Overthinking in Your Underwear: A Self-Help Podcast that doesn't take itself too seriously

This week, a return guest, Ryan Stober. Ryan and I sit down to discuss drinking too much and getting sober complete with a few embarrassing stories.

Ryan shares his struggle with alcohol starting in high school and carrying into his 40s. Ryan and I both quit drinking and reflect on the why and what of it all including what it’s like to be sober in social situations now that we put down the booze. Thank you to Ryan for his honesty and thoughtfulness on the subject.

Watch this episode on YouTube. Follow the show wherever you get your podcasts.

If you are trying to drink less or understand your relationship with alcohol, I encourage you to listen to Andrew Huberman’s podcast on the effects of alcohol on our body and brain. We’ve been misinformed about the toxicity of alcohol in our body and our lives.Huberman Lab: What Alcohol Does To Your Body Brain and Health

If you enjoyed this podcast, listen to Lindsay and Ryan’s conversation about being single over 40.

For impactful resources for individuals and families seeking recovery. Visit First Call.

If you are looking for treatment options, visit findtreatment.gov

An excerpt from my book Overthinking in Your UnderwearNow on Amazon. Chapter 11:Overthinking and Drinking

I’m not so much a high-functioning alcoholic as I am a low-functioning social drinker. Everyone has a different tolerance for alcohol and mine is painfully low. You could have two drinks and operate a forklift, and when I have two drinks, I can’t lift my fork. It’s something I had to come to terms with in my thirties. Shut’er down. Last call. Tab’s closed.

In high school, I have a swig here or a beer there, but I don’t do any heavyweight drinking until college. For an introvert who’s more comfortable with books than bars, alcohol is the antidote for the new sprint of social interactions. Pre-party shots roll into late-night “after bars” and you float on the fumes of Finlandia until morning. I often drink at whatever pace the night or my friend group demands. My hangovers are wicked and the blackouts, worse. Limits are never learned, and I carry that behavior with me as a graduation gift.

Out of college, I don’t drink as often, but when I do, my poor tolerance surges back like a recently tapped keg. After a handful of drinks, I struggle to remember the night before and the following day, I puzzle together memories like Guy Pearce with a stack of Polaroids. It’s terrifying, shameful, and embarrassing—even if nothing of note happens.

But one night something does. I am living in New York enjoying a typical night with friends. Cheers, drink, slur, repeat. I wake up the next morning with a gaping hole where half the night should live. The last thing I remember the sun has only started to dim, but my faculties are out like a light.

After that, it’s only pieces and pictures. The face of a man I don’t know leaning over me. The flare of a flashlight passing over my eyes like headlights on a highway. And pitch granite blackness. That was it. I can’t recall anything else. I speak to a friend who was with me the night before, and she assures me all is well. It was a fun, boozy night, and I left the group to look for a cab as the night ended. Now, I’m home safe, and I shouldn’t overthink it.

A few days later, my anxiety-hangover begins to wane, and I return to my apartment with an armful of groceries. As I head inside a neighbor stops me. She’s a young woman in her twenties who frequently sits outside smoking on our stoop. Before today, we’ve never exchanged more than a cordial head nod.

“Are you okay?” my neighbor asks.

“Oh, hi. Um, yeah, why?” I reply.

“You don't remember, do you?” she says. Nothing rushes back to me, but I know she’s about to tell me something I don’t want to hear.

“You were pretty out of it the other night,” my neighbor says, stomping her cigarette into the pavement.

“I came outside to smoke, and you were passed out in a cab. Driver was trying to wake you up, flashlight in the eye, the whole thing.” she continues.

I look at my feet.

“I showed him where you lived. We carried you to your apartment,” she says.

I mumble “thank you” or maybe “I’m sorry.”

If I’m being honest, I don’t know what I sai...

Did you know December 11 is the most popular day of the year for breakups?

As we approach the annual break up day and the holiday season, Lindsay sits down with relationship expert, Jill Simpson, to discuss six steps to get through a break up.

Learn more about Jill’s online relationship course as well as her at-home Relationship Refresh kit (a great gift for couples) available on Amazon.

Step 1: Don’t try to wrap it up in a bow Step 2: Don’t confuse your emotions Step 3: Don’t fall in love with a story Step 4: Don’t fall for the drama, mamma Step 5: Don’t play the ex game Step 6: Don’t waste your Big Break Up Energy

If you enjoy this episode, listen to Secrets of a Relationship Expert with Jill and Trisha. Or, watch the episode on YouTube.

More advice from my book, Overthinking in Your Underwear .

Check yourself before you reject yourself

Look at your lessons from the relationship. List them now on your piece of paper.

Give gratitude for your lessons, whether good or bad. Do this through writing, meditation, or bringing them to mind.

Clear your conscience. Apologize to your ex if you need to. Do NOT apologize if it’s not necessary.

Cut off communication at least for a while. This means social media, text, and physically.

Amp your self-worth through meditation, affirmations, and surrounding yourself with people and friends who know and affirm your value.

Live with your emotions about the breakup and let it go. Don’t sink into the spectacle of the ending. Tell your friends and YOURSELF you’re done talking about it. Process it and proceed.

If friendship is in your future, get real with yourself about your intentions before reaching out to your ex and accepting them back into your life.

Releasing relationships or unhealthy patterns (a meditation)

Below is a meditation for releasing old patterns, whether it’s a relationship, problematic behavior, or a failure. Use it for any situation you want to pick up, put down, and leave in the past. Try it. Then, try it again. And the next day. You’ll be surprised what you can put behind you when you actively decide to detach from it.

Find a quiet meditation space. Sit or lie down, eyes closed. Let yourself ease into the moment for a few minutes. Picture a space of calm, peace, and warmth. See your self-worth tank burning bright in the center of your belly. It’s hot, bubbly, and glowing with self-love. Give it a color that has meaning to you (gold, blue, red, orange, purple). Your self-worth projects out into the Universe and the image in your mind is warm, colorful, and radiant. Stay here for a few moments as your body fills with the light and heat generated by your self-worth.

Next, bring forward what you’d like to work through or release. Let’s say it’s a relationship. Picture the person or something that represents that person. (For instance, an object the person gave you during the relationship.) In front of you is a vault-like door, thick and almost impossible to open. On the door is a large wheel, heavy and rusted over from time.

You walk to the door and turn the wheel. It takes effort to move, but eventually, it clicks into place, and you open the door. The person you are releasing walks through the door, and you shut it behind them with a loud THUD. Again, you painstakingly turn the wheel and it locks into place and latches shut. You walk back to your space of light and warmth and sit down. The relationship is locked in the past. Gone from your present. Shut off from your thinking.

Walk back to your place of peace and sit down. Focus on your self-worth tank, and see it rise with newly unburdened self-worth. Stay here in this place of peace and warmth for as long as you find pleasing, sinking into the new feeling of lightness and ease. Come out of your mediation and back into your day when you are ready.

DISCLAIMER: Please know that the information shared in this episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and not considered therapy or counseling. This is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice or treatment. If you feel you are in need of therapy at this time, please seek out a counselor in your area.

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As we close out the year, I share a year of overthinking with you. Here's my wrapped list of my top 4 overthinking thoughts and themes of the year along with tips to help you consider your own.

In this episode, we overthink:

Going public on social media

Perfection is the enemy of progress

Adult milestones

Aging & Beauty Neutrality

Lindsay sits down with her cousins, Jenna and Cara Francella, to hear the story of their family’s life-long paranormal experiences. Plus, aliens, psychic abilities, and a colonial boy kneeling in the corner. Expect humor, thoughtful insights, and fun conversation. Ready? Let's overthink it.

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In this episode, I discuss growing up an introvert with extroverted parents and coming to accept it later in life through the understanding of core beliefs. Core beliefs are the absolute truths we hold about the world and how it functions. Adopting a belief system that works against you can influence how you feel about yourself and your self-worth. We also discuss drinking and socializing, blame, and a true crime documentary I'm overthinking.