into our website: Pathways to Hope Network (Subscribe for weekly encouragement)
Access local and national resources: Pathways Resources
Read insightful articles on our blog: Pathways Blog
Find answers to common queries: Pathways FAQ

Connect with Us:

Join our community on Facebook: Pathways to Hope Network Facebook
Stay connected on Instagram: Pathways to Hope Network Instagram
For personalized support, reach out via email: [email protected]

Previous Episode

Parenting Through the Storm: Self-Care and Friendship in Teen Crisis

"Friendship is a key coping mechanism for life’s tougher moments 💙"

In this final episode of our series on self-compassion, we're delving into one of the most cherished ways to practice self-care when you have a teen in crisis—spending time with friends.

Fact: The importance of self-care and the support of friends cannot be overstated.

Joining me in this conversation is my very best friend, Tonya. Together, we unwind and share insights on why friendship becomes our lifeline in the challenging journey of parenting teens in crisis.

Discover how:

This challenging season is not your forever—it's a part of your learning and growth.
Being with friends rekindles our joy, providing essential moments of respite.
Friendship acts as an anchor during life’s storms, offering support and understanding.
Time spent with friends becomes one of the most effective ways to decompress amid crisis.
We emphasize the significance of setting two standing dates a month, prioritizing self-care and friendship in the midst of parenting challenges.

Tune in as we unravel the vital role of self-care and friendship when parenting teens in crisis. Remember, you're not alone in this journey; together, we can find solace and strength.

___________________________________________________________________________

Explore Additional Support:

Delve into our website: Pathways to Hope Network (Subscribe for weekly encouragement)
Access local and national resources: Pathways Resources
Read insightful articles on our blog: Pathways Blog
Find answers to common queries: Pathways FAQ

Connect with Us:

Join our community on Facebook: Pathways to Hope Network Facebook
Stay connected on Instagram: Pathways to Hope Network Instagram
For personalized support, reach out via email: [email protected]

Next Episode

Connection vs. Control: Finding the Right Balance in Your Parenting Approach

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Carl Jung

“And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!” And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart, and say, “No. This is what’s important.”
Iain Thomas

In today's episode, we talk about the important roles that connection and control play in our relationship with our teens. With control seeming to be our default as parents, it’s important that we stop and ask ourselves what it might be costing us. Listen along as we dive into the SUPERPOWER most of us aren’t utilizing in our parenting game and how to begin activating it.

Learn more about....

A recent poll I took asking parents with adult children what they would do differently.
The three layers of behavior change.
Who you'd like to become in this season.
The difference between control and connection.
How to shift the things you are focusing on.

Remember, you’re child is no longer the project; you are.

Practice this for the next two weeks, and let me know how it’s going:

Spend a few days challenging yourself to focus on the positive (however small it may be) vs. the negative. The negative things shout and demand our attention, so they are easy to spot. Be a studier of the positive. Look for them and take the time to be grateful for them. Trust me; they are there.
Spend a few days focusing on working together to solve a problem with your teen vs. confrontation and control, which only leads to defiance.
Spend a few days documenting the 1% improvements you made during the day.

Links from the show:

___________________________________________________________________________

Explore Additional Support:

Delve into our website: Pathways to Hope Network (Subscribe for weekly encouragement)
Access local and national resources: Pathways Resources
Read insightful articles on our blog: Pathways Blog
Find answers to common queries: Pathways FAQ

Connect with Us: