84. When Sex & Spirituality Meet with Serena Rose
09/27/21 • 37 min
This week I’m talking all things healing and spirituality with Serena Rose, the Spiritual Sex Coach. Who’s here to show other people what is possible, by showing up as loving, authentic, and vulnerable as she can in any given moment, or in honor of what that looks like.
What led her to this work?
As a child, she experienced a variety of unique experiences from trauma-based to spiritual occurrences that guided her to where she is now. She helps people embrace their kinky side, while healing their relationships with authenticity and deeper sexual awareness. As a teenager she started studying self development and self growth and really started working on herself, so it unraveled from there. “The deeper and deeper I got into this work and myself, and my abilities, and challenges and all of it, I realized how connected everything is. My sexuality, my spirituality, all the experiences that led me to the point that I am right here and right now in this present moment.”
What does it mean to see spiritual beings?
We all have these abilities, it's one of our senses, we just don’t always tap into them, or even believe in them. There’s a lot of spiritual beings that we can see if we allow ourselves to, we’re surrounded by spirit guides all the time. Spirit is around us and in everything, it doesn’t have to take shape that we can logically see or understand.
It’s so much about believing that this work that you’re doing is going to work in the healing process and to take you to that next level self.
What are some practices for someone who is wanting to tap into their spiritual side?
Awareness is the key to absolutely everything, bringing awareness to what is going on in and around you is step one.
You can pray, and speak to your higher self, your spirit guides, your angels, your protectors, your ancestors, whatever you feel called to, and ask for guidance, direction, and just be curious.
There’s an audio book that really helps to understand the nuances of energy and spirituality called Energetic Boundaries by Cyndi Dale.
Where does sex play a part in this healing process or a connection with the spiritual side?There’s likely some role or some playing that could be done in the bedroom that would be fitting for each person. There is spirit and energy moving through you, and transmuting and healing, and it feels so good because there’s also pleasure involved. Bringing awareness to these intricate parts of yourself and your experiences and learn how to move with them and move the energy.
What resources would you recommend to start getting someone into a kink mindset, and helping them figure out what sort of kink to get into that can help serve them in a healing way?
BDSM Kink Test - Not only do you go through it and discover some kink symbols that you might relate to but there’s also short, easy to understand descriptions.
Alexa Martinez's That Sex Chick Podcast, The ABC’s of Kink with Bryn Daylor - Personal relatable stories, go into the most common kinks, but also kinks that are a bit more taboo.
Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliot, PhD Which goes into the shadow play of kinks.
2021 has brought a lot of openness to us all because of what we’re experiencing collectively, so what a time to dive in and do this work, and to have the time and space to do so. There’s not one person listening that doesn’t feel like they have something to heal at this point in their life. It doesn’t always have to be a sexual thing that you’re trying to heal, but we all know the power behind healing sexuality.
Con
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: [email protected]
This week I’m talking all things healing and spirituality with Serena Rose, the Spiritual Sex Coach. Who’s here to show other people what is possible, by showing up as loving, authentic, and vulnerable as she can in any given moment, or in honor of what that looks like.
What led her to this work?
As a child, she experienced a variety of unique experiences from trauma-based to spiritual occurrences that guided her to where she is now. She helps people embrace their kinky side, while healing their relationships with authenticity and deeper sexual awareness. As a teenager she started studying self development and self growth and really started working on herself, so it unraveled from there. “The deeper and deeper I got into this work and myself, and my abilities, and challenges and all of it, I realized how connected everything is. My sexuality, my spirituality, all the experiences that led me to the point that I am right here and right now in this present moment.”
What does it mean to see spiritual beings?
We all have these abilities, it's one of our senses, we just don’t always tap into them, or even believe in them. There’s a lot of spiritual beings that we can see if we allow ourselves to, we’re surrounded by spirit guides all the time. Spirit is around us and in everything, it doesn’t have to take shape that we can logically see or understand.
It’s so much about believing that this work that you’re doing is going to work in the healing process and to take you to that next level self.
What are some practices for someone who is wanting to tap into their spiritual side?
Awareness is the key to absolutely everything, bringing awareness to what is going on in and around you is step one.
You can pray, and speak to your higher self, your spirit guides, your angels, your protectors, your ancestors, whatever you feel called to, and ask for guidance, direction, and just be curious.
There’s an audio book that really helps to understand the nuances of energy and spirituality called Energetic Boundaries by Cyndi Dale.
Where does sex play a part in this healing process or a connection with the spiritual side?There’s likely some role or some playing that could be done in the bedroom that would be fitting for each person. There is spirit and energy moving through you, and transmuting and healing, and it feels so good because there’s also pleasure involved. Bringing awareness to these intricate parts of yourself and your experiences and learn how to move with them and move the energy.
What resources would you recommend to start getting someone into a kink mindset, and helping them figure out what sort of kink to get into that can help serve them in a healing way?
BDSM Kink Test - Not only do you go through it and discover some kink symbols that you might relate to but there’s also short, easy to understand descriptions.
Alexa Martinez's That Sex Chick Podcast, The ABC’s of Kink with Bryn Daylor - Personal relatable stories, go into the most common kinks, but also kinks that are a bit more taboo.
Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliot, PhD Which goes into the shadow play of kinks.
2021 has brought a lot of openness to us all because of what we’re experiencing collectively, so what a time to dive in and do this work, and to have the time and space to do so. There’s not one person listening that doesn’t feel like they have something to heal at this point in their life. It doesn’t always have to be a sexual thing that you’re trying to heal, but we all know the power behind healing sexuality.
Con
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: [email protected]
Previous Episode
83. Our Decision to Not Have Children
This week we’re being raw and real with my husband Danny about why even though we would be bomb ass parents for sure, it’s just not in the cards for us.
We have so much respect for parents, to put someone else’s need before your own can take a lot of courage. But neither of us really felt the desire, want or even need to have our own children. We love kids, but we also love being able to give them back to their own parents.
In a lot of cases, people’s upbringing and childhood can play a huge part in their decision to want or not want to have kids.
Both Danny and I come from divorced parents, step parents, and much younger step siblings. Danny was raised with and was and still is very close to his younger sister. While I was raised an only child, and had a very hard time not being able to see my younger half sister Morgan consistently when Morgan was growing up. Thankfully, I’m so much closer with my sister now thanks to her moving in last year when she needed a new start and a place to stay.
How did we feel about kids through our lives before making the decision not to have kids?
I always envisioned having children, mostly sports related things like; “Man it would be so cool to watch my kid playing sports”. Yeah, I could want to have children for all those kinds of reasons, but at the end of the day it’s the child's life, I wouldn’t want to be the parent that’s living vicariously through them. Danny has always been a heavy proponent to not having kids, so when we got together, the conversation around kids was always “Well, maybe. Maybe one day”.
What options did we explore once we decided not to have kids?
There’s a few different ways to go, a vasectomy, getting my tubes tied, staying on birth control, or using condoms for the rest of our life. I asked if Danny changed his mind would I give into having kids, or if I changed her mind would Danny give into having kids? If one of us very strongly wanted to have kids, we would, because we love each other. So with me not being able to be on birth control any longer, the best option for us was a vasectomy and freezing sperm as a just in case backup plan.
We go in depth about Danny’s experience with his appointments for freezing sperm in this episode, but we’ll do another one on the vasectomy because that deserves an episode on it’s own.
We're talking about this just to normalize the choice to not have kids. With our generation and the way the world is right now, the amount of people choosing to not have kids is increasing.
At the end of the day, we live an amazing life together. We love the life we’re living right now, and the life we’re continuing to build together.
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: [email protected]
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: [email protected]
Next Episode
85. Discovering Your Wants, Wills & Wont's
In this episode we’re diving into my most recent masterclass, and one of my most favorite tools for relationships, my Want, Will, Won’t List. This list will capture and dive a deeper into exactly what you want your sex life to look like and give you the power to create the sex life that you crave.
If you’re looking to try something new, or get a deeper understanding of your and your partner’s desires, this tool and this masterclass is definitely something you want to grab. If you’re single, this allows you to know what lights you up, if a potential partner doesn't like that at all, maybe that's not the person for you. It can help you have some mind blowing sex right away with the people that you do want to connect on a more deeper level with.
What is the Want, Will Won’t list?
In a nutshell, this exercise has all these different activities that you can do sexually, either with yourself or with your partner. On one side of the list it has you as the receiver and on the other side is you as the giver, you will go through and mark either the want, will, or won’t box for each activity.
How to decide if it’s a Want, a Will, or a Won’t
Want- these are the full body, hell yes, give me that, I want that all the time, I can’t imagine my life without that thing in it.
Will- These are the things that you’re like; okay, if this is something that my partner wants, this is something that they’re going to get pleasure from, I’m willing to do this.
Won’ts - these are a total no, or a hard limit. It can bring up stress or anxiety, if you feel shame or embarrassment about doing that activity, if it just feels really heavy, or you just get this icky type of feeling about it.
Where should I start?
You’re going to start with the full body hell yeses.
You also want to start on the receiver side of the sheet, it's easier to put yourself in the mindset of being the receiver of this type of pleasure.
Some things to ask yourself while doing this, “Would I feel sexually fulfilled if this activity weren’t in my life?” “Am l comfortable asking for this activity?” “Does it stir up excitement?” “Does it make me want to lean in, or lean away?”
What to do after we’ve filled out the list?
On the last page I’ve left space for you to fill in your top 10 wants in order of excitement. Having access to yours and your partners top 10 activities allows you to create amazing, epic date nights with each other.
Create a safe word for the bedroom. Now that you and your partner have created this manifest, you might start trying some new things, so making sure you have this safe word created can be so important.
Don’t think that just because you filled this out once, that's it. Sexuality is so fluid, our interests and desires, our wants and needs constantly changing. I would suggest you do this once or twice a year, it might be so eye opening to see what changes.
The amazing thing about this list is, after you go through, and you and your partner fill out these things, you have created your maifest of your sexuality. Here is the guide to all of my pleasures and all the things I want and seek in the bedroom.
Being able to give your partner the things that they want sexually can be such a game changer. Being willing to participate in a partner's wants, is one of the sexiest gifts you can give somebody. So, what are you waiting for?
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Mai
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: [email protected]
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